Problem with Cory on job...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DammitJanet, Mar 8, 2012.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I knew this was going to happen when Tony hired Buck to go work with them. Knew it with every fiber of my being. Tony has been telling me for months now that Cory has been doing well at work. No major issues. His attitude has been so much better than it has ever been in years past and he was so impressed. Of course, Cory isnt perfect and Tony has his own personality issues when it comes to dealing with Cory.

    Well, ever since Buck started working there...now 3 weeks, all I hear is how Cory is mouthy. Cory wont listen. Cory cusses. Then Buck starts in on how he is trying to "help" Cory and he is talking to him at work about his issues. I have point blank told Buck to stay the hell out of things. Cory is a grown man and doesnt need his help. Tony lied to their boss and told him that Buck had more experience than he does so Buck got hired on at $13 an hour. Cory is only making $9. That is really upsetting Cory. Cory is doing more work than Buck. Buck cant read a tape, cant read blueprints, cant follow directions correctly, etc. The only thing he does do is not cuss. At least for the immediate time. This wasnt always his MO. For years he was nothing but a homeless junkie bum but now he feels he can tell Cory how much better he is than him. You can imagine how well that goes over to Cory. It doesnt help that Tony is siding with Buck. It is ticking me off that Tony is siding with Buck too.

    I called Tony at lunch time today to tell him to have him and Buck eat on the way home because I wasnt cooking anything considering my mouth issues. He told me he almost fired Cory today because of his mouth running off at Buck. That Buck was mad.

    I hate to say this but if he fires Cory, I will call the law and have Buck evicted even if Tony doesnt like it. As of today, Buck will have had two paychecks from this job, has received his federal tax return, now received a food stamp card with money on it. He has paid us nothing at all. He should have upwards of at least $1500 saved up since he is buying nothing except cigarettes and his lunches at work and most of the time he takes food from my house to eat for lunch so I am providing that too.

    Buck has broken almost everything he touches at my house. He has ripped down the shower curtain, completely broken the brand new coffee pot Billy and I bought Tony for Xmas, shattered two of my brand new pyrex bowls I just bought, and I am missing 5 plates and 3 bowls. Right now in my kitchen there are 3 plates and 2 plastic bowls for all of us to eat off of. Billy and I cant find any others. I do have some I have had put up for the last 8 months but I am not bringing them back out. I have bought paper plates.

    I am so ready for him to go. I have told Tony that there is going to be an explosion in the very near future but Tony says Buck needs to get a car before he can move. I say BS. He can get a place to live first and then get a bike or whatever. We are not required to put up with him until he gets his entire life settled. That wasnt the plan.
     
  2. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I'd be steaming mad and both of them would be getting an earful on arrival, maybe with a supersoaker to shut them up if they tried to interrupt before I was done. Cory is doing his best and now this loafer is going to screw it up for him.
     
  3. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    :hugs: I have no better solutions, but I do understand... I had a similar issue with husband's business partner a few years back. But not nearly as bad. Sigh.
     
  4. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm just stunned that Tony cannot see what is going on here, and I don't get why he is so bent on defending Buck. Buck is pitting you against each other, and now including Cory in the mix, and that should NOT be allowed. I'm sorry that things continue to be so bad, Janet.
     
  5. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Sounds like Buck is taking the " Holier than thou" attitude with Cory ... He needs to shut the he** up !!!! IMVHO
     
  6. keista

    keista New Member

    Can someone clue me in? I missed the chapter "Who is Buck?"

    Regardless of who he is, he sounds very toxic. Time to start figuring out realistic ways of extricating him. Since he's getting Tony wrapped, the direct approach is not going to work.
     
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Good grief!

    I know you have mobility issues. But I swear to all that is holy, that Buck dude would have long been running from my house, or been hauled away in a straight jacket while blabbering jibberish. Buck would know for certain it was me, although he'd never be able to prove a thing, I'd come off squeaky........he'd look like a delusional lunatic.

    Yeah, I am that mean when it's necessary. And I am that sneaky and underhanded and manipulative when it's called for. And I wish that I could pick up and come visit you this very moment.........
    Cuz I'd march in the door and declare I've no place to go and you could rescue me. :flirtysmile3: ( I mean technically due to adam and eve we're all related, right? ) And I could make Buck's life a living hell on earth for you and gladly take all the blame. :kickedoutsmile:

    The thing with Tony and Cory peeves me no end because I put up with it for so long with husband and Travis, until I started rubbing it into his face he didn't want to be like his dad was with him! It at least got him to back off for a good long while, until I needed to remind him again.

    Bucks not doing the work required and laying blame at Cory's feet. How much you wanna bet? Ok, no bet, I'd take your money. I'm hoping and betting on Tony's coworkers and BOSS in short order are going to figure out that BUCK is the issue.......and then when those chips fall, how Tony is going to be able to handle it. Because it's gonna happen. I just hope sooner (before it does irreparable damage to Tony's relationship with Cory) rather than later.

    (((hugs))))
     
  8. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Buck is tony's brother who has now twice mooched his way into their home and despite Janet's objections, Tony has allowed him to move in and be rude, use resources, and create privacy and boundary issues.

    How am I doing, Janet???

    He needs to leave.
     
  9. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    When Tony's boss figures out, that Tony led him to believe Buck had more experience than he really does, I bet he won't have much faith in Tony anymore. Also, if things keep getting broken at your house, what is going on at work?
     
  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Hugs, Janet. DDD
     
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yes, Buck is what happens when difficult child's never grow up. If Tony's parents were alive he would be parked in their basement or bedroom but their mother died in 77 and father died in 88 I think. Tony is the third living child. He is also the first one who graduated HS. Buck is actually not related to them and is not legally adopted. Back at that point in time, his mother just gave Buck to Tony's mother and left and nothing else was said. When Buck was 18 he legally changed his name to Tony's last name from his given name. The first 18 years he had a different last name.

    After Buck left HS which was after he failed 12th grade twice...his father made him leave the house because he was doing drugs and not working. Tony's father was no fool. He had kids left at home. So Buck loafed around getting into some of the heavy party drugs of the mid to late 70's then into the 80's. He lived with us in 86 I believe for about 3 months until I almost lost my mind. We were living in North Myrtle Beach then and we found him a little room to rent and a job working as a cook at a restaurant. Notice...I said we did because Buck can never do anything on his own. At that point Buck was arguing with me constantly about how the "white man" did this that and the other to the Indians. I was ready to repeat what he said the white man did and do it to him by the time we got him out. I honestly dont even remember when he left down there but he wasnt there long. He never stayed anywhere long because he got into the drugs and people fired him but to hear him tell it now, he was the best and everyone listened to him and he was top dog. He still talks about that job as if it shows how great a chef he is. I think it was the only job he had cooking.

    Somewhere in time he ended up in California with some girl. San Bernardino I think though he cannot pronounce that word to say his life. He says bertarto. Then at some point he was in Vegas and he has this fascination with Vegas and thinks he is the expert on it. Jamie has been there and wasnt impressed. Well Jamie isnt one for strip clubs or really loud things so I can see Vegas not being his thing. Buck keeps saying how big Vegas is. He says it is bigger than NYC, bigger than LA, bigger than Dallas. I am like no it isnt. I looked up the stats online and showed him. Showed him a picture of the strip and how many hotels and casino's are there. Nope...they lie...lmao. He thinks the real Eiffel Tower is there. Then he goes on and on about how anyone can just walk into any hotel or casino and just eat for free. Any person off the street can just eat and drink for free. I am like Buck, no way are they gonna let just any homeless bum off the street just walk in and eat...no way. Oh yeah...he did it all the time. Well then Buck, I think we should get you a bus ticket out to Vegas! He swears up one side and down the other that you can stay in Vegas for a 3 day weekend for 99 dollars and they will give you free food all day long, free drinks all day long and they will give you $200 in chips. Now I know that isnt true because I checked prices when we thought about the reunion out there. It was gonna cost me and Tony almost $2000 just to go.

    He always knows everything...and then when he doesnt, he starts this stuff where he acts stupid and Tony is convinced that he is too slow to be able to attempt to push anyone's buttons. Like Buck constantly says things when he takes his pills that he is so glad that he doesnt take any psychiatric drugs. At first I let it pass until I found out Tony had told him I take psychiatric medications. Dont tell me he isnt saying that to push my buttons! Then the other day he told me he hurts from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet and he hurts worse than anyone else could possibly hurt but all he ever took was tylenol...and he prayed. God gave him the strength not to need anything else. People who took stronger medications just didnt have faith. Now you tell me that wasnt to push my buttons! I did bite on that one and I turned on him and told him if tylenol worked on him that he didnt have real pain and praying didnt have a damn thing to do with pain levels so he could put that in his pipe and smoke it. Oh...and he is still carving pipes for people to smoke pot...oh whatever they smoke out of it. He calls them native american art. Whatever.
     
  12. keista

    keista New Member

    ((((HUGS)))) Well, if you can't get him out, I'm sure many of us would take you in!

    I hope Tony's eyes open up soon.
     
  13. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Has anyone told Tony that when the boss finds out that TONY lied about Buck's experience to get him paid more and TONY has allowed Buck to be so disruptive at work and argue with everyone (you know he isn't saving that for at home) and mess up so much stuff that it will be TONY that the boss is angry at?? I know quite a few people who own construction companies or who are foremen on construction projects and if a trusted employee brought a relative onto the crew and talked him up to be paid so much and the guy couldn't even read a tape measure and kept messing everything up, the relative would be fired and the BEST the long time employee could hope to have was a demotion or getting pay cut for a few months until they earn some respect back. I know this because it isn't that uncommon. I have listened to the guys complain about how can such a great guy have lied to them when they had to know good and well that the relative couldn't read a blueprint or cut a straight line or that the relative was going to get all the guys on the crew fighting with each other by blaming them for all the mistakes that he made.

    It may well be TONY who loses a job thanks to Buck, and then I think things are going to get really bad. I would be so angry with Tony about his attitude toward Cory, it just isn't fair. Cory seems to be workign really hard to continue to be a good daddy and to help you and to live a good life. That is a heck of a lot more than Buck has ever done.

    I am like Hound, I wish I could come down there and run him off.

    As far as the whole pain medication issue, gee, I guess Buck doesn't really have faith. If faith in God is what takes care of your pain then why did Buck take Tylenol or ANY medications? Is his faith not strong enough to handle the problems? Maybe he should stop taking ALL his medications if he is truly one of the faithful. He is taking medications to keep himself from feeling the pain of whatever health issue they are treating, right? But if faith in God is all that you need to deal with pain, and if people only take medications to deal iwth pain because they don't have real faith, then Buck must either stop taking ALL of his medications and put his faith in God or else he is proving to God taht he doesn't trust God to take care of him.

    I am so sorry that this is so awful. esp with all the mouth agony you are in. Did they give you any medication increase to deal with the dental stuff? Maybe there is some rx strength orajel type medication like what they use on gums before they put the novacaine in with the needle (dentists here use stuff on gums before they give you shots of novacaine)?

    Janet, I sent you a pm and haven't heard back. I just want to make sure you got it, you don't have to reply. I just didn't know if it was received.
     
  14. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Susie I got it but so far I am just now getting able to talk well enough not to cause bleeding again when I talk. I may call you on Monday when everyone is gone again. I am beginning to get some really bad thoughts into my mind which are so not like me at all which make me know that things are beginning to take a really bad turn for the worse. I went into the living room tonight after Tony told me that he was ready to come to bed at 9 oclock and he didnt. We went into the bedroom to get everything ready to go and then he went back out to the living room to sit for another 45 minutes with Buck. That irritated me. I was ready to have him in bed with me. If he had been willing to sit out there, I would have stayed up. I wasnt tired. He said he was. I was working for him. He wanted me gone. So I went back out there and pointed said....so Tony, I am assuming that tomorrow we are all going out to check on the boarding houses right? Tony looked up and said...well, I thought we said not until Buck got a car? I said ooh you said that but I never agreed to that. WE are going out looking for a home first and that WILL be this weekend. I pointedly said that he never worried how Cory got to work so he can just as easily not worry how Buck gets to work. Buck is more than twice cory's age. Seriously...Buck is old enough to be Cory's grandfather if everyone got an early start.
     
  15. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Even the very stupid can learn to be very manipulative. I mean c'mon, look at M..........it takes people a bit to catch on when they don't know him, then it takes a bit for them to have it sink in that he has the brains to do what he does........by then they're ready to take the man's head off. I have a very strong feeling M and Buck would get along great together.

    When he makes the medication comments, you need to start throwing up his druggie days to him. At least your medications are prescribed for actual dxes. When he starts playing his dumb routine, I'd be making some comments some of those drugs he used must've fried some brain cells. With the psychiatric medications, my response would be "I'd shut up if I were you, it's probably all that's keeping you alive" LOL (say it in such a way he can't mistake it for kidding)

    I have no trouble understanding Buck. I've dealt with his kind before, even before M. I'm stumped over Tony's behavior, seriously. I know he's a strong family man and he's got a big heart........but I'm finding it hard to believe he's unable to see the reality here. Any chance Buck is holding something over Tony's head? Since they're "brothers", this could be about anything and go way back into childhood. But I get a sense that either Tony feels like he owes this to Buck (beyond family obligation) or that Buck is holding something over him to keep him cooperating. I'm really finding it hard to swallow that a man who helped raise difficult children is falling hook line and sinker for this stuff.

    Keep pushing him out. I have a feeling if you let them wait for the car, there will pop up some reason he can't possibly drive.......

    ((hugs))
     
  16. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    No problem Janet. You don't have to call, although I would enjoy talking to you at any time. I just wanted to make sure you got it. I have supposedly been having problems with emails and messages not getting to people. NOT on this board, on others. I am sure that I know what, rather who, the problem is, but I wanted to make sure that I didn't have some bug or other making my computer not do what I thought it did. Sorry if that is confusing.
     
  17. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I'll say same prayer for you I do for Mstang.........

    Lord Give my Girlfriend strength - but NOT in her hands.....and since you in da South - and NOT in her foots neither. And Lord? Ifn theys got an axe outside? Can you kindly move it somewheres she can't see it?

    Amen.
     
  18. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks.... I am really trying to put my irritation to good use and turn it against him.

    Today I go out there after my morning programs were interrupted for the college basketball games. Sigh...ick. Oh well. I asked Tony if he would fix me some scrambled eggs with cheese because they are soft enough for me to eat. Buck pipes up with "why do you need to eat soft food?" DUH! Tony actually sounded a bit dumbfounded when he answered him. I mean the first words out of Bucks mouth when he walked in the door last night were that he wanted me to open my mouth so he could see. I refused. I am not his side show. But seriously, does he think I am going to grow teeth over night? I will not be eating food I have to bite into anytime soon. What doesnt he get?

    Lisa...you brought up a point about maybe Buck having something over Tony. That may be a good point. I dont think Buck could have anything but it could be that his other brothers and his sister could be pressuring him and telling him that if he doesnt accept this that they will withdraw their signatures that allowed us to move onto this land. See, we are living on what is known as heir land. The land is in Tony's mothers name and after she died it was never split between her husband and kids. When she died no one wanted it to go to her husband. They wanted it to remain available for her kids so it stayed as heir property of Kathleen XXX. Right now the taxes come to Heir Property of Kathleen XXX in care of Anthony XXX. We moved here in 1990 and the taxes were 3 years behind. Normally Tony's grandmother had been paying them out of the tobacco allotment for this property but when we moved here, Sadie sold the allotment and we took over paying the taxes. We figured eventually we may possibly live here someday and if not, the taxes were less than a hundred bucks a year. Not one of Tony's siblings have ever contributed to the taxes a day in their lives. But when we went to move our trailer on the property they all had to sign that they agreed that we could do so. It is possible that someone is muddying the waters. Now Buck may think he can attempt to pull his signature and be telling Tony he will but Buck has no legal status in this family. At this point, my grown kids are heirs more than he is. Honestly I wish someone would come along and want to buy this strip for a good sum of money so we could force everyone to sell. No one else will ever want to come down here and live.
     
  19. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Tony paid owed back taxes on the land? Three years worth? Do you realize in most states if he were to go through the court, just on that alone, he would be deemed owner of said land? I think I've mentioned this before, but it is especially true with back taxes being paid. My uncle aquired a heap of real estate that way over the years. Now he had morals enough never to take someone's home out from under them, but if he noticed an empty house staying empty for quite some time he'd check the property taxes to see when it was last paid, he'd pay them and petition the court (or whatever it is one does) and the property would be his, new title in his name. Honestly, it would be well worth looking in to as I'm pretty sure most states are the same way.

    That, at the very least, would forever get the worry of other family members off your backs. And Tony, family guy he is, just needs to understand IF they had any interest in the land at all, they'd have been sharing tax payment and living there. They're just hanging on hoping that some day it sells for big bucks and they reap the rewards.
     
  20. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well Tony has always paid them because we have always lived in this county and he didnt want to lose the land. No one else in the family seemed to care back then. Of course, once they figured out that we needed their permission to even move on the land it became so much more interesting to them. Now this is only 8 acres and most of it is swampland so it really isnt worth a whole lot. I think the last tax assessment it was valued at about $11,500. split between 5 people that isnt a whole lot. I refuse to consider Buck and wouldnt give him a cent no matter what anyone says. He isnt legally adopted. I just dont think the other's would sell out to us. I wish they would.

    I may contact the tax office to see about that rule about whoever is paying the taxes having the land because we have been paying it for over 20 years now with no one else stepping in to help at all. Long before we ever moved onto the land. We paid taxes on the land for 10 years before we moved here.
     
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