psychiatrist read him the riot act

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by TerryJ2, Mar 2, 2015.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Really lectured difficult child today.
    psychiatrist is giving him one month to quit the pot and if the test is positive, or he skips out on it, the dr. will not renew the Concerta.
    (He said, you don't really expect anyone to believe you're sitting together in that room all day, not talking about anything, and you're just smoking cigarettes?! Ha.)
    He said that if difficult child didn’t have parents to help him out, Dr would just say, "Hey you’re 18, I refuse to be your doctor anymore. I'd drop you like that. Can’t mix legal and illegal drugs. You're using a legal drug for an illegal purpose, by doing both pot and Concerta."
    He tried to talk difficult child into Lexapro but difficult child still wants to believe that it causes suicidal ideation (a girl at school says she was on an antidepressant and had thoughts of suicide--that was a 10 min lecture and explanation by the dr) and he still won’t admit that the Dec-Jan slide was a bona fide depressive episode.
    The dr spent a long time explaining the diff between being depressed and a depressive episode ("Broke up with-my girlfriend, blew the English test, vs broke up with-my girlfriend, lost my job, fought with-my parents, didn't sleep, didn't eat, flunked 5 of 7 classes, started doing weed...")
    difficult child took his lithium tonight but refused the Lexapro. I guess he’ll have to go down that steep hill again to find out that everyone is right.
    I think a month is a long time to give difficult child to quit doing pot. I would have sent him for the urine test today, on the spot. But I guess the dr knows what he's doing. And wants difficult child to trust him instead of hate him.
  2. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Good luck! My son quit his therapist because she told him what he was doing was wrong. When he told me that my response was, "Gee....maybe because IT WAS WRONG?"
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I don't trust therapists, especially for kids and I think your psychiatrist thinks of your son as a kid. I've been in the mental health system for forty years and have learned that if I don't look out for myself, they sure won't. I have found as many horrible psychiatrists and therapists as good ones. This goes with psychiatry being an inexact science.

    I'm not a doctor, but I'd never allow my kid to take Concerta with his history. It is hot on the street and abused and has a high resale value. It's not as hot as Adderrall, but all ADHD drugs are speed and the kids who use drugs like to crush them in pillcrushers and snort them alone or with other drugs. I'm not a big Lithium fan either, unless the person is proven to have Bipolar I. It's a very powerful drug and it made me want to slit my wrists. Is he getting his lithium levels drawn? I wasn't, and it turned out I had toxic levels and could have died. I refused Lithium after that and I'm good without the zombie affect of a mood stabilizer. But your son may need it. Soooooooo hard to know. Hard for the doctors to know too.

    I don't see the point of Lexapro too if he is smoking pot. I don't see what the psychiatrist thinks it will do either. Sounds screwed up to me. And, yeah, a month to quit pot? Why?

    I dunno, Terry. I've had so many horrible psychiatric doctors that I don't trust anyone in the "iffy" mental health field. Your Difficult Child doesn't trust him, most likely. Like my daughter, when she used drugs, he probably thinks his doctor is a fool and that he can put one over on him. In fact, my daughter DID put one over on her doctor. She talked him into thinking she had bipolar instead of her moodswings being swung by her different drugs. She was given depakote and Prozac. Depakote made her feel so "stupid" she threw it out but she got ovarian cysts from it first. Prozac made her pull a knife on herself. You can't mix that stuff safely with other unknown drugs. Now she's clean and obviously is not bipolar so the clown was wrong. I've had many clowns. If our difficult sweethearts want to con the doctors, they're quite good at it. Frankly, I could have too, since they do not diagnose by any testing, but they just go by the answers they get. If I'd lied to my doctors, I could have gotten all sorts of strang diagnosis. As it was, I told them the truth the best I could, and they still got it wrong often or they disagreed.

    I'm sorry that the mental heath system has jaded me, but most who are in it are not really thrilled with it. Right now it's all we have, but it just isn't able to pinpoint the problems yet. If it were me, the pot would go now or the kid would go now, but that's me. And Concerta would no longer be in my house. There is a reason it is such a closely controlled is very abused.

    Wishing you lots of luck and hoping your son starts to see that he is ruining his life and that you and your husband are desperately trying to help him...but that he has to do his part or you can't save him.
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2015
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    MWM, well, my son's Asperger's or whatever-it-is comes in handy when it comes to Concerta, or any medication. He just blurts out things, so we know what he's gotten into most of the time. (In fact, that's how I find out half the stuff he's doing. He tells us!)

    The psychiatrist's background is in drug rehab. Our former psychiatrist was a very nice looking Asian woman who did not click at all with-difficult child, (at that time about 9 yrs old). She simply prescribed him the first of many drugs to which he was HIGHLY allergic (starting with Zoloft). She asked him how his grades were and that was it.
    The current psychiatrist is male, black, and in-your-face, and very funny, which works much better for difficult child, who has absolutely no respect for women. And he's mixed race and is currently very aware of black American issues. One thing I have found with-doctors--if they don't have a sense of humor, I won't stay. :)

    The medications are in the kitchen cupboard. difficult child has always hated taking medications, probably because my husband, being a chiro, drilled it into his head when he was little. Then when husband realized that difficult child really did need something, it was too late, so we had a long, hard struggle to get difficult child to take anything. He told me he still hates applesauce for that reason. :)
    That's the weird part about difficult child's wanting to smoke weed. It's a drug. Uh-duh. Peer pressure is working. It never used to work. He couldn't care less. He had no friends. Now, he is desperate to keep them, no matter who they are. :(
    He is a very complicated case. There is no question that he has a mood disorder with a lot of ups and downs and has always suffered from depression and anxiety. I personally think it's bipolar. And that he's got both bipolar and some form of autism.
    His bio dad is most likely bipolar and his bio mom and grandmother are Aspies.
    Lots of alcoholism and divorces on both sides of the family. (Self-medicating, IOW)

    Concerta is typically a bad thing for bipolar. But when he does not take it, he is hyper and unfocused and mean. (I will always remember the very first time he took Adderall. It worked very quickly and it was like a miracle. He sat down and had his first conversation with our daughter!)
    When he's off of his lithium, he's depressed and mean.

    So, yes, we're all hoping that it's "just" pot that's doing this to him. But he wasn't doing pot in Calif over New Year's. He was "simply" off of his lithium.
    He was doing weed 2 or 3 yrs ago and some of the behaviors now are similar but not identical.

    I'm staying on him, especially now that I'm starting to feel better after my dental surgery. I can't let up for one second. He is the poster child for "Give him an inch and he'll take a mile."

    And this is exactly what the doctor said today: "hoping [your son] starts to see that he is ruining his life and that you and your husband are desperately trying to help him...but that he has to do his part."
  5. 2much2recover

    2much2recover Well-Known Member

    So many times people with bi-polar just don't like the way the prescription medications make them feel so they end up self-medicating with drugs/alcohol. I am sorry you P Dr missed this connection - or maybe he does but won't put up with it.
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    We went through that a couple of yrs ago. difficult child's dose was a little high, and he felt disconnected. Detached.
    Went off of it, started back a few months later at a lower dose. Much better this time.
    Well, when he's on it he's much better. :whistling:
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    So, now we have a brand new scenario and conversation for the psychiatrist on the 16th. It will be very interesting.
    We also have therapist on the 10th or 11th.
    I'm thinking about making one for myself with-the therapist, just to get my footing.
    I haven't been back to my own therapist in months and months.
  8. mjhawks

    mjhawks Member

    I think it's a good thing the therapist lit into him. So many times, I've watch DQ's therapist coddle her. That's not what she needs. These kids see things in black and white. Trying to sugar coat things only confuses the issue. It also reinforces their victim mentality, if they think they can get the therapist to feel sorry for them.
  9. 2much2recover

    2much2recover Well-Known Member

    SO true, sometimes when I hear these stories it reminds me that a lot of P Docs and therapists get in the business because their lives are so screwed up LOL
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    psychiatrist is going to be shocked when he hears what's going on now.
    Still, I intend to get the urine test in the next couple of weeks, because I think difficult child is still doing pot about once a week.
    He's GOT to get off of it because of his Concerta.
    I hope that the dr doesn't really drop him. He's be dropping us, too. :(