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Post Mother's Day thoughts.............
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 594462" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>I've been thinking along these lines lately too, Recovering. What I've been able to figure out about those feelings is that, just as the mother of a normal, productive child thinks about her child so many times each day and takes joy in it...we think about our so darn dysfunctional children and get that heavy, foggy weather and-there's something-awful-just-around-the-corner feeling.</p><p></p><p>Love is love. We don't stop loving them, they don't stop being part of who we are, just because we say so.</p><p></p><p>It's like we're living in one of those old horror movies where there are no surprises and everyone overacts. Like The Phantom of the Opera, maybe. I never did like that movie. But I really liked your imagery as a way for us to get a handle on those feelings, Recovering. I wonder if it will be possible to "pick another theme song, change the channel, watch a different show" and so, reset our emotional realities? </p><p></p><p>I got a big charge out of the "Jaws" quotes on the quote posting. I wonder whether, if we consciously tried to change the emotional weather from The Phantom of the Opera mode to the clear, startling blue (and beautifully creepy music! :O) of the "Jaws" mode.... I wonder whether I can do that?</p><p></p><p>There is even a little humor in it, when you think of it that way. You know, that creepy da dum, da dum ~ and then, the heart-racing rest of it, when you know Jaws is coming for the boat?</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Of course, we all have to be sure to identify with the Roy Scheider character. Isn't he the only survivor? Or did Richard Dreyfus survive, too. </p><p></p><p>And here is an interesting analogy: The old fisherman, so knowledgeable. so confident and strong ~ like we were, before our difficult children came along and did us in ~ is eaten by the shark. (!)</p><p></p><p>Ew.</p><p></p><p>And here's the thing about the Richard Dreyfus character: An authority figure on the subject at hand, whose knowledge, technology, focused interest and limitless funds meant nothing, in the face of the difficult child shark. I was arrogant like that, before daughter made her difficult child debut. (Daughter first explored these issues as an adolescent. I hadn't found the site yet then, so not only do you all not know about that, but it wouldn't have mattered, because I firmly understood that everything that had gone wrong was my fault. No mere therapist could change my mind, though many tried. It took the power of the site to shake me free of that one.) </p><p></p><p>And we all know what happens in the Jaws sequel(s). The shark gets these magically destructive powers, tormenting the islanders and eventually, the (Disney) world.</p><p></p><p>Sort of like our intentions for our families have been devastated and destroyed by our difficult children. However happy I pretend to be, some days I just cannot shake that Phantom of the Opera feeling. </p><p></p><p>Alright, then. I get to be Roy Schreider. The clear eyed straight shooter who calls a shark a shark and says the beach must be closed.</p><p></p><p>Did anyone see him in All That Jazz? My favorite movie.</p><p></p><p>If I can do it, thinking this way might really help me, Recovering. It's been very hard for both of us, since we got home. </p><p></p><p>Know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go on YouTube and see whether I can find that Jaws music. And I'm going to print out pictures of the three main characters and post them here by the phone, just like I did with those soldiers, that time. </p><p></p><p>Maybe this is the way to live strong, Recovering. You know what they say. Perception is key. :O)</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 594462, member: 1721"] I've been thinking along these lines lately too, Recovering. What I've been able to figure out about those feelings is that, just as the mother of a normal, productive child thinks about her child so many times each day and takes joy in it...we think about our so darn dysfunctional children and get that heavy, foggy weather and-there's something-awful-just-around-the-corner feeling. Love is love. We don't stop loving them, they don't stop being part of who we are, just because we say so. It's like we're living in one of those old horror movies where there are no surprises and everyone overacts. Like The Phantom of the Opera, maybe. I never did like that movie. But I really liked your imagery as a way for us to get a handle on those feelings, Recovering. I wonder if it will be possible to "pick another theme song, change the channel, watch a different show" and so, reset our emotional realities? I got a big charge out of the "Jaws" quotes on the quote posting. I wonder whether, if we consciously tried to change the emotional weather from The Phantom of the Opera mode to the clear, startling blue (and beautifully creepy music! :O) of the "Jaws" mode.... I wonder whether I can do that? There is even a little humor in it, when you think of it that way. You know, that creepy da dum, da dum ~ and then, the heart-racing rest of it, when you know Jaws is coming for the boat? :O) Of course, we all have to be sure to identify with the Roy Scheider character. Isn't he the only survivor? Or did Richard Dreyfus survive, too. And here is an interesting analogy: The old fisherman, so knowledgeable. so confident and strong ~ like we were, before our difficult children came along and did us in ~ is eaten by the shark. (!) Ew. And here's the thing about the Richard Dreyfus character: An authority figure on the subject at hand, whose knowledge, technology, focused interest and limitless funds meant nothing, in the face of the difficult child shark. I was arrogant like that, before daughter made her difficult child debut. (Daughter first explored these issues as an adolescent. I hadn't found the site yet then, so not only do you all not know about that, but it wouldn't have mattered, because I firmly understood that everything that had gone wrong was my fault. No mere therapist could change my mind, though many tried. It took the power of the site to shake me free of that one.) And we all know what happens in the Jaws sequel(s). The shark gets these magically destructive powers, tormenting the islanders and eventually, the (Disney) world. Sort of like our intentions for our families have been devastated and destroyed by our difficult children. However happy I pretend to be, some days I just cannot shake that Phantom of the Opera feeling. Alright, then. I get to be Roy Schreider. The clear eyed straight shooter who calls a shark a shark and says the beach must be closed. Did anyone see him in All That Jazz? My favorite movie. If I can do it, thinking this way might really help me, Recovering. It's been very hard for both of us, since we got home. Know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go on YouTube and see whether I can find that Jaws music. And I'm going to print out pictures of the three main characters and post them here by the phone, just like I did with those soldiers, that time. Maybe this is the way to live strong, Recovering. You know what they say. Perception is key. :O) Barbara [/QUOTE]
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