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Possession and lying need advice
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 606624" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>Welcome Mary. Tough call. everyone needs to do what is right for their family but I will tell you we had the exact same experience with our daughter. We dropped her off at college in late August and by Oct 13 she was charged with drug paraphanelia and underage drinking in her dorm. My husband is a lawyer and he did represent her but we thought long and hard about it. She did not get offered a lower plea because that particular court at the time was run by a judge who refused to plea bargain with this sort of offense. She was ordered to do community service, attend an alcohol/drug assesment and class and if she was compliant at the end of three months the charges would be dismissed. She did and they were, but of course my husband had to have them expunged since they would still be on the record. She also got suspended from college for the next semester and never went back.</p><p></p><p>At the time we also wanted to protect her future and in the end I am glad we did, but it did not prevent further trouble. That pot use and drinking was just the beginning of a few years of out of control alcohol/pot use. We put her in a residential substance abuse treatment center shortly after her coming home from college. She continued using and got into more trouble. We had to make her leave our house and she lived with a neighbor boy who was a heroin addict for about 3 months. She eventually got her own apartment and job but was fired because of her drinking/pot use. She was arrested for shoplifting and had to call us for help. My husband provided a lawyer for her through his foim and she again was required to do community service (a lot) and was banned from the store and since her record at college was expunged they were able to treat it as a first offense. When she completed her sentence the charges were dropped and again they were expunged.</p><p></p><p>Fast forward to today. She is doing much better, has a job (minimum wage but at least it's a job) is living with her boyfriend and has passed a background check. If that would have still been on her record things would be much different.</p><p></p><p>Having an attorney for a husband I would always recommend getting an attorney. One of the boys who was charged with her in college still has the charge on his record even though it's been dismissed. I guess he doesn't care since it's a misdemeanor but without an attorney it will be there forever.</p><p></p><p>We did everything we could to help protect our daughter's future while at the same time making her responsible for her actions. That may have not been the right thing to do for some bu for us it was what we felt was right at the time. She is now 22 and I have more hope now than I have had in many years.</p><p></p><p>I was not above lying to her when we found out the story which she did not tell us either. I actually found her arrest on the court website in the college town after reading some comments on fb that made me suspicious. Then I told her her college called us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 606624, member: 59"] Welcome Mary. Tough call. everyone needs to do what is right for their family but I will tell you we had the exact same experience with our daughter. We dropped her off at college in late August and by Oct 13 she was charged with drug paraphanelia and underage drinking in her dorm. My husband is a lawyer and he did represent her but we thought long and hard about it. She did not get offered a lower plea because that particular court at the time was run by a judge who refused to plea bargain with this sort of offense. She was ordered to do community service, attend an alcohol/drug assesment and class and if she was compliant at the end of three months the charges would be dismissed. She did and they were, but of course my husband had to have them expunged since they would still be on the record. She also got suspended from college for the next semester and never went back. At the time we also wanted to protect her future and in the end I am glad we did, but it did not prevent further trouble. That pot use and drinking was just the beginning of a few years of out of control alcohol/pot use. We put her in a residential substance abuse treatment center shortly after her coming home from college. She continued using and got into more trouble. We had to make her leave our house and she lived with a neighbor boy who was a heroin addict for about 3 months. She eventually got her own apartment and job but was fired because of her drinking/pot use. She was arrested for shoplifting and had to call us for help. My husband provided a lawyer for her through his foim and she again was required to do community service (a lot) and was banned from the store and since her record at college was expunged they were able to treat it as a first offense. When she completed her sentence the charges were dropped and again they were expunged. Fast forward to today. She is doing much better, has a job (minimum wage but at least it's a job) is living with her boyfriend and has passed a background check. If that would have still been on her record things would be much different. Having an attorney for a husband I would always recommend getting an attorney. One of the boys who was charged with her in college still has the charge on his record even though it's been dismissed. I guess he doesn't care since it's a misdemeanor but without an attorney it will be there forever. We did everything we could to help protect our daughter's future while at the same time making her responsible for her actions. That may have not been the right thing to do for some bu for us it was what we felt was right at the time. She is now 22 and I have more hope now than I have had in many years. I was not above lying to her when we found out the story which she did not tell us either. I actually found her arrest on the court website in the college town after reading some comments on fb that made me suspicious. Then I told her her college called us. [/QUOTE]
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