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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 245265" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>I think that detaching mode is the way to go. It is hard when there are children are in the mix but ...</p><p> </p><p>I know I could not raise another difficult child. If my difficult child 2 were to be in a parental situation such as your K I know it would be hard to remain detached. I think I would make the same decisions though. I would just offer support and advice when asked. In my opinion and experience giving money doesn't really help anyway. </p><p> </p><p>I have a sister who the family has bailed out several times and to whom much has been given in free clothing and furniture and cash. She is a very sweet person but honestly she hasn't learned anything other than "Someone will just give me another when this breaks" She employs no preventive measures, no maintience, no forethought. While I readily admit that she has had a very hard life, I also know that alot of it is of her own making. </p><p> </p><p>She has a decent State Job yet has no retirement funds. She has taken all the equity out of her home to buy things such as timeshares and "investment property" (in the form of a fixer upper in another state that she neither fixed nor sold) because she listens to her idiot best friend and hard sell sales people rather than consult her siblings on investments she knows nothing about. She went to the sales pitch on the timeshare to get the free stuff and ended up being sold the timeshare and not getting the free stuff.</p><p> </p><p>She is now on the verge of bakrupcy yet again. Only difference is that this time my parents are dead and us sibs are too close to retirement ourselves to bail her out. </p><p> </p><p>What is interesting is that my sister really doesn't worry about any of it. Like your daughter she tells us of her situation and if we want to give her money, she takes it but if we do not she doesn't judge. She kinda just floats through life firmly believing that all will be well and as long as there are giving people out there to help her it will be. I suspect the same will be true for your daughter and her children. -RM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 245265, member: 2315"] I think that detaching mode is the way to go. It is hard when there are children are in the mix but ... I know I could not raise another difficult child. If my difficult child 2 were to be in a parental situation such as your K I know it would be hard to remain detached. I think I would make the same decisions though. I would just offer support and advice when asked. In my opinion and experience giving money doesn't really help anyway. I have a sister who the family has bailed out several times and to whom much has been given in free clothing and furniture and cash. She is a very sweet person but honestly she hasn't learned anything other than "Someone will just give me another when this breaks" She employs no preventive measures, no maintience, no forethought. While I readily admit that she has had a very hard life, I also know that alot of it is of her own making. She has a decent State Job yet has no retirement funds. She has taken all the equity out of her home to buy things such as timeshares and "investment property" (in the form of a fixer upper in another state that she neither fixed nor sold) because she listens to her idiot best friend and hard sell sales people rather than consult her siblings on investments she knows nothing about. She went to the sales pitch on the timeshare to get the free stuff and ended up being sold the timeshare and not getting the free stuff. She is now on the verge of bakrupcy yet again. Only difference is that this time my parents are dead and us sibs are too close to retirement ourselves to bail her out. What is interesting is that my sister really doesn't worry about any of it. Like your daughter she tells us of her situation and if we want to give her money, she takes it but if we do not she doesn't judge. She kinda just floats through life firmly believing that all will be well and as long as there are giving people out there to help her it will be. I suspect the same will be true for your daughter and her children. -RM [/QUOTE]
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