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<blockquote data-quote="lambsear2" data-source="post: 150018" data-attributes="member: 5136"><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">My son has been participating in behavior modification programs since he was 6yo. As he approached 12 yo and he was quickly going down hill. I had asked a child psychiatric what do we do after rewards charts? His answer was to work with consequences. </span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">I agree with Christy that reward/consequences will only be successful with a child that has a moral compass, empathy and desire to please ones parents (ie which can be translated into a form of motivation). The additional influences of impulsiveness and self-serving nature will further exacerbate the situation. If your child is ODD you can add the defiant, angry and coniving nature in. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">Like Trinity- my child spent 18 months at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) (from age 14-16). It was the best option that we could use to help difficult child. We could not reach him and we could not control him. The program was intensive 24/7 and was a full lock down facility. I asked the team resident how do you reach these kids. His answer was that it was thru constant (daily) repetition, quick and swift consequences & clear and concise rules of conduct/responsibilities and dont forget 24/7 supervision. Additionally programs were provided for group/indidual couneling, victim awareness, drug/alchol education etc.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">When difficult child returned home, he was diffused. He was no longer stalking the house looking for a fight and did not seem always angry with us/ the world. He continues to suffer from the traits of ADD/ODD and has no sense of values/morals (lack of affect they call it) or otherwise he has no particular concern for others and is generally focused on how can he accquire what he feel he needs. His only apparant motiviation is self perservation.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">However, the question is still, how do you get desired behavior/ action/ activity from you difficult child? Can he/she be prepared for the world and its concequences/responsibilites? How long does it take for difficult child to learn a desired trait? How do you motivate difficult child to emulate the values/morals that they are missing?</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">With ADD the executive funchtions which affect appropriate decision making ability is impared. difficult child is often motiviated by how to get what he wants NOW and not consider what will be the the effect later. (such as doing school work, the consequece at the end of the year is just too far away for him to consider)</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">difficult child is hard headed, stubborn and often affected by the ODD. He appears to be willingly choosing not to do things simply because it is what is expected/asked of him. The point that we are at now, is life consequesnces. At age 16 we feel that he must become more independant and be able to function with less supervion. He needs to learn to make appropriate choices and suffer consequences. He will not take direction from us or any authority figure. We cannot figure out any other thing to do besides let him suffer the consequeces. No job/work/chores = no money. If he does not do his school work = summer school & repeat the grade next year. Cutting school/disciple problems/ no homework has resulted in the school filing a PINS application (person in need of supervion) Therefore, we go to the probabtion office tomorrow for the consequences. </span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lambsear2, post: 150018, member: 5136"] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]My son has been participating in behavior modification programs since he was 6yo. As he approached 12 yo and he was quickly going down hill. I had asked a child psychiatric what do we do after rewards charts? His answer was to work with consequences. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]I agree with Christy that reward/consequences will only be successful with a child that has a moral compass, empathy and desire to please ones parents (ie which can be translated into a form of motivation). The additional influences of impulsiveness and self-serving nature will further exacerbate the situation. If your child is ODD you can add the defiant, angry and coniving nature in. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]Like Trinity- my child spent 18 months at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) (from age 14-16). It was the best option that we could use to help difficult child. We could not reach him and we could not control him. The program was intensive 24/7 and was a full lock down facility. I asked the team resident how do you reach these kids. His answer was that it was thru constant (daily) repetition, quick and swift consequences & clear and concise rules of conduct/responsibilities and dont forget 24/7 supervision. Additionally programs were provided for group/indidual couneling, victim awareness, drug/alchol education etc.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]When difficult child returned home, he was diffused. He was no longer stalking the house looking for a fight and did not seem always angry with us/ the world. He continues to suffer from the traits of ADD/ODD and has no sense of values/morals (lack of affect they call it) or otherwise he has no particular concern for others and is generally focused on how can he accquire what he feel he needs. His only apparant motiviation is self perservation.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]However, the question is still, how do you get desired behavior/ action/ activity from you difficult child? Can he/she be prepared for the world and its concequences/responsibilites? How long does it take for difficult child to learn a desired trait? How do you motivate difficult child to emulate the values/morals that they are missing?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]With ADD the executive funchtions which affect appropriate decision making ability is impared. difficult child is often motiviated by how to get what he wants NOW and not consider what will be the the effect later. (such as doing school work, the consequece at the end of the year is just too far away for him to consider)[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]difficult child is hard headed, stubborn and often affected by the ODD. He appears to be willingly choosing not to do things simply because it is what is expected/asked of him. The point that we are at now, is life consequesnces. At age 16 we feel that he must become more independant and be able to function with less supervion. He needs to learn to make appropriate choices and suffer consequences. He will not take direction from us or any authority figure. We cannot figure out any other thing to do besides let him suffer the consequeces. No job/work/chores = no money. If he does not do his school work = summer school & repeat the grade next year. Cutting school/disciple problems/ no homework has resulted in the school filing a PINS application (person in need of supervion) Therefore, we go to the probabtion office tomorrow for the consequences. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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