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psychiatrist's office called (and another possible suspension)
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 385370" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>This was something I also struggled with a *lot* when thank you hit about 14-15. I really felt like he was being set up for a huge fall in his adult years. If he flipped out at 15, threw chairs, broke windows, assaulted staff, he was hospitalized. But if he did it at 18, I was pretty sure no officer or judge was going to give a darn about his mental illness, especially because he can present so "normal". He was going to wind up incarcerated and he'd say it's not fair, and he would have a point. The rules would have changed at that magical age of 18, and of course while we were warning him constantly, he wasn't hearing us (or so I thought).</p><p></p><p>It is such an incredibly gray area. Our kids *do* need the supports and accommodations, but at the same time we have to try to prepare them for life as adults where they alone will be held accountable for their actions, and whether or not they took their medications that day or a BIP was followed will be beside the point. At that stage, I really thought thank you needed to be full on arrested for his violence. I've moderated my stance now. I'm not sure it would have been a useful or learning experience at all for him. </p><p></p><p>Having survived those mid-teen years, I can only tell you that it still feels like we got by on a wing and a prayer. thank you had accommodations and allowances made for him until the moment he walked out of the program. His violence did start to decrease at around age 16 and I think the last really over the top incident was at 17. I know he's had interactions with- police, probably more than I know about, but for him anyway it has seemed to click that the rules are different now and so far (knock wood) he's managed to not tick off officers to the point of arrest.</p><p></p><p>Hindsight being closer to 20/20, I think the goal at these ages still needs to be provide the supports. difficult child having any kind of consequences imposed by a court is not going to be productive at this point, in my humble opinion. Worse yet, what happens if police are called and there are no consequences - does the juvenile system really want to take on difficult child? It sets a bad precedent. Sharon (Wiped Out), I know I've told you these next few years are going to fly by, and they *are*, but what you see now probably isn't what you'll see at 17. At the same time I think it's really important to make sure that staff are supporting, not antagonizing him. He's got these few remaining years to really get that he needs to maintain control of himself in a positive way, not the controlled raging that I know thank you did a lot of. </p><p></p><p>I think it's positive that he's able to maintain when you've mentioned the possible need to call police at home. He's absolutely pushing far past the limits in school right now, and unfortunately I agree that they probably are going to have to involve police if this continues, but I would push very hard that if they have to make that call, they make it for a police escort to psychiatric hospital rather than flat out arrest. </p><p></p><p>I'm so sorry Sharon. These are tough years. I'm so glad psychiatrist was there for you guys last night - he sounds like a very thoughtful man. </p><p></p><p>Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 385370, member: 8"] This was something I also struggled with a *lot* when thank you hit about 14-15. I really felt like he was being set up for a huge fall in his adult years. If he flipped out at 15, threw chairs, broke windows, assaulted staff, he was hospitalized. But if he did it at 18, I was pretty sure no officer or judge was going to give a darn about his mental illness, especially because he can present so "normal". He was going to wind up incarcerated and he'd say it's not fair, and he would have a point. The rules would have changed at that magical age of 18, and of course while we were warning him constantly, he wasn't hearing us (or so I thought). It is such an incredibly gray area. Our kids *do* need the supports and accommodations, but at the same time we have to try to prepare them for life as adults where they alone will be held accountable for their actions, and whether or not they took their medications that day or a BIP was followed will be beside the point. At that stage, I really thought thank you needed to be full on arrested for his violence. I've moderated my stance now. I'm not sure it would have been a useful or learning experience at all for him. Having survived those mid-teen years, I can only tell you that it still feels like we got by on a wing and a prayer. thank you had accommodations and allowances made for him until the moment he walked out of the program. His violence did start to decrease at around age 16 and I think the last really over the top incident was at 17. I know he's had interactions with- police, probably more than I know about, but for him anyway it has seemed to click that the rules are different now and so far (knock wood) he's managed to not tick off officers to the point of arrest. Hindsight being closer to 20/20, I think the goal at these ages still needs to be provide the supports. difficult child having any kind of consequences imposed by a court is not going to be productive at this point, in my humble opinion. Worse yet, what happens if police are called and there are no consequences - does the juvenile system really want to take on difficult child? It sets a bad precedent. Sharon (Wiped Out), I know I've told you these next few years are going to fly by, and they *are*, but what you see now probably isn't what you'll see at 17. At the same time I think it's really important to make sure that staff are supporting, not antagonizing him. He's got these few remaining years to really get that he needs to maintain control of himself in a positive way, not the controlled raging that I know thank you did a lot of. I think it's positive that he's able to maintain when you've mentioned the possible need to call police at home. He's absolutely pushing far past the limits in school right now, and unfortunately I agree that they probably are going to have to involve police if this continues, but I would push very hard that if they have to make that call, they make it for a police escort to psychiatric hospital rather than flat out arrest. I'm so sorry Sharon. These are tough years. I'm so glad psychiatrist was there for you guys last night - he sounds like a very thoughtful man. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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