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Problems with 19 Year Old Son
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 496308" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Pitt, I am so sorry your planned getaway was ruined by your son's actions/drama. You did the right thing by calling the cops. I know your wife now thinks if you had just left it all alone and not called them, then it wouldn't be such a big mess. It would be a different mess, and you both might be wondering right now if things would be different and your son would be alive if you had just made that call.</p><p></p><p>Your son chose to be admitted. HE ran from the cops, you didn't make him. HE told the cops he had suicidal thoughts, not you. CLEARLY he is capable of telling lies - hasn't he told them to you and your wife? If he didn't want to be in a hospital he could have lied to the cops. Then they would have left him alone or dealt with charges for whatever was going on. His admission is based on HIS behavior and choices. </p><p></p><p>Lots of parents have come here frustrated because they couldn't get a young adult admitted for suicidal threats because the young adult lied and told the cops or the staff of the psychiatric hospital that they were not suicidal. It is common knowledge that if you don't want to get held for a 72 hr hold, you don't tell cops/ER staff that you want to kill yourself. My oldest and I have spoken about this and he says that the info is all over the internet and high schools/colleges. </p><p></p><p>You did what you had to do. If you son had gone ahead and hurt himself, it wouldn't be just you and your wife who were upset, your daughter would have blamed herself because in her mind, SHE was in charge of the house and if he misbehaved it was her "job" to let you know that he was breaking the arrangement you made iwth him. If NOTHING else happens because you called the police, you took the burden of the decision off of your daughter. in my opinion that alone makes it the right decision.</p><p></p><p>Don't take his words as how he will feel forever. My son HATED me for quite a while because I was the one who did the doctor and therapy appts, and I was the one who put him into the psychiatric hospital, although his father supported me at every step. Now my son is glad I did it. NOT that we agree whether it was needed or not, but he sees it as his dad and I doing the best we could at the time and keeping his sibling safe from his rages. </p><p></p><p>I don't have much else to add, but I have been in the shoes your daughter was in, and you did the right thing by calliing and having the cops make the decision to put him into the psychiatric hospital rather than to leave it up to her. IF your son didn't want to be there, then he shouldn't have said he wanted to kill himself. Period.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 496308, member: 1233"] Pitt, I am so sorry your planned getaway was ruined by your son's actions/drama. You did the right thing by calling the cops. I know your wife now thinks if you had just left it all alone and not called them, then it wouldn't be such a big mess. It would be a different mess, and you both might be wondering right now if things would be different and your son would be alive if you had just made that call. Your son chose to be admitted. HE ran from the cops, you didn't make him. HE told the cops he had suicidal thoughts, not you. CLEARLY he is capable of telling lies - hasn't he told them to you and your wife? If he didn't want to be in a hospital he could have lied to the cops. Then they would have left him alone or dealt with charges for whatever was going on. His admission is based on HIS behavior and choices. Lots of parents have come here frustrated because they couldn't get a young adult admitted for suicidal threats because the young adult lied and told the cops or the staff of the psychiatric hospital that they were not suicidal. It is common knowledge that if you don't want to get held for a 72 hr hold, you don't tell cops/ER staff that you want to kill yourself. My oldest and I have spoken about this and he says that the info is all over the internet and high schools/colleges. You did what you had to do. If you son had gone ahead and hurt himself, it wouldn't be just you and your wife who were upset, your daughter would have blamed herself because in her mind, SHE was in charge of the house and if he misbehaved it was her "job" to let you know that he was breaking the arrangement you made iwth him. If NOTHING else happens because you called the police, you took the burden of the decision off of your daughter. in my opinion that alone makes it the right decision. Don't take his words as how he will feel forever. My son HATED me for quite a while because I was the one who did the doctor and therapy appts, and I was the one who put him into the psychiatric hospital, although his father supported me at every step. Now my son is glad I did it. NOT that we agree whether it was needed or not, but he sees it as his dad and I doing the best we could at the time and keeping his sibling safe from his rages. I don't have much else to add, but I have been in the shoes your daughter was in, and you did the right thing by calliing and having the cops make the decision to put him into the psychiatric hospital rather than to leave it up to her. IF your son didn't want to be there, then he shouldn't have said he wanted to kill himself. Period. [/QUOTE]
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