brandyf
New Member
"yes i sent the letter yesterday. i am scared to death of what they are going to have to say to me, and i surely hope the principal and teachers are mature enough not to let this interfere with my daughters school life, or make things harder on difficult child. but i had no other choice. like i said he spent 8.5 hours in ISS this week. His attitude is going to H%#L. he didnt even want to go trick or treating. saw our pediatrician yesterday. he referred him for sensory interogation, but this morning i called my insurance company and of course its not covered. i even made an appointment for our own neuropsychologist evaluation, which we got in less than 2 weeks, but again insurance is not going to pay for it.
so...since i have no money because of the co-pays for our pediatrician and psychologist (weekly)...,i have to have teh public pay for teh testing. the school will not cut him a friggin break..they are triggering him... i am so enraged with them.. I sent the letter yesterday. Not sure what i should be expecting now...or if they are going Occupational Therapist (OT) call me, or what... do you think its a 100% that they will do the evaluation? Or will i have to fight for it? "
what should i be expecting?
they at teh school have started daily behavioral type tracking logs and let me tell you, they are so off...they are setting him up for failure. i have been tracking everything to the best of my knowledge...over time memories do fade, especially ones you dotn want to remember. i am goign to paste everything into this message for you guys to read and let me know what am i doing wrong?, what can i do better? what shoudl i be doing?
History of Behavior
"HISTORY OF BEHAVIOR:
Age 2-4-years-old:
He did sleep and eat well but was very angry and through massive temper tantrums. He would bite, slap, swear. I was not able to let him play safely with other children. He did have strange quirks like not putting bare feet on grass, hands got dirty the world came to an end, as he got older he didnt like certain clothes like if the tags scratched him in the back, or if the pants were long enough list goes on
Daycares:
Andrew attended three different daycares between ages 3 and 4 before we found one that we were comfortable with. He did not have any trouble or bad remarks from any of them.
Preschool:
Andrew started going to preschool at age four at our local elementary school. The entire year was horrible. I should have kept all the documents and behavior slips but I did not. He disrupted the entire class all year long and his teachers were pulling their hair out with him. I had many meetings with the teachers and principals over Andrews behavior.
Finally, after the school year had ended our pediatrician Dr. Richmond set Andrew up with an appointment to meet with a child psychologist through Burrell. We as a family met with the counselor once a week for 3 months. She stated many times that he showed symptoms of ODD but was not seeing any ADHD. We were taught the importance of consistent parenting, time-outs, reward systems, 1-2-3 Magic, and using behavior charts. We were very pleased with our progress and Andrew responded rapidly to the positive disciplining techniques. Overall, I felt we, as parents had been the biggest problem in not being consistent with Andrew.
Kindergarten began.
On the third day, we received a call from the principal stating that Andrew and another boy (which happened to be our next-door neighbor) had been throwing rocks outside the school and busted a window. We would have to split the cost to replace the window. Andrew showed no remorse and could not even explain the situation to us when he got home, nor to the principal. After much talk, he did finally confess, but I believe he was under pressure of just wanting us to quit talking about it and leave him alone. We grounded Andrew to his bedroom for the evening. Two days later the principal called and said luckily through a recent inspection they realized the window had been documented as being cracked prior so we did not have to cover the cost of the window. Overall, the rest of the kindergarten year went fairly smooth. As I recall he had one or two incidents with other children being aggressive and had to sit in the principals office for a time. We were very pleased at the end of the year with all of his academics and were relieved to think he was finally growing up.
Summer after kindergarten:
Over the summer, Andrew started new habits of stealing and lying. He stole from gas stations, Wal-Mart, even his own grandfather. We finally got Andrew to confess and apologize to each individual thinking the humility would take effect. Still no remorse. He had a few fights and mishaps with neighbor kids throughout the summer, each time either denying it and blaming it on someone else, or owning up to it and saying, I dont care. He was however very excited to start a new school year. Another new thing that manifested was the seams of his socks, which seems like a spoiled, wanting to get what I want situation, but he took it way further than that. It has turned into a 20-minute process of getting it socks straight lined up with his toes to be able to put the shoes on, or we were not going anywhere.
First grade.
On the very first day, I asked his teacher (Ms. Phillips) how his day had went. She said Not bad, although he did punch a girl in the stomach today. The list goes on:
1. I let one week go by before asking the teacher again about his daily events. She mentioned that he was not paying attention and very disrespectful in class. She explained to me her classroom discipline, which is that each child starts on green for the day, then drops to yellow when misbehaving, then to pink, down to red. They do however get the chance of earning themselves back up the color wheel for good behaviors during the same day. If a child was able to remain on green all week the reward is to eat lunch with the teacher in her classroom. I began to ask Andrew everyday what color he got on. He was telling me green, yellow so I assumed everything was going to be fine. Then the calls started. Ms. Phillips called me and said that Andrew had been caught misguiding a younger student outside the building as a joke, but did let him back in. She said it was dangerous and she could not have him endangering other students. I agreed. She said he had been nonstop misbehaving since school started. I explained that I had been unaware since Andrew was obviously lying to me about the colors he had been getting on. She said he had not been off red since school started. I asked that she either call me or send a note home to confirm his color, and if he is on red, I will ground him to his room. I was sure after a couple of times Andrew would try to do better. I explained the rules to Andrew and he was well aware of the consequences of his actions.
2. About another week passed by and still had not heard a word from the teacher about Andrew, then a call. She had enough of Andrews name calling, lack of discipline, lack of conscious, talking out, being disrespectful, ignoring instructions and that she wanted to have a conference with the principal and Andrew. During the conference (which his father attended with him as I was in Urgent Care for a sickness), she had expressed Andrews problems, his father apologized and asked many times what we should be doing to help, with no answers. The principal mentioned that Andrew has a history of being difficult in the beginning of the school year and then he just gets over it, so that we should just hope for the best.
3. Finally, Ms. Phillips decided the color wheel was not working for Andrew. He expressed very openly that he did not care about the colors. She decided to start sending daily behavioral charts home. I only received two in approximately a week. So that really was not very consistent either.
4. Andrew at about the 3rd week of school starting showing massive behavioral changes at home: constantly arguing, not wanting to go to school, stating that Ms. Phillips did not like him. Has had many bouts of diarrhea and vomiting sporadically like anxiety and complaining of stomachaches.
5. 10/04/2007: Call from principal. Had to get Andrew from school. Suspended for 24 hours for throwing a pencil at a classmate hitting him just below the eye. Andrew said that the other child had thrown it first and he was just throwing it back. I was grateful just hearing Andrew have an explanation. I had a meeting with the principal over the incident and to let him know that I thought Andrew needed some type of intervention of sorts and that we were going to set him up with Burrell. I told the principal that we were seeing increasing problems with his anxiety and depression at home by not wanting to go to school and not liking his teacher. The principal just tried to reassure me that he is not that bad yet, they have not given up on him and that he just seems defiant.
6. We started seeing another psychologist at Burrell to try to help Andrew release or learn to release anxiety and frustration without hurting other children.
7. Andrew got into a fistfight with a neighbor boy on a Sunday afternoon as we were putting up Halloween decorations as a family. Once we were able to break up the fight Andrew took it upon himself to run into his room and slam the door screaming, I am never coming out. He was obviously upset and could not deal with the emotions he was experiencing.
8. 10/19/2007. Andrews teacher removed him from an assembly for bending over and crawling around trying to get a little girls lost bracelet. Around 11:30 a.m., Andrew was made to call me to let me know he had broken 12 of his classmates pencils and that I would have to buy more to replace them. He was not able to tell me why he had done this. Then after school, the teacher had my 9-year-old daughter hold Andrews hand to my car since he had been acting up so badly, clearly trying to humiliate him. After school, I called Ms. Phillips and told her I did not think his attitude was getting better at all and that he was showing depressive symptoms and that I wanted him transferred to another class.
9. 10/22/2007. Had meeting with principal, he agreed to move him but not that day. We took Andrew home for the day. In our conference, I again begged for some information on what I should be doing as a parent. I asked if he thought he should be tested for special classes? Again, was reassured that Andrew was fine.
10. 10/23/2007. Had a fine day with his new teacher and classmates.
11. 10/24/2007. Still nothing to report upon by new teacher.
12. 10/25/2007. At one oclock p.m., call from secretary. Andrew had hit, slapped and kicked four students that day and since the principal was out, Andrew had to be removed from the school.
13. 10/26/2007. Andrew was in ISS from 8:15 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. for the prior incident. At 1:00 p.m., Andrew was sent back to the principals office for punching a kid in the hall on the way to music. Still when asked why he done these things because I felt like it. Principal kept him in ISS for the rest of the day. After school principal called and asked to move him back to his original class. Over the weekend we implemented a new rewards program using these huge fake $100 bills. If we notice something positive and wonderful about our kids, we will give them one. As soon as they have 10 of them, we will take them to Wal-Mart or anywhere for that matter to buy them what they want. We cannot take them back, they cant give them back. Once you earn them, they are yours permanently. We also made new chore charts that are a lot simpler made homemade out of glue, construction paper, felt, puff pain and popsicle sticks. Trying to give kids new perspective to earning and a feeling of being truly important in our family.
14. 10/29/2007. Back to Ms. Phillips class using an independent behavior slip that Andrew monitors himself hourly, approval from teacher with a star or checkmark. Okay day overall.
15. 10/30/2007. Okay behavior report. Still a couple of outbursts like inappropriate words.
16. 10/31/2007. Principal called at 12:30, Andrew hit a girl in the face with a fruit rollup at lunch. Sent to ISS for rest of the day and will have to spend all day tomorrow there as well. Principal stated that Andrew had no idea why he had done what he did but that he finally had gotten him to cry and felt like he was actually getting somewhere with him because he had never cried to him before. He said that Andrew wanted him to call his mom. When Andrew came home from school, he immediately went to the bathroom. He started complaining of a stomachache and said that he had not been able to go to the bathroom the whole time he was in ISS. I tried not to buy into the excuse too much. I explained to Andrew that he could just ask anyone to be able to go, and that it was nonsense. He made it very difficult by not even wanting to go trick or treating. I believe this was his anxiety. P.S. He tried throwing all of his earned fake dollars back at us. He has 5 at this point. Really trying to find awesome things he is doing to give them to him.
17. 11/01/2007: He woke up in a horrible mood, barely got his clothes on and ate he did not want to go to school knowing he had ISS. He sat the entire day in a cubical inside the principals office doing extra schoolwork. When I went to pick him up at 2:40pm for new pediatrician appointment his eyes were beat red, with bags under them. He had tons of energy built up. The appointment was horrible. He slapped himself 10-15 times in front of the doctor, crawled all over the floor, called me stupid. Dr. Faust finally recommended we go for sensory interrogation testing.
18. 11/02/2007: The morning was great. He got right out of bed and done all of his activities of daily living with-o issues. He did say, I am going to have a good day today. He was very hopeful. When I picked him up the first thing he said was I got on yellow today. I told him good job, high five. He was very proud. Later when I went through his backpack his behavior slip, which is enclosed states that it was not a good day at all. He misbehaved, but obviously not reason to send to principal. She listed that he was falling out of his chair, speaking out while on the carpet (reading and story time), he kicked a boy in the leg the last hour of the day and she wrote Not a good day. Not sure they are being clear to Andrew what the standards are since he was clearly proud of himself for the day. Possibly, they just didnt want to have to send him back to the principal???? Does not make a lot of sense since things clearly have to be laid out simply for the ODD child. To top everything off, I found out today that our $300.00 premium a month insurance will not cover neuropsychologist evaluations nor sensory interrogation testing."
I AM NOT EASILY PUT OFF BY OTHERS INPUT. i beg for assistance. again, i dont know what the hell i am doing. i am doing the best i can do with teh knowledge i have. that is why i am constantly striving for new knowledge.
thanks in advance. without you guys...i would be no where.
so...since i have no money because of the co-pays for our pediatrician and psychologist (weekly)...,i have to have teh public pay for teh testing. the school will not cut him a friggin break..they are triggering him... i am so enraged with them.. I sent the letter yesterday. Not sure what i should be expecting now...or if they are going Occupational Therapist (OT) call me, or what... do you think its a 100% that they will do the evaluation? Or will i have to fight for it? "
what should i be expecting?
they at teh school have started daily behavioral type tracking logs and let me tell you, they are so off...they are setting him up for failure. i have been tracking everything to the best of my knowledge...over time memories do fade, especially ones you dotn want to remember. i am goign to paste everything into this message for you guys to read and let me know what am i doing wrong?, what can i do better? what shoudl i be doing?
History of Behavior
"HISTORY OF BEHAVIOR:
Age 2-4-years-old:
He did sleep and eat well but was very angry and through massive temper tantrums. He would bite, slap, swear. I was not able to let him play safely with other children. He did have strange quirks like not putting bare feet on grass, hands got dirty the world came to an end, as he got older he didnt like certain clothes like if the tags scratched him in the back, or if the pants were long enough list goes on
Daycares:
Andrew attended three different daycares between ages 3 and 4 before we found one that we were comfortable with. He did not have any trouble or bad remarks from any of them.
Preschool:
Andrew started going to preschool at age four at our local elementary school. The entire year was horrible. I should have kept all the documents and behavior slips but I did not. He disrupted the entire class all year long and his teachers were pulling their hair out with him. I had many meetings with the teachers and principals over Andrews behavior.
Finally, after the school year had ended our pediatrician Dr. Richmond set Andrew up with an appointment to meet with a child psychologist through Burrell. We as a family met with the counselor once a week for 3 months. She stated many times that he showed symptoms of ODD but was not seeing any ADHD. We were taught the importance of consistent parenting, time-outs, reward systems, 1-2-3 Magic, and using behavior charts. We were very pleased with our progress and Andrew responded rapidly to the positive disciplining techniques. Overall, I felt we, as parents had been the biggest problem in not being consistent with Andrew.
Kindergarten began.
On the third day, we received a call from the principal stating that Andrew and another boy (which happened to be our next-door neighbor) had been throwing rocks outside the school and busted a window. We would have to split the cost to replace the window. Andrew showed no remorse and could not even explain the situation to us when he got home, nor to the principal. After much talk, he did finally confess, but I believe he was under pressure of just wanting us to quit talking about it and leave him alone. We grounded Andrew to his bedroom for the evening. Two days later the principal called and said luckily through a recent inspection they realized the window had been documented as being cracked prior so we did not have to cover the cost of the window. Overall, the rest of the kindergarten year went fairly smooth. As I recall he had one or two incidents with other children being aggressive and had to sit in the principals office for a time. We were very pleased at the end of the year with all of his academics and were relieved to think he was finally growing up.
Summer after kindergarten:
Over the summer, Andrew started new habits of stealing and lying. He stole from gas stations, Wal-Mart, even his own grandfather. We finally got Andrew to confess and apologize to each individual thinking the humility would take effect. Still no remorse. He had a few fights and mishaps with neighbor kids throughout the summer, each time either denying it and blaming it on someone else, or owning up to it and saying, I dont care. He was however very excited to start a new school year. Another new thing that manifested was the seams of his socks, which seems like a spoiled, wanting to get what I want situation, but he took it way further than that. It has turned into a 20-minute process of getting it socks straight lined up with his toes to be able to put the shoes on, or we were not going anywhere.
First grade.
On the very first day, I asked his teacher (Ms. Phillips) how his day had went. She said Not bad, although he did punch a girl in the stomach today. The list goes on:
1. I let one week go by before asking the teacher again about his daily events. She mentioned that he was not paying attention and very disrespectful in class. She explained to me her classroom discipline, which is that each child starts on green for the day, then drops to yellow when misbehaving, then to pink, down to red. They do however get the chance of earning themselves back up the color wheel for good behaviors during the same day. If a child was able to remain on green all week the reward is to eat lunch with the teacher in her classroom. I began to ask Andrew everyday what color he got on. He was telling me green, yellow so I assumed everything was going to be fine. Then the calls started. Ms. Phillips called me and said that Andrew had been caught misguiding a younger student outside the building as a joke, but did let him back in. She said it was dangerous and she could not have him endangering other students. I agreed. She said he had been nonstop misbehaving since school started. I explained that I had been unaware since Andrew was obviously lying to me about the colors he had been getting on. She said he had not been off red since school started. I asked that she either call me or send a note home to confirm his color, and if he is on red, I will ground him to his room. I was sure after a couple of times Andrew would try to do better. I explained the rules to Andrew and he was well aware of the consequences of his actions.
2. About another week passed by and still had not heard a word from the teacher about Andrew, then a call. She had enough of Andrews name calling, lack of discipline, lack of conscious, talking out, being disrespectful, ignoring instructions and that she wanted to have a conference with the principal and Andrew. During the conference (which his father attended with him as I was in Urgent Care for a sickness), she had expressed Andrews problems, his father apologized and asked many times what we should be doing to help, with no answers. The principal mentioned that Andrew has a history of being difficult in the beginning of the school year and then he just gets over it, so that we should just hope for the best.
3. Finally, Ms. Phillips decided the color wheel was not working for Andrew. He expressed very openly that he did not care about the colors. She decided to start sending daily behavioral charts home. I only received two in approximately a week. So that really was not very consistent either.
4. Andrew at about the 3rd week of school starting showing massive behavioral changes at home: constantly arguing, not wanting to go to school, stating that Ms. Phillips did not like him. Has had many bouts of diarrhea and vomiting sporadically like anxiety and complaining of stomachaches.
5. 10/04/2007: Call from principal. Had to get Andrew from school. Suspended for 24 hours for throwing a pencil at a classmate hitting him just below the eye. Andrew said that the other child had thrown it first and he was just throwing it back. I was grateful just hearing Andrew have an explanation. I had a meeting with the principal over the incident and to let him know that I thought Andrew needed some type of intervention of sorts and that we were going to set him up with Burrell. I told the principal that we were seeing increasing problems with his anxiety and depression at home by not wanting to go to school and not liking his teacher. The principal just tried to reassure me that he is not that bad yet, they have not given up on him and that he just seems defiant.
6. We started seeing another psychologist at Burrell to try to help Andrew release or learn to release anxiety and frustration without hurting other children.
7. Andrew got into a fistfight with a neighbor boy on a Sunday afternoon as we were putting up Halloween decorations as a family. Once we were able to break up the fight Andrew took it upon himself to run into his room and slam the door screaming, I am never coming out. He was obviously upset and could not deal with the emotions he was experiencing.
8. 10/19/2007. Andrews teacher removed him from an assembly for bending over and crawling around trying to get a little girls lost bracelet. Around 11:30 a.m., Andrew was made to call me to let me know he had broken 12 of his classmates pencils and that I would have to buy more to replace them. He was not able to tell me why he had done this. Then after school, the teacher had my 9-year-old daughter hold Andrews hand to my car since he had been acting up so badly, clearly trying to humiliate him. After school, I called Ms. Phillips and told her I did not think his attitude was getting better at all and that he was showing depressive symptoms and that I wanted him transferred to another class.
9. 10/22/2007. Had meeting with principal, he agreed to move him but not that day. We took Andrew home for the day. In our conference, I again begged for some information on what I should be doing as a parent. I asked if he thought he should be tested for special classes? Again, was reassured that Andrew was fine.
10. 10/23/2007. Had a fine day with his new teacher and classmates.
11. 10/24/2007. Still nothing to report upon by new teacher.
12. 10/25/2007. At one oclock p.m., call from secretary. Andrew had hit, slapped and kicked four students that day and since the principal was out, Andrew had to be removed from the school.
13. 10/26/2007. Andrew was in ISS from 8:15 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. for the prior incident. At 1:00 p.m., Andrew was sent back to the principals office for punching a kid in the hall on the way to music. Still when asked why he done these things because I felt like it. Principal kept him in ISS for the rest of the day. After school principal called and asked to move him back to his original class. Over the weekend we implemented a new rewards program using these huge fake $100 bills. If we notice something positive and wonderful about our kids, we will give them one. As soon as they have 10 of them, we will take them to Wal-Mart or anywhere for that matter to buy them what they want. We cannot take them back, they cant give them back. Once you earn them, they are yours permanently. We also made new chore charts that are a lot simpler made homemade out of glue, construction paper, felt, puff pain and popsicle sticks. Trying to give kids new perspective to earning and a feeling of being truly important in our family.
14. 10/29/2007. Back to Ms. Phillips class using an independent behavior slip that Andrew monitors himself hourly, approval from teacher with a star or checkmark. Okay day overall.
15. 10/30/2007. Okay behavior report. Still a couple of outbursts like inappropriate words.
16. 10/31/2007. Principal called at 12:30, Andrew hit a girl in the face with a fruit rollup at lunch. Sent to ISS for rest of the day and will have to spend all day tomorrow there as well. Principal stated that Andrew had no idea why he had done what he did but that he finally had gotten him to cry and felt like he was actually getting somewhere with him because he had never cried to him before. He said that Andrew wanted him to call his mom. When Andrew came home from school, he immediately went to the bathroom. He started complaining of a stomachache and said that he had not been able to go to the bathroom the whole time he was in ISS. I tried not to buy into the excuse too much. I explained to Andrew that he could just ask anyone to be able to go, and that it was nonsense. He made it very difficult by not even wanting to go trick or treating. I believe this was his anxiety. P.S. He tried throwing all of his earned fake dollars back at us. He has 5 at this point. Really trying to find awesome things he is doing to give them to him.
17. 11/01/2007: He woke up in a horrible mood, barely got his clothes on and ate he did not want to go to school knowing he had ISS. He sat the entire day in a cubical inside the principals office doing extra schoolwork. When I went to pick him up at 2:40pm for new pediatrician appointment his eyes were beat red, with bags under them. He had tons of energy built up. The appointment was horrible. He slapped himself 10-15 times in front of the doctor, crawled all over the floor, called me stupid. Dr. Faust finally recommended we go for sensory interrogation testing.
18. 11/02/2007: The morning was great. He got right out of bed and done all of his activities of daily living with-o issues. He did say, I am going to have a good day today. He was very hopeful. When I picked him up the first thing he said was I got on yellow today. I told him good job, high five. He was very proud. Later when I went through his backpack his behavior slip, which is enclosed states that it was not a good day at all. He misbehaved, but obviously not reason to send to principal. She listed that he was falling out of his chair, speaking out while on the carpet (reading and story time), he kicked a boy in the leg the last hour of the day and she wrote Not a good day. Not sure they are being clear to Andrew what the standards are since he was clearly proud of himself for the day. Possibly, they just didnt want to have to send him back to the principal???? Does not make a lot of sense since things clearly have to be laid out simply for the ODD child. To top everything off, I found out today that our $300.00 premium a month insurance will not cover neuropsychologist evaluations nor sensory interrogation testing."
I AM NOT EASILY PUT OFF BY OTHERS INPUT. i beg for assistance. again, i dont know what the hell i am doing. i am doing the best i can do with teh knowledge i have. that is why i am constantly striving for new knowledge.
thanks in advance. without you guys...i would be no where.
