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Problems with 19 Year Old Son
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<blockquote data-quote="PittDoraj" data-source="post: 494568" data-attributes="member: 13500"><p>I cannot tell you how much this forum has helped me cope over the last two days. Thank you all for taking the time to convey your stories and suggestions.</p><p></p><p>I spoke with my sons therapist yesterday for two hours (my son signed the waiver to allow us to share with the therapist). The therapist works for a well established hospital in the Psychiatric Institute, Addiction Medicine Services, Center for Psychiatric and Chemical Dependency. I believe he is well qualified to assess the situation and has been meeting with my son since his suicide attempt in October. His assessment (which he says he has reviewed with his peers) is that my alcohol and drugs use are a symptom with my son. Not a primary problem. The therapist feels my son has a lot of anger (although he has not ever been violent) built up towards the world in general and he says his parents (my wife and I) as representative of the 'establishment' (my word). To summarize - my son is very smart and has very logical and well thought out philosophical ideas, but he is immature. He also sabotages his life by doing things like stealing to play video games, drinking/pot to 'be happy' at the moment, sneaking out to rebel against us, etc. The question is why does he feel such strong feelings about us (his parents) and why does he sabotage himself? The therapist suggests going from once a week to twice a week individual therapy and starting family therapy sessions as well. Of course this sounds reasonable and I will do anything I can - my concern is how will that change his behavior, particularly in the short term? And where does he live until that happens?</p><p></p><p>I have decided to continue to look for facilities that treat dual problems but with an emphasis on the behavioral issues. I can only have these as suggestions to make to my son since I can't force him to go - I can only use the living at home option as incentive. I also am waiting to suggest anything to him until I see him make a concrete effort to help himself. I know he is staying in some girls apartment and he says he has food. I'm sure she will get tired of him within a few days and he could just move on to the next persons place to hang out. I can see this going on for a couple of weeks. My hope is eventually he sees that there is no future in that and he sincerely agrees to address his problems.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PittDoraj, post: 494568, member: 13500"] I cannot tell you how much this forum has helped me cope over the last two days. Thank you all for taking the time to convey your stories and suggestions. I spoke with my sons therapist yesterday for two hours (my son signed the waiver to allow us to share with the therapist). The therapist works for a well established hospital in the Psychiatric Institute, Addiction Medicine Services, Center for Psychiatric and Chemical Dependency. I believe he is well qualified to assess the situation and has been meeting with my son since his suicide attempt in October. His assessment (which he says he has reviewed with his peers) is that my alcohol and drugs use are a symptom with my son. Not a primary problem. The therapist feels my son has a lot of anger (although he has not ever been violent) built up towards the world in general and he says his parents (my wife and I) as representative of the 'establishment' (my word). To summarize - my son is very smart and has very logical and well thought out philosophical ideas, but he is immature. He also sabotages his life by doing things like stealing to play video games, drinking/pot to 'be happy' at the moment, sneaking out to rebel against us, etc. The question is why does he feel such strong feelings about us (his parents) and why does he sabotage himself? The therapist suggests going from once a week to twice a week individual therapy and starting family therapy sessions as well. Of course this sounds reasonable and I will do anything I can - my concern is how will that change his behavior, particularly in the short term? And where does he live until that happens? I have decided to continue to look for facilities that treat dual problems but with an emphasis on the behavioral issues. I can only have these as suggestions to make to my son since I can't force him to go - I can only use the living at home option as incentive. I also am waiting to suggest anything to him until I see him make a concrete effort to help himself. I know he is staying in some girls apartment and he says he has food. I'm sure she will get tired of him within a few days and he could just move on to the next persons place to hang out. I can see this going on for a couple of weeks. My hope is eventually he sees that there is no future in that and he sincerely agrees to address his problems. [/QUOTE]
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