Problem with Cory on job...

[HaoZi]

O.M.W. I would be dragging out every Ozzy cd and everything like it and playing it at the loudest possible volume by this point. Before the end of the weekend he'd be convinced I would not only sacrifice him, but I would do it in the most painful way possible in the longest amount of time and enjoy every moment. I need a vacation, would you like a visit?

 

[1905]

I'm gonna come visit, too, I can dig a hole and chase him into it!

 

[Hound dog]

You're giving me flashbacks of when M was here.

This was deliberate. And it got the result Buck wanted; you and Tony fighting/not talking. This is what you have to be watchful of.....set ups like this. The man is stupid, but he's good at manipulating and causing trouble. If it had been me.......I'd have ignored Buck's cooking. I'd not have called Tony to verify Buck's story. If you'd been able to do this, you'd have discovered tomorrow that it was the wrong cut of meat. I'd have run out, got what you wanted and gone ahead with the meal as planned and not uttered a sound. If Tony asked about the other cut of meat, you could've calmly referred him to Buck and let it drop.

I know you're not used to having to watch your back, and every move you make, like this in your own home. It's ridiculous and you shouldn't have to.......but as long as Buck is there.....you're going to have to stop and think through every response to his behavior/words ect in order to make it difficult if not impossible to set you up anymore.

This is why I'd hoped it was possible for you to escape to a motel for the weekend. I figured Buck was going to figure out a way to set you up........and with Tony not there, he's none the wiser, and it becomes a he said/she said situation that only makes things worse.

Now we're rational enough to wonder what on earth possessed the man to cook the meat in the first place, especially when he obviously has no cooking skills, let alone a day early..........which of course makes no sense with Tony out of town. But Tony is male, it's going to take longer for that to nag at him until he manages to untangle it.

(((hugs)))

 

[DammitJanet]

Yes you are exactly right. Tony blames me for not being able to keep a civil head. He says he doesnt understand why I cant tolerate any of his family when before Buck came here he very well knew why and supported in my decisions. I actually like Tony's youngest brother and can tolerate him for a few days. I have always been civil to his sister and his other brothers. Cordial might be more the word.

The thing is it isnt just me he is doing these things to. It is also Billy. He is making these same sorts of remarks to Billy about divorce and remarriage to him because of his girlfriend but he is very careful to only do it away from Tony. He got onto me about abortion but out of Tony's earshot. It is apparent that Tony has given him personal information. Buck knows I came from a middle class family so what does he say? That anyone who has the money and was 18 when they had an abortion shouldnt have had an abortion, they could have kept the baby because they had money to raise it! Ok, I admit I bit. I asked him if a dollar bill was going to get up in the night and feed a baby? If a dollar bill was gonna change a baby's diaper? Was a dollar bill gonna cuddle a baby when it was sick? I then asked him just how many kids he actually had and when he had kids he would be in a position to make comments about what people should do about reproduction. Until then to shut the F up. Needless to say I had an abortion once and the doctors advised us to abort Cory. When I had my abortion it simply wasnt the time for me to have a child. Cory was a totally different story. We were going to have him no matter what.

That meat is probably gonna end up trash. I dont know. I tried to make it as good as I could. We didnt have any BBQ sauce in the house though I thought we did. I made it like my mom used to do but he actually questioned me when I was making homemade sauce and said I didnt know what I was doing. I said oh, do you know how? He said no but it wasnt what I was doing...lol. He said I was ruining it. Ok. Whatever. I know when if he named the ingredients to Tony that Tony would recognize them because we used to sing it together. Mustard, paprika, brown sugar and salt. Ketchup, vinegar and Worcestershire sauce. That was my moms recipe. The only thing I didnt have was the worcestershire sauce so I used a little steak sauce. Oh well. But he wouldnt even try to eat until Tony got home at 9:30! I guess so he could complain about me and how awful it was.

The other day I made this awesome pasta dish that was a recipe off the food network that both Billy, Tony and I love. I made a double recipe because he eats so much. He hardly touched it so even though both I had it for lunch and Tony took some for lunch, half of it went to waste. When I asked him why he didnt eat leftovers, he said he had never eaten much pasta other than spaghetti so he wasnt used to any other and really didnt like it. DING! I said well we dont eat spaghetti...we eat other forms even with spaghetti sauce because I cant stand spaghetti noodles.

I made a cake...he hardly ate it until there was hardly anything else to eat. He said it wasnt right. He is awful.

Damn good thing Tony is taking him to look at this place tomorrow. Watch, he wont like it. Im sure he wont. I dont care. It is out of my home and it isnt a box under a bridge. Tony keeps telling me that if he can buy a trailer he can put it on the land here. I said over my dead body. That happens I am pulling my trailer away. I will also fill in the septic tank I put in down there so he has to get a new one and if I move my trailer here, I will fill this one.

 

[buddy]

I like Hound's idea, but it would have been hard. Meat is so expensive even if it is not a good cut. I would have added that I would have gotten only enough of the planned meat for you and Billie.

This man talks about religion but sounds like he needs an exorcism.

 

[1905]

I think Buck is going to blame you for the meat tasting bad. It's crazy! Forget the meat and make a lot of really good and large-portioned sides, serve it all and never mention the meat, or anything about it, or Buck, or cooking it early.........let it all go. It's not worth getting upset over, they can all take it for lunches this week. If you really want to - call Cory and ask him if you can go into his house and cook your own meal for you and your kids. Still, don't discuss or give anyone the satisfaction, or involve yourself in ANY discusion about the meat, remove yourself, Buck is going to try to keep you and Tony mad at each other, do the opposite.

 

[AnnieO]

OK... I don't like corned brisket... I like the plain kind. BUT - you canNOT boil it! OMG how horrible! It has to be marinated for like 24-48 hours then cooked at 200 for about 6 more, up to 400 to brown then cut against the grain and serve and it will be SOOOO tender. But crikeys I don't know if you can fix it after it's been boiled!!!

Janet, do NOT let him undermine you. Next thing, you will be doing something wrong with the puppies. I'm about ready to come down there and beat his (ahem) for you! You already RAISED your difficult children, why do you have to have him too?!

You are a saint.

 

[donna723]

Why is it that even those who don't appear to be very intelligent, those that have pickled their brains with alcohol or drugs for decades, can still be such masters at manipulation and triangulation? Is this just some basic instinct ... like breathing?

Most "normal" people wouldn't see it this way and ignore the details ... like the fact that YOU own the mobile home. But I honestly think that Buck, in his warped, simplistic little mind, wants to see it happen like this: First he makes you as miserable as possible, creating conflict and hostility, setting you and Tony against each other, counting on Tony's loyalty to him. Then when he creates enough hostility and anger, you will leave and it will be just him and Tony in the mobile home. Then, of course, he will soon get "sick" or "injured" and unable to work because a lot is expected of him if he's working with Tony and he's not willing to do that! So then he can just happily spend the rest of his life sitting in front of YOUR TV in YOUR home while Brother Tony works his butt off to support him ... because they're "family", you know! Sooner or later Tony HAS to see this!

 

[DammitJanet]

Donna...that is my key worry exactly. Has been from the start. I have always said that once he got down here we would always be his support network every time he got so much as a hangnail. Tony cant see that at all. He is convinced that once he is on his own...ie...has a car and is in this rooming house, he will be completely self sufficient and he will be able to take care of everything by himself. I ask..so what happens when he loses his job and cant pay his rent. Oh well he should just save up for that and deal with it on his own. What if he doesnt? Well we arent his only family. Excuse me but didnt the rest of them just ship him down here! What happens if he gets hurt or sick and cant work? Oh he can get SSI and get into a disabled housing unit. Hmmm. It took me 3 years to get disability and I dont think he will have 3 years of pay saved up. There is no way I am having him back in here again once he goes. If Tony makes any motions towards that I will put them both out or charge Tony with domestic abuse.

Now we have an issue that I am not sure Tony is putting 2 and 2 together to get to 4. Tony left his keys to his pick up in the truck when he left for the job on friday. yeah bad habit but since we live where we do, he does it quite often. I know they were there on Friday about noon because I was about to go out to the store and my phone was almost dead so I opened the truck door to see if he had my car charger in his truck and his truck beeped at me which meant the keys were in it...but then I remembered he actually had the charger with him in work van so I just shut the truck door and went off in the car. Didnt think anything more about it until this morning when Tony came in and asked me if I knew where his truck key was. Its a single key on a key ring that says "worlds best Grandpa" We gave it to my dad years ago. Now I do have two other sets of keys to the truck but that isnt the point...THIS key is missing which means someone was in that truck sometime between noon on Friday and this morning. Im thinking between Friday afternoon when someone knew I was going to be gone for awhile and they simply forgot to put it back.

Now Tony has searched all his normal places like the kitchen, living room...places he would have put it or it could have possibly fallen out. I wonder where it will turn up.

Right now Tony is convinced I took it when I went in the truck looking for the car charger. I know I didnt. I think I know who did.

 

[Hound dog]

I know we both know who took that key, Janet. And I'm sure he probably took the truck out for a spin while he was at it. If not, he plans to.

Tony is thinking with the pure male mind. In other words, he is reasoning based on what he would do if he found himself in Buck's position. Females instinctively know better, and think outside the box, especially when their livelihood/ home / relationships are at stake. Tony's problem is that he has as yet to realize (whether denial or just plan lying to himself) that buck is nothing like him and has no such plans. Being male, he's going to have to be hit over the head with the fact that Buck is a manipulating moocher (I call him much worse but I'm sure the board censors would just bleep me out) before he believes it.

I'm with you, should be interesting to see where the key turns up. But I'm betting it won't turn up......but will be mysteriously lost forever. Sort of like Mom's keys with Stormy. ugh

 

[HaoZi]

I'll say it again... hidden camera time. No better way to beat someone over the head with truth than with solid evidence. And seems at least one of those cameras should cover the area where the truck is normally parked. Tony needs to SEE and HEAR what truly goes on in his absence (when he's ready for it). I'd be paranoid that Buck is messing around in your room and maybe with your medications, too, given the chance.

 

[1905]

Maybe Billy can get some hidden camera thing from his job for a good price. I think you can get something for $30 that you connect to your computer.

 

[donna723]

Yep, it's time for the hidden cameras or some kind of tape recorder! Is Tony aware of how Buck talks to you, how he is constantly telling you that you're not doing things right, etc. It's time Tony sees it and hears it for himself.

 

[DDD]

Janet the truck issue caught my attention so I thought I'd pass on my detective methods raising so many teens. Don't know if any would work in your case. Depending on the decade and the kid I have done all of the following: (1) I have used a little notebook and recorded the mileage at the end of my driving day and then recorded the mileage at the start of my next driving day. Nailed a few, lol. (2) I have used chalk to mark a specific tires position. In the morning if the bottom mark I made was on the side or top...nailed! (3) The easiest worked for everyone but easy child/difficult child...maybe he heard about it from the adult kids??...anyway the easiest method was to place a piece of chalk right in front of the passenger side tire. In the morning if the chalk was crushed...nailed.

That is a nutshell version of "DDDs Creative Parenting Methods" Chapter: Vehicle Protection. DDD

 

[Hound dog]

If she uses the methods, Janet will know........but I'd hesitate to go to Tony because he's bound (at this point) to decide it's ok for Buck to use a vehicle. But I have a feeling gas prices being what they are....if Tony starts noticing the gas tank getting lower each time he gets in, he's not going to be a happy camper. I'm iffy given his past reactions, how he'd take the part about Buck using a vehicle without permission. If it was her car it'd be easy, she could call the cops (if she woke up and it was gone) and charge him with theft. Tony may not like it, but Buck would be sitting in jail and it wouldn't matter.

 

[donna723]

Janet, did Tony take Buck to look at the room today (or house or apartment or whatever it is)? Just curious about how it went ...

 

[DammitJanet]

As far as I know...No. They came back with the boat on the back of the truck and they havent been anywhere today. I dont think they are going anywhere tomorrow but fishing again. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon so I will attempt to tell him to go then. We shall see. He is complaining about how horrible my bathroom stinks because of Nina pooping in it while she was in there having her babies. He went and bought me a mop, bucket and cleanser to clean it. I am thinking of simply declining to clean it until Buck is gone. I can use the other bathroom too. Its a pain in the butt but I can. Actually my bathroom isnt that bad. I opened the window and aired it out. Yes she pooped, yes it needs cleaning but I can hold my nose and sit on the toilet long enough to pee. His brother bothers me more. Maybe the stench will drive both of them out.