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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 563149" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>AG whatever you do we will all support you, you know that. This community knows the chaos we all live with and the awful decisions we are forced to make. Susie has many good points. I got one of those responses from her at one point and after I picked myself up off the floor and started breathing again I got it. She is like our conscience, in hindsight we know what to do but we are afraid to do it. </p><p></p><p>I am very very torn here. On one hand I completely get that you want to do everything you can to help him get into treatment. On the other hand if he wants treatment he should be doing the work. It does not sound like he is serious about treatment or he would go back to the original place and either make it work or wait for a bed elsewhere. </p><p></p><p>Can you ask the prosecutor or judge to keep him in jail until a bed is available? If you don't bail him out they won't release him will they? If you explain that he was in treatment and relapsed and that is the cause of his current trouble I would be surprised if they didn't work with you. Keeping him hidden away in a cheap hotel is not going to keep him from drinking. And if he does drink so what? It's not the end of the world. My difficult child went our the night before going into treatment for one last fling. While husband and I were mortified and very angry the treatment center was use to that.</p><p></p><p>What are the consequences of bringing him home for a few days until a bed opens? If he runs he runs. Then you will have your answer. He will be choosing homelessness. What if you pay for a hotel room for him for a few days and leave him there? Then he is truly making the decision himself whether to go to treatment.</p><p></p><p>In the end this has to be his journey and I'm just afraid that you are more invested in this than he is. I certainly was with my difficult child. She wanted to get sober for me and that is not a good reason and that is why she is relapsed now.</p><p></p><p>We are all behind you no matter what you do and don't be afraid to say what you are thinking, we may not always tell you what you want to hear but we all want the same result.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 563149, member: 59"] AG whatever you do we will all support you, you know that. This community knows the chaos we all live with and the awful decisions we are forced to make. Susie has many good points. I got one of those responses from her at one point and after I picked myself up off the floor and started breathing again I got it. She is like our conscience, in hindsight we know what to do but we are afraid to do it. I am very very torn here. On one hand I completely get that you want to do everything you can to help him get into treatment. On the other hand if he wants treatment he should be doing the work. It does not sound like he is serious about treatment or he would go back to the original place and either make it work or wait for a bed elsewhere. Can you ask the prosecutor or judge to keep him in jail until a bed is available? If you don't bail him out they won't release him will they? If you explain that he was in treatment and relapsed and that is the cause of his current trouble I would be surprised if they didn't work with you. Keeping him hidden away in a cheap hotel is not going to keep him from drinking. And if he does drink so what? It's not the end of the world. My difficult child went our the night before going into treatment for one last fling. While husband and I were mortified and very angry the treatment center was use to that. What are the consequences of bringing him home for a few days until a bed opens? If he runs he runs. Then you will have your answer. He will be choosing homelessness. What if you pay for a hotel room for him for a few days and leave him there? Then he is truly making the decision himself whether to go to treatment. In the end this has to be his journey and I'm just afraid that you are more invested in this than he is. I certainly was with my difficult child. She wanted to get sober for me and that is not a good reason and that is why she is relapsed now. We are all behind you no matter what you do and don't be afraid to say what you are thinking, we may not always tell you what you want to hear but we all want the same result. [/QUOTE]
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