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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 753559" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>JP. The reality is that this scenario doesn't work for me either. I am not a better person. I am only without any good options. M and I do 99 percent. My son, less than 1 percent. There is constant conflict between M and I because my son plays us against each other, and we get so confused we turn on each other.</p><p></p><p>The way I'm thinking now, I'll just try to get through the biopsy my son has scheduled for next week, and then rethink this. No able-bodied and able-minded adult should be carried. And that's what is happening here.</p><p></p><p>My son is not deciding to do the right thing. He may never. What you are saying is true. It's one thing to be the guiding light. It's another thing when our kids use the illumination to take advantage and intermittently take a bat to the light bulb.</p><p></p><p>I can see my son gradually gaining in strength and finding his goodness. But he is not a bit changed in finding direction or living purposefully. I have stood this because I've gotten a lot of help from M. But the price has become too high. He is hysterical and angry all of the time. I don't have the confidence I can handle my son alone. I used to. I don't know if I can now.</p><p></p><p>I don't think what I wrote is wrong. A time may come for you where your children permit you to have more of a role in their lives.</p><p></p><p>I am between a rock and a hard place. If my son's illness has taken a turn for the worst, what can I do? Permit him to die a slow painful death in the street, instead of supporting him to stabilize and to take care of himself? And then, if he's still okay, G-d willing, do I help him stabilize so he can take the medicine that could save his life, or do I kick him out again? </p><p></p><p>I kicked out my son 8 years ago. Had I kept him here could I have saved his life? If I kept him here could I have prevented him from falling as he has? Could I still? Should I?</p><p></p><p>When I came to this site I believed that tough love could save my son. It didn't. </p><p></p><p>Some parents can close the door. I can't. I adopted an infant who'd already suffered what most adults have not experienced. I think I have some kind of responsibility here. At the same time I agree completely with you. I can't do it, either. I am between a rock and a hard place.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 753559, member: 18958"] JP. The reality is that this scenario doesn't work for me either. I am not a better person. I am only without any good options. M and I do 99 percent. My son, less than 1 percent. There is constant conflict between M and I because my son plays us against each other, and we get so confused we turn on each other. The way I'm thinking now, I'll just try to get through the biopsy my son has scheduled for next week, and then rethink this. No able-bodied and able-minded adult should be carried. And that's what is happening here. My son is not deciding to do the right thing. He may never. What you are saying is true. It's one thing to be the guiding light. It's another thing when our kids use the illumination to take advantage and intermittently take a bat to the light bulb. I can see my son gradually gaining in strength and finding his goodness. But he is not a bit changed in finding direction or living purposefully. I have stood this because I've gotten a lot of help from M. But the price has become too high. He is hysterical and angry all of the time. I don't have the confidence I can handle my son alone. I used to. I don't know if I can now. I don't think what I wrote is wrong. A time may come for you where your children permit you to have more of a role in their lives. I am between a rock and a hard place. If my son's illness has taken a turn for the worst, what can I do? Permit him to die a slow painful death in the street, instead of supporting him to stabilize and to take care of himself? And then, if he's still okay, G-d willing, do I help him stabilize so he can take the medicine that could save his life, or do I kick him out again? I kicked out my son 8 years ago. Had I kept him here could I have saved his life? If I kept him here could I have prevented him from falling as he has? Could I still? Should I? When I came to this site I believed that tough love could save my son. It didn't. Some parents can close the door. I can't. I adopted an infant who'd already suffered what most adults have not experienced. I think I have some kind of responsibility here. At the same time I agree completely with you. I can't do it, either. I am between a rock and a hard place. [/QUOTE]
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