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<blockquote data-quote="Kalahou" data-source="post: 677188" data-attributes="member: 19617"><p>HI and Welcome Alice,</p><p>Your wish and plan to downsize is admirable and a good inspiration to me. Even if you did not have the situation with your grandson, this sounds like a good move to bring you much freedom and ease of living in the next phase of life. It takes a lot of courage to part with treasured possessions as well as superfluous “stuff” we have accumulated over the years. But it can be done. Help is out there. Start getting the word out to seek help, when you are ready.</p><p></p><p>You already recognize this downsizing plan will be the best forward move for yourself, and in the process it will definitely help your grandson also, as it is not good for him or you for him to continue being verbally abusive and angered to the point that you must avoid each other to keep peace in the house. I hope you realize that his anger is likely not even at you, even though he is taking it out on you. He is angry probably with himself. He may have inner anger at his step father or due to his mother’s passing, or because of his mental health issues, etc. But it is still no excuse for him to treat you disrespectfully.</p><p></p><p>You sound very patient, wise, and realistic about yourself and your grandson. You have been through a lot with your health concerns, and with the sad passing of your daughter. I'm thankful for the improvements you have realized in your healing. I’m glad you are seeking counseling to move forward with some assistance to take care of yourself safely and have some grace and peace in the next stage of your life.</p><p></p><p>Your grandson sounds quite capable to learn to make it on his own. He has a job. He knows how to curb his behavior and act socially respectful when the stakes are high (such as when you tried to have him vacate, he came around to be more respectful.) I think your move to force the situation to separate (from him living with you) will be for the best. Do not feel guilty about your grandson, as you need and deserve to consider what is best for your health, safety, and freedom in your life.</p><p></p><p>Best wishes for things to fall into place quickly for you. Get the help you need to start downsizing and locating a living situation for yourself. Perhaps the counselor can help or provide additional resources and options.</p><p></p><p>Let us know how it goes. Keep visiting the forum. It really helps to build yourself up and strengthen resolve and affirm the need for detachment to being the best results for all involved. Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kalahou, post: 677188, member: 19617"] HI and Welcome Alice, Your wish and plan to downsize is admirable and a good inspiration to me. Even if you did not have the situation with your grandson, this sounds like a good move to bring you much freedom and ease of living in the next phase of life. It takes a lot of courage to part with treasured possessions as well as superfluous “stuff” we have accumulated over the years. But it can be done. Help is out there. Start getting the word out to seek help, when you are ready. You already recognize this downsizing plan will be the best forward move for yourself, and in the process it will definitely help your grandson also, as it is not good for him or you for him to continue being verbally abusive and angered to the point that you must avoid each other to keep peace in the house. I hope you realize that his anger is likely not even at you, even though he is taking it out on you. He is angry probably with himself. He may have inner anger at his step father or due to his mother’s passing, or because of his mental health issues, etc. But it is still no excuse for him to treat you disrespectfully. You sound very patient, wise, and realistic about yourself and your grandson. You have been through a lot with your health concerns, and with the sad passing of your daughter. I'm thankful for the improvements you have realized in your healing. I’m glad you are seeking counseling to move forward with some assistance to take care of yourself safely and have some grace and peace in the next stage of your life. Your grandson sounds quite capable to learn to make it on his own. He has a job. He knows how to curb his behavior and act socially respectful when the stakes are high (such as when you tried to have him vacate, he came around to be more respectful.) I think your move to force the situation to separate (from him living with you) will be for the best. Do not feel guilty about your grandson, as you need and deserve to consider what is best for your health, safety, and freedom in your life. Best wishes for things to fall into place quickly for you. Get the help you need to start downsizing and locating a living situation for yourself. Perhaps the counselor can help or provide additional resources and options. Let us know how it goes. Keep visiting the forum. It really helps to build yourself up and strengthen resolve and affirm the need for detachment to being the best results for all involved. Take care. [/QUOTE]
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