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Pregnant 30 year old
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 724318" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Have you ever actually met any of her boyfriends? Seen any of them be violent with her? How strong is her relationship with the truth? Do you trust her to tell you the truth all the time? I am not sure she isn't lying to you about the guy hitting her. Or about her not being the one to hit him first. I am not saying it is right for him to hit her, just that mutual combat is not the same as being with an abusive man, especially when the man is defending himself. </p><p></p><p>So you don't necessarily know that the baby would be worse off with the father. It could be that he threw her out for coming at him with a knife like she did with you. Then she made up a story about him hitting her and even hit herself to fake the bruises if you saw any. </p><p></p><p>Do NOT allow her to stay in your home!!!!!! I don't really care how sweet she is. She has stolen your savings to take a trip. She has held a knife on you. She has destroyed your home to the point you had to move. This won't change. She got pregnant because she thought you would have to let her stay. Take her to one of those Christian places that helps pregnant unwed mothers. They will help her. If she pulls her nonsense, they will do what needs to be done - they will cut her loose. Tell your daughter that you won't EVER let her live in your home. If she wants to see you, you will meet her somewhere, but her visit is over and she needs to leave. Pack her stuff and put it outside. If she starts saying that she was there to stay, tell her that you never agreed to that and she has overstayed her visit. She needs to go and make her way in the world. She has a child to think of and she needs to figure out how to support it. </p><p></p><p>She CHOSE to get pregnant and she can choose to figure out how to support herself and her child. You owe her nothing. You gave birth to her and raised her, gave her a good childhood. That is over. She is no longer a child. </p><p></p><p>Read the article on detachment. Get a copy of Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie and read it. Your daughter can choose to act in different ways, but so far she gets what she wants by acting the way she does. It is time to show her that her actions don't work any longer. The sweet behavior is wearing off, so it is time for her to go. </p><p></p><p>I think 2 weeks is long enough for her to take a break from her life. Now she has to go out and figure out how she will support her baby. As for germs from working as a hotel maid? They will strengthen her immune system and make her baby stronger. The stress of working in a burger place? She will get free meals and a paycheck and it will build up her stamina for labor and delivery. Trust me, any argument she has, there is a comeback. She is far better off out there where she has to do something, in a shelter where she has to figure something out than under your roof where she is free to do nothing. It is just better for her growth and development. You are holding her back by letting her live in your home. As her parents, it is your job to make her go out and launch into the world for good. Especially now that she has a child coming. If she cannot figure out how to support a child, then she needs to figure that out now so she knows to give her child up when it is born. </p><p></p><p>Right now she thinks she has you right where she wants you. Shake up her world and toss her out. Tell her it is for her own good and if she shrieks at you, walk away. If she bangs on your door, call 911. Tell them you have a disturbance and you need to have someone removed from your home. You have a guest that won't quit screaming and you need an ambulance to take her for an evaluation. Then take her stuff to the hospital and tell her not to come back. If she shows up back at your home, don't open the door. Call the cops to have her removed. I am at least 1000% certain you should do this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 724318, member: 1233"] Have you ever actually met any of her boyfriends? Seen any of them be violent with her? How strong is her relationship with the truth? Do you trust her to tell you the truth all the time? I am not sure she isn't lying to you about the guy hitting her. Or about her not being the one to hit him first. I am not saying it is right for him to hit her, just that mutual combat is not the same as being with an abusive man, especially when the man is defending himself. So you don't necessarily know that the baby would be worse off with the father. It could be that he threw her out for coming at him with a knife like she did with you. Then she made up a story about him hitting her and even hit herself to fake the bruises if you saw any. Do NOT allow her to stay in your home!!!!!! I don't really care how sweet she is. She has stolen your savings to take a trip. She has held a knife on you. She has destroyed your home to the point you had to move. This won't change. She got pregnant because she thought you would have to let her stay. Take her to one of those Christian places that helps pregnant unwed mothers. They will help her. If she pulls her nonsense, they will do what needs to be done - they will cut her loose. Tell your daughter that you won't EVER let her live in your home. If she wants to see you, you will meet her somewhere, but her visit is over and she needs to leave. Pack her stuff and put it outside. If she starts saying that she was there to stay, tell her that you never agreed to that and she has overstayed her visit. She needs to go and make her way in the world. She has a child to think of and she needs to figure out how to support it. She CHOSE to get pregnant and she can choose to figure out how to support herself and her child. You owe her nothing. You gave birth to her and raised her, gave her a good childhood. That is over. She is no longer a child. Read the article on detachment. Get a copy of Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie and read it. Your daughter can choose to act in different ways, but so far she gets what she wants by acting the way she does. It is time to show her that her actions don't work any longer. The sweet behavior is wearing off, so it is time for her to go. I think 2 weeks is long enough for her to take a break from her life. Now she has to go out and figure out how she will support her baby. As for germs from working as a hotel maid? They will strengthen her immune system and make her baby stronger. The stress of working in a burger place? She will get free meals and a paycheck and it will build up her stamina for labor and delivery. Trust me, any argument she has, there is a comeback. She is far better off out there where she has to do something, in a shelter where she has to figure something out than under your roof where she is free to do nothing. It is just better for her growth and development. You are holding her back by letting her live in your home. As her parents, it is your job to make her go out and launch into the world for good. Especially now that she has a child coming. If she cannot figure out how to support a child, then she needs to figure that out now so she knows to give her child up when it is born. Right now she thinks she has you right where she wants you. Shake up her world and toss her out. Tell her it is for her own good and if she shrieks at you, walk away. If she bangs on your door, call 911. Tell them you have a disturbance and you need to have someone removed from your home. You have a guest that won't quit screaming and you need an ambulance to take her for an evaluation. Then take her stuff to the hospital and tell her not to come back. If she shows up back at your home, don't open the door. Call the cops to have her removed. I am at least 1000% certain you should do this. [/QUOTE]
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