Puberty and TOM question

[flutterbee]

Recap: difficult child started her period about 2 1/2 years ago. She's severely depressed, although she is maintaining well and I'm wondering how much is hormonal.

A couple of nights ago, difficult child was telling me that she'll sometimes get really angry for no reason. She feels like she just wants to hit or hurt something. Hitting a pillow is not good enough. I know I felt this way when I PMS'd - I called it feeling toxic - and asked her when her period was due. She always becomes very defensive/embarrassed when asked about that. She refuses to keep track on a calendar. She told me that she hasn't had one in a couple of months which makes sense because she hasn't asked me to buy her any pads for a while.

Is it unusual for girls to miss periods like that? I know it takes some time before periods become 'regular', but mine never did. I don't remember missing any, though, until I was a bit older and was also anorexic and had endometriosis. Is this worth a visit to the doctor?

I'm thinking this could explain a lot about her current emotional and volatile state.

 

[KTMom91]

Is there any possibility of pregnancy? As we found out later, Miss KT was afraid she was pregnant, and was more hateful and hostile than usual.

 

[klmno]

Mine was irregular for many years. Especially if I was stressed- and it sounds like she is stressed simply because she started. My vote is to let her have a little space to adjust- help her feel "grown up" and confident about it- just watch to see if she really DOES adjust or if she still seems uncomfortable after a couple of months. Peer pressure (real or perceived) is probably playing into things at this point, too.

 

[flutterbee]

No possible way she is pregnant. And she started her period 2 1/2 years ago, so she's adjusted.

It just seems odd to me that she would be somewhat regular, considering, and then nothing for a couple of months.

 

[klmno]

Take her for a physical- it could be low iron or something like that. Easily fixed if found- and of course- the sooner found, the less self-conscience she will be. Mine stopped completely for several months due to low iron- it could be other things- the point is that it probably isn't too serious as long as it is found by a dr. Apparently, the minerals and vitamins in our body change with our period so it is not unusual at all for teenage girls to need certain dietary changes or vitamin supplements- just take her for a physical- reassure her- she probably feels wierd- my guess is , it will turn out ok.

 

[TerryJ2]

It took me a few yrs to become regular, but I ended up on a 45-day cycle, more or less, instead of 28 days. Sometimes the PMS would show up for a 3 wks, and sometimes only 3 days, but it was clearly related it.
If she goes to the dr, s/he'll probably have her take her temp every a.m. when she wakes up, to find out when she's ovulating. She'll have to keep a chart/graph. If she won't even record her periods she won't want to take her temp at 6 a.m. every day and make a chart!
Personally, I don't think 13 is that much to worry about, but it's up to you in reg. to whether you want to make an appointment. It's just that it's so hard for her right now.
Take care.

 

[KTMom91]

Since there's no possibility of pregnancy, and she's been regular up to this point, I'd take her to the doctor.

 

[susiestar]

A physical is usually a good idea if she has been regular for several years and then stopped. there are a LOT of things that could cause it.

Our docs won't do the temp thing unless a girl has been sexually active. They also won't do a pelvic, but they WILL do blood work and will offer some suggestions for help with PMS and to make her more regular. (This is our OB/GYN, the pediatrician is useless here for PMS issues and having periods just stop).

Hugs to both of you, this is tough to navigate with a child so self-conscious.

 

[DammitJanet]

Wowie she was young to start puberty. Poor kiddo. I would take her for a physical too. At the very least with your history maybe they could start her on the pill to regulate her and it could help with the mood swings. They have those wonderful ones now that let you only have 4 periods a year. Boy I would have loved that back in high school!

 

[flutterbee]

I mentioned bc to her a couple of nights ago. She about went through the roof. "You KNOW I hate taking pills, Mom." Told her they have one available in a patch. Nope. Not having it.

She just told me that she hasn't felt depressed or sad at all in a couple of days. She has been getting better sleep and has been getting outside more. She asked why she's not sad..."I have depreSSION, Mom." (Don't you love the way they enunciate things to make their point?) "Yes, Dear. It doesn't mean you have to be sad all the time. Just be grateful and try to figure out what you did different." We did talk about the sleep and exercise possibly helping, and also a better outlook.

She makes me dizzy.

 

[DammitJanet]

How about the depo shot?

 

[flutterbee]

I won't go for the depo shot. Once it's in, you can't undo it until it wears off.

 

[Lothlorien]

Go to your local Health Food Store...a good one. I can't remember the name of the herb, but there is an herb specifically meant to help regulate menstrual cycles and is usually only needed for a month or two.

 

[shamrock1269]

I've had Premenstrual Dysphoric Syndrome for years and years. It's basically PMS, multiplied by 1000. Finally found a doctor bout 3 years ago that would medicate for it. I'm on Zoloft now, take it for 10 days a month, basically. It's just for the week before the period and a couple days into it. It's worked miracles. Lots of info out there on PMDS, worth a look. Good Luck to you!

 

[Tiapet]

Ms Queen recently went on the pill to regulate herself. Didn't regulate anything (cycle or mood). Her reactions sound like your difficult child and we are also searching for answers. I told her she is depressed and perhaps she should go on an anti-depressant (which both of us fear - me because she could become manic, her because she hates pills). She is flat out nasty and mean (as per other posts here).

As for why your difficult child would suddenly stop, it can happen but it should be looked into for sure. They may have to give her the medication that brings it on once they rule out any other possible suspects.

 

[butterflydreams]

My easy child is like that. She was pretty regular for awhile and then her cycle started jumping around during the month. Then a couple of months ago she missed one. We have been dealing with a endocrinologist for other issues (she's pre-diabetic to name other things) who tested her hormone levels. We are considering putting her on the pill if things don't regulate soon. Anyway, she ended up in the ER about a month ago with severe abdominal pain. They did all sorts of tests and xrays - of course they checked to see if she was pregnant. She wasn't - no way she could be. Anyway, they did a ultrasound and found that she had a ovarian cyst that was leaking - which was causing the pain. They figured that the cyst could very well have been why she didn't have her period. Cyst not doing what it was supposed to - no trigger for her period. I suffered from these for years - I didn't even think about it as a possibility for her. Once the cyst finished rupturing, her period started again.

I would take her to the doctor just to be sure nothing is going on, they can run blood tests to test her hormone levels to be sure nothing is off.

Christy

 

[TerryJ2]

Hmm. So sorry Christy, but good point.
Heather, her negativity and emphaticism and dislike of pills sound SO much like my difficult child!

 

[flutterbee]

I scheduled her a dr appointment for July 7. It's better to be safe than sorry. I just really didn't know how unusual or normal this is because I was never ever regular and my mom was regular for day one...so not much 'normal' info to balance it against. But, I have to think that her emotional issues are connected right now knowing that she has missed a couple of months. Her hormones have got to be going haywire.

Thanks for the ideas and suggestions! I always had horrible horrible horrible PMS, but I take synthetic progestin now and no longer have a TOM. If they tell me because all of this health stuff that I have to quit taking it, I might just curl up in the fetal position and stay there.