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Psychiatric Disorder? Hmmm.
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<blockquote data-quote="emotionallybankrupt" data-source="post: 315712" data-attributes="member: 8226"><p>Thank you for all the responses and for the articles. I'm getting there, doing a better job of setting boundaries and taking care of myself and my other daughter, and yes, it makes a big difference to get a little distance on it with her out of the house. As far as putting her up in an apartment, I don't have the means to do that, but would honestly have to say I don't know if I'd be willing to do that if I had the means. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. I think the only chance she has for any change is to hit "rock bottom," but I don't know what "rock bottom" is for her, and I don't want her to hit so hard that she completely self-destructs. </p><p> </p><p>I know there is a strong genetic component, but I don't think she has even tried to overcome it. She sure has had a lot of the "nurture" component from a lot of people who love her very much, ahd she has simply walked away from every one of them. Hopefully something will make her turn the corner eventually, but I just can't let her back in my house. I don't know if I'll ever feel able to have a relationship with her again, but right now it's too soon. </p><p> </p><p>The e-mails of "I know I did some horrible things, and I'm sorry, but now I need you Mom...I need your advice, Mom," have just started in the last couple of days. (Translate I need something from you, Mom, and I'm hoping a token apology will be good enough for me to get it.) I knew it would be coming, and I figured the upcoming holidays would be a trigger, as well as just feeling the absence of her mother for the first time. I'm sure she's out of money too and is just now learning it doesn't magically appear. She's hating to hear me say that the daily explosions in our home have been unhealthy for each of us, and that her sister and I are doing better now without all that conflict. Misery loves company, I guess.</p><p> </p><p>Gut feeling is that I need to let her feel the natural consequences of fighting me so hard until she finally got out of the house. Also that--for now at least--I can't take care of her sister and myself unless I let her stay at a distance and see that this independent "adulthood" she was wanting so badly isn't all it's cracked up to be. I'm just telling her that she's in exactly the situation she chose for herself and that I'm sure she wouldn't have fouight so hard to trade her childhood and teenage years for early adulthood unless she had a plan to make it work to her advantage. I know she must have hated that response from me, and so far that's been the end of the exchange. I'm sure it's far from over, though. She's had only since last night to think it over.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="emotionallybankrupt, post: 315712, member: 8226"] Thank you for all the responses and for the articles. I'm getting there, doing a better job of setting boundaries and taking care of myself and my other daughter, and yes, it makes a big difference to get a little distance on it with her out of the house. As far as putting her up in an apartment, I don't have the means to do that, but would honestly have to say I don't know if I'd be willing to do that if I had the means. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. I think the only chance she has for any change is to hit "rock bottom," but I don't know what "rock bottom" is for her, and I don't want her to hit so hard that she completely self-destructs. I know there is a strong genetic component, but I don't think she has even tried to overcome it. She sure has had a lot of the "nurture" component from a lot of people who love her very much, ahd she has simply walked away from every one of them. Hopefully something will make her turn the corner eventually, but I just can't let her back in my house. I don't know if I'll ever feel able to have a relationship with her again, but right now it's too soon. The e-mails of "I know I did some horrible things, and I'm sorry, but now I need you Mom...I need your advice, Mom," have just started in the last couple of days. (Translate I need something from you, Mom, and I'm hoping a token apology will be good enough for me to get it.) I knew it would be coming, and I figured the upcoming holidays would be a trigger, as well as just feeling the absence of her mother for the first time. I'm sure she's out of money too and is just now learning it doesn't magically appear. She's hating to hear me say that the daily explosions in our home have been unhealthy for each of us, and that her sister and I are doing better now without all that conflict. Misery loves company, I guess. Gut feeling is that I need to let her feel the natural consequences of fighting me so hard until she finally got out of the house. Also that--for now at least--I can't take care of her sister and myself unless I let her stay at a distance and see that this independent "adulthood" she was wanting so badly isn't all it's cracked up to be. I'm just telling her that she's in exactly the situation she chose for herself and that I'm sure she wouldn't have fouight so hard to trade her childhood and teenage years for early adulthood unless she had a plan to make it work to her advantage. I know she must have hated that response from me, and so far that's been the end of the exchange. I'm sure it's far from over, though. She's had only since last night to think it over. [/QUOTE]
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