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Positive thoughts about difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 428670"><p>Thanks Allan.... I like those concrete examples. I will think about that next time my easy child daughter leaves the kitchen a mess. I know that I tend to be less sympathetic about the little things where as on the big issues I think I do pretty well..... but I have some real life examples I would be interested in your response. In these situations I think I actually handled them well but not sure what you are talking about works as well.. So here are some examples.</p><p></p><p>1. In 5th grade you get called in by the teacher because it was discovered that your son stole another kids lunch box.</p><p>2. In 7th grade your kid was kicked out of camp for stealing a large sum of money from another kid.</p><p>3. You get a call at 2am from the police because your son was caught driving your car on only his permit (no license). You were sound asleep and last you knew he was home and so had totally taken the car out without your permission or knowledge and was not allowed to legally drive alone.</p><p></p><p>I of course have many more examples as I am sure others do here.... but would you still use the excuses like you mentioned above or is it now time for a different approach.</p><p></p><p>Believe me we tried in all these situations to try to get at what he was thinking and feeling and what was the behavior really about, including therapists etc.</p><p></p><p>And Mrsammler.... I have also wondered if my son is a budding sociopath but as his mother I remember the little boy who had loads of empathy for the downtrodden and animals. For some reason he has learned to hide the softer side of himself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 428670"] Thanks Allan.... I like those concrete examples. I will think about that next time my easy child daughter leaves the kitchen a mess. I know that I tend to be less sympathetic about the little things where as on the big issues I think I do pretty well..... but I have some real life examples I would be interested in your response. In these situations I think I actually handled them well but not sure what you are talking about works as well.. So here are some examples. 1. In 5th grade you get called in by the teacher because it was discovered that your son stole another kids lunch box. 2. In 7th grade your kid was kicked out of camp for stealing a large sum of money from another kid. 3. You get a call at 2am from the police because your son was caught driving your car on only his permit (no license). You were sound asleep and last you knew he was home and so had totally taken the car out without your permission or knowledge and was not allowed to legally drive alone. I of course have many more examples as I am sure others do here.... but would you still use the excuses like you mentioned above or is it now time for a different approach. Believe me we tried in all these situations to try to get at what he was thinking and feeling and what was the behavior really about, including therapists etc. And Mrsammler.... I have also wondered if my son is a budding sociopath but as his mother I remember the little boy who had loads of empathy for the downtrodden and animals. For some reason he has learned to hide the softer side of himself. [/QUOTE]
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