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Parent Emeritus
Problems with adult adoptive sons
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<blockquote data-quote="tryagain" data-source="post: 643215" data-attributes="member: 14865"><p>Oliveoyl, I am so sorry for the shoddy treatment you are receiving from these sons. I also have adopted grown children and have heard similar mean things from one of them, my difficult child, who is the reason I am on this board. She put me through living h--- even though I was always there for her, so I truly can relate to the hurt you are experiencing.</p><p></p><p>Right now we are going through a very difficult time in the midst of a nightmare crisis that she has brought on herself, & when she has a mood swing (she is bipolar), she becomes very cruel and says horrible things to me.</p><p></p><p>In the past, she'd moved hundreds of miles away and it was easier to detach. Now she is only 30 minutes away and it's harder because being a typical difficult child, she reappears wanting support, money, etc. We have had to learn to form boundaries. The only way that I have been able to survive it has been to let go mentally. In fact, a mantra of mine is the Zen proverb "let go, or be dragged". Just forming a mental picture of myself letting go of a wild horse dragging me along is helpful.</p><p></p><p>The people on this board are among the most compassionate, kind souls I have ever had contact with. They have helped me through the really dark times when my difficult child tried to commit suicide. You will find some great advice here from battle-worn souls who understand.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tryagain, post: 643215, member: 14865"] Oliveoyl, I am so sorry for the shoddy treatment you are receiving from these sons. I also have adopted grown children and have heard similar mean things from one of them, my difficult child, who is the reason I am on this board. She put me through living h--- even though I was always there for her, so I truly can relate to the hurt you are experiencing. Right now we are going through a very difficult time in the midst of a nightmare crisis that she has brought on herself, & when she has a mood swing (she is bipolar), she becomes very cruel and says horrible things to me. In the past, she'd moved hundreds of miles away and it was easier to detach. Now she is only 30 minutes away and it's harder because being a typical difficult child, she reappears wanting support, money, etc. We have had to learn to form boundaries. The only way that I have been able to survive it has been to let go mentally. In fact, a mantra of mine is the Zen proverb "let go, or be dragged". Just forming a mental picture of myself letting go of a wild horse dragging me along is helpful. The people on this board are among the most compassionate, kind souls I have ever had contact with. They have helped me through the really dark times when my difficult child tried to commit suicide. You will find some great advice here from battle-worn souls who understand. [/QUOTE]
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