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Parent Emeritus
Psychiatric Disorder? Hmmm.
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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 315934" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>This thread resonates for me in many ways with respect to several relatives including difficult child. EB, I think you're absolutely accurate in your assessment of the reason for the current contact (suddenly has needs, wants something from you, thinks a token quasi-apology will set everything back to 'normal', i.e. you doing things for her). Your response is wonderful. Sounds like you've reached the point where you're able to detach - just not willing to take the abuse anymore. I'm glad you're recovering some peace in your household and in your life. </p><p></p><p>Even though your difficult child will be angry that you don't rescue her now, and may cut off contact for a time, believe me, she'll be back. Long ago I worried that saying or doing the wrong thing would have permanent consequences that I'd regret down the road. The only 'wrong' thing is to continue to let someone with a personality disorder use you. I've gone no-contact with certain relatives for prolonged periods of time and they always manage to re-establish contact. At least I've learned to keep my boundaries high and unyielding. </p><p></p><p>So, be firm, do what you and your younger daughter need, and don't feel bad about it. Not that your letter sounds like you are, but as time goes by it's easy for doubts to creep in. Protecting yourself and your daughter is Job 1; and you'll still know what your difficult child is up to. Best wishes ...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 315934, member: 2884"] This thread resonates for me in many ways with respect to several relatives including difficult child. EB, I think you're absolutely accurate in your assessment of the reason for the current contact (suddenly has needs, wants something from you, thinks a token quasi-apology will set everything back to 'normal', i.e. you doing things for her). Your response is wonderful. Sounds like you've reached the point where you're able to detach - just not willing to take the abuse anymore. I'm glad you're recovering some peace in your household and in your life. Even though your difficult child will be angry that you don't rescue her now, and may cut off contact for a time, believe me, she'll be back. Long ago I worried that saying or doing the wrong thing would have permanent consequences that I'd regret down the road. The only 'wrong' thing is to continue to let someone with a personality disorder use you. I've gone no-contact with certain relatives for prolonged periods of time and they always manage to re-establish contact. At least I've learned to keep my boundaries high and unyielding. So, be firm, do what you and your younger daughter need, and don't feel bad about it. Not that your letter sounds like you are, but as time goes by it's easy for doubts to creep in. Protecting yourself and your daughter is Job 1; and you'll still know what your difficult child is up to. Best wishes ... [/QUOTE]
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Psychiatric Disorder? Hmmm.
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