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Parent Emeritus
Psychiatric Disorder? Hmmm.
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 314648" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>I still deal with some of this, to an extent. But the short answer is: my own therapy, support groups, educating myself about the disorder, keeping boundaries, workign on detachment skills, taking care of myself. In fact, the same skills I learned in Al-Anon for coping with my alcoholic ex spouse and mother, can be used to deal with my children's mental disorders. I can't change who they are, and I can't change the things I may or may not have done to help/hinder them in the past. It took years of practice. All I can say is to keep at it. It will get easier. The behavior won't necessarily get better, mind you, but your ability to cope with it will, if you work at it. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Some of this is her being a teenager, as Witz said. Take the typical teen "not my fault" behavior and add a personality disorder to the mix? Bam.. lethal combination. I will say that this got better as my Oldest got older. She's 25 now, but at 16, nothing was EVER her fault. She was never, ever sorry for any outburst, physical or emotional aggression towards me.. it was always MY fault. ("if you had just let me do such and such, I wouldn't have had to throw that chair at you.") I was the worst mother in the world. Yada yada yada. It's hard to take, I know.. but again, learning the coping skills above helps with this as well, eventually. </p><p></p><p>Hugs. It's not an easy road.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 314648, member: 1157"] I still deal with some of this, to an extent. But the short answer is: my own therapy, support groups, educating myself about the disorder, keeping boundaries, workign on detachment skills, taking care of myself. In fact, the same skills I learned in Al-Anon for coping with my alcoholic ex spouse and mother, can be used to deal with my children's mental disorders. I can't change who they are, and I can't change the things I may or may not have done to help/hinder them in the past. It took years of practice. All I can say is to keep at it. It will get easier. The behavior won't necessarily get better, mind you, but your ability to cope with it will, if you work at it. Some of this is her being a teenager, as Witz said. Take the typical teen "not my fault" behavior and add a personality disorder to the mix? Bam.. lethal combination. I will say that this got better as my Oldest got older. She's 25 now, but at 16, nothing was EVER her fault. She was never, ever sorry for any outburst, physical or emotional aggression towards me.. it was always MY fault. ("if you had just let me do such and such, I wouldn't have had to throw that chair at you.") I was the worst mother in the world. Yada yada yada. It's hard to take, I know.. but again, learning the coping skills above helps with this as well, eventually. Hugs. It's not an easy road. [/QUOTE]
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Psychiatric Disorder? Hmmm.
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