psychiatrist, therapist and school

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Kjs, Apr 6, 2007.

  1. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Every day I here new stories from school, VP, teachers,difficult child. difficult child was sick two days. Third day I went into school to meet him at his locker to be sure he took all work home. Math teacher walked by and said "he didn't turn in any work today, thought you should know that". (he was sick!!!) However we did go online to the mathbook and he did do the math. Forgot it in the car of the person who gives him a ride. Turns out, that lady returned the work to the school office that day. difficult child desk in English is separated from all others.
    Thursday psychiatrist...said school is targeting him. He is doing much better, but medications can only do so much. School needs to work with him too. Said difficult child isn't doing these things purposely, not planned out that he is going to be angry today. Wants him off Lexapro.
    therapist later the same day. therapist said he is going to call school to see what is going on. Why is he being separated when he does NOT do these things on purpose.
    difficult child knows teachers separate him,kids pick on him because of that. difficult child said he has been handling his anger better, but acknowledges he can do better.
    I am REALLY ticked off. Math teacher sends a note home: difficult child "refused" to participate in warm-ups today. He will recieve a ZERO for today.
    Spoke to difficult child asked why. difficult child said he wasn't in math for warmups he was with spec. Ed. Teacher. Should I confront math teacher or let it go??
     
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    K,

    I would definately speak to the math teacher. The fact that she didn't put " 2 and 2 together" regarding his homework while he was out sick, and also gave him a zero for work not complete when he wasn't even in class, would make me call asap. Sounds like a pure power trip to me.

    Stay calm, list both examples and direct the question away from your son by asking something like "is it your policy to require homework from students their first day back (most teachers give students, at minimum, an extra day) from being sick?" And, "is it your procedure to give kids a zero for work not done because they weren't in class?"

    One word of caution - take your difficult child's words with a grain of salt. I'm not saying that he would deliberately lie to about refusing to do the work, but she could have asked him when he returned to class at which time he refused. But, it does sound like this teacher is being unfair.

    Sharon
     
  3. OpenWindow

    OpenWindow Active Member

    I'd definitely talk to the teacher. I am going through the same thing. I emailed the resource room teacher my concerns about his regular classroom teacher. She was giving difficult child a 0 out of 300 on a project I never knew he was working on and I wasn't too happy. She forwarded my email to the teacher - yikes, not what I wanted! Anyway, it got the results I wanted even if there were some uncomfortable moments between me and his teacher - she thought I was going around her and was a little upset. difficult children teachers all started talking to each other again about the best way to help difficult child and it's no longer about his choices or actions but what we can do to help him make the right choices and act appropriately.

    I hate when they use words like "refused" or "chose" because to me that means they are just not getting it.

    Do you have anyone at school who you feel is on the same page as you, in case your talk with the math teacher isn't successful?
     
  4. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Rather than assume that the teacher is on a power trip or had some evil motive, I would simply ask for a conference with the teacher (in person) and get it straightened out.

    I don't know how many classes a day your difficult child's math teacher has but I know that with my 150 students, I really don't always remember who came in late, who was absent, and who simply didn't "feel" like working that day (I do disagree with the idea that students don't simply refuse to work at times ~ particularly teenagers). I do my best to keep it straight but there are times when I get confused and give a zero by accident when it turns out the student was late or absent. I am happy to change the grade when the mistake is pointed out and the work is made up.

    As far as the number of days allowed for make up work, that should be covered either in writing by the school or teacher at the beginning of the semester or school year. That is something else you could ask about at the conference.

    I would not go in with a confrontational attitude. That really doesn't help the situation.

    You might even want to request a conference with all of the teachers to make sure everyone is on the same page about your child's special needs. I have been in situations where I wasn't even told the child had an IEP until the middle of the semester. It's hard to make accommodations when you don't know what they are.

    ~Kathy

     
  5. Liahona

    Liahona Active Member

    If its more then one teacher I think it might be a good idea for someone to educate them on what disabilities he has and how that looks in a school environment and what they can do to help or what they might be doing to make it worse. Just because they're teachers doesn't mean they know about diabilities. You've had some problems with this school in the recent past. Maybe therapist would be a good choice to educate them. This assumes that they aren't on a power trip and doing this because of the past issues. If they are - thank goodness its the end of the school year.

    Either way talking to his teachers is a good idea.
     
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