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Potential Sociopathic behaviour of a 12 yr old
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 622607" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>The fact that he has a stable family, at least in YOUR house when he visits YOU, does not negate the fact that his first three years WERE chaotic. In fact a major loss of either parent in the home in the first three years can be a cause of attachment disorder. And he was introduced to new people early on so he did not have lots of stability during a time when the brain is developing quickly. And it doesn't sound like his mother's house has ever been stable for him and it also sounds like he is in her care more than yours. Not good.</p><p></p><p>I don't know which country you live in. In the US, a mother can not keep a father away from his child. There are courts that will take care of that. I don't know if it is the same in your country. Some fathers don't want to fight with Mom so they let her call the shots, but your husband probably could have seen his child if he'd fought for that right. I'm assuming that even now this child is going back and forth from you to mom's house and does not have one place to hang his hat.</p><p></p><p>I do not know if he has attachment disorder or attachment problems or not. Nobody wants to think it is because it is very hard to treat. These kids are the hardest ones to deal with and do not seem to have a conscience or care about anyone else. Sometimes they don't seem to even like us unless they want something from us, such as money for a toy. They can get violent. Some, if sexually abused, get sexual with other kids. But not all of them. All depends. I'm going to post a link and you can decide if you think there is something there or not. It's really up to you two to decide what to do. It's always good to know what you're dealing with, however. ODD sounds way too mild for his behavior and it is not a stand alone diagnosis. All the kids who come here start out with ODD behavior, but that is not usually their main problem. The attachment challenged children tend to behave like little antisocial personality disordered adults and, without hardcore treatment, can grow up to be one. Treatment is CRITICAL. The right kind of treatment...if he has it they do not respond to typical psychological methods or parenting methods, such as rewards/punishments. You'd need a specialist.</p><p></p><p>Ok, here's the link. Read it and form your own opinion. I am sorry you are going through this, but it sounds like both mom and dad turned this kid's early life into Chaos City. He is lucky to have you.</p><p></p><p><a href="http://strugglingteens.com/archives/2000/6/oe03.html" target="_blank">http://strugglingteens.com/archives/2000/6/oe03.html</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 622607, member: 1550"] The fact that he has a stable family, at least in YOUR house when he visits YOU, does not negate the fact that his first three years WERE chaotic. In fact a major loss of either parent in the home in the first three years can be a cause of attachment disorder. And he was introduced to new people early on so he did not have lots of stability during a time when the brain is developing quickly. And it doesn't sound like his mother's house has ever been stable for him and it also sounds like he is in her care more than yours. Not good. I don't know which country you live in. In the US, a mother can not keep a father away from his child. There are courts that will take care of that. I don't know if it is the same in your country. Some fathers don't want to fight with Mom so they let her call the shots, but your husband probably could have seen his child if he'd fought for that right. I'm assuming that even now this child is going back and forth from you to mom's house and does not have one place to hang his hat. I do not know if he has attachment disorder or attachment problems or not. Nobody wants to think it is because it is very hard to treat. These kids are the hardest ones to deal with and do not seem to have a conscience or care about anyone else. Sometimes they don't seem to even like us unless they want something from us, such as money for a toy. They can get violent. Some, if sexually abused, get sexual with other kids. But not all of them. All depends. I'm going to post a link and you can decide if you think there is something there or not. It's really up to you two to decide what to do. It's always good to know what you're dealing with, however. ODD sounds way too mild for his behavior and it is not a stand alone diagnosis. All the kids who come here start out with ODD behavior, but that is not usually their main problem. The attachment challenged children tend to behave like little antisocial personality disordered adults and, without hardcore treatment, can grow up to be one. Treatment is CRITICAL. The right kind of treatment...if he has it they do not respond to typical psychological methods or parenting methods, such as rewards/punishments. You'd need a specialist. Ok, here's the link. Read it and form your own opinion. I am sorry you are going through this, but it sounds like both mom and dad turned this kid's early life into Chaos City. He is lucky to have you. [url]http://strugglingteens.com/archives/2000/6/oe03.html[/url] [/QUOTE]
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