Punched DURING Class

[susiestar]

thank you and I have an agreement. If he is feeling overwhelmed and over stressed he can come and ask to stay home. He has to tell me why though. This is the second time this year, so clearly he is not abusing this. The first was a day he was coming down and felt yucky but didn't know why.

Today he comes in and says a kid in art class is poking fingers at his eye and then if he flinches the kid punches him hard. thank you has a big knot that is starting to show a bruise from this jerk doing it over and over yesterday.

What truly angers me is that there was a teacher IN THE ROOM when this happened.

I am going to write emails to the teacher, principal and counselor.

 

[buddy]

I'm so glad he told you. I hope they take care of the situation. Does that school have no bullying policies and any kind of mediation program to intervene?

 

[TerryJ2]

Arrgh. Just what you need.
Sometimes these kids can be fast. Still, it sounds ongoing and the teacher definitely needs to put a stop to it. I'd have their desks so far apart, you'd need a jumbo jet to get there in a week.
Strangely enough, this sounds like the kind of stuff my sister and brother and I used to do. We never left marks, though.

 

[SearchingForRainbows]

I hate hearing about situations like this!! Our SD supposedly had a zero tolerance policy for bullying. difficult child 2 was constantly a "target" in one of his science classes. I hand delivered a letter addressed to the SPED director, the principal, his teacher, and guidance/adjustment counselor. The letter I received back sounded like a joke, I couldn't believe the principal actually sent it to me! It basically stated that a thorough investigation had been completed, the students supposedly involved were all excellent students, were questioned and denied everything difficult child 2 told me. The final paragraph mentioned the zero tolerance policy, etc., etc., that I should contact them again should I ever have any other concerns. What "GARBAGE!!"

Finally, difficult child 2 brought home evidence. Someone had drawn a very inappropriate picture on the cover of one of his notebooks, complete with the phrase, "This is difficult child 2's "d**k." I copied this picture and included it with a second hand delivered letter. By this time, we were on our way to hearing and I got a different kind of response. I was basically told that they had no idea how this could have possibly happened, were very upset that this type of behavior occurred in one of their classrooms, and have taken what they believed to be appropriate measures. The principal spoke to all of the students in the classroom (difficult child 2 was in a meeting with-his guidance/adjustment counselor while this was going on), explained that this type of behavior will not be tolerated, and if he found out who did this, that student would be suspended.

Of course the student who did it was never found. To make matters worse, difficult child 1 told me that difficult child 2 had become the source of much laughing, nasty jokes, because of this. While it is so sad that difficult child 2 lacks basic social skills, in this case it was a blessing. difficult child 2 had no idea that so many kids were laughing at his expense.

I'm so sad/sorry to hear this happened to thank you. I hope your school has a better policy in place for treating bullying. SFR

 

[TerryJ2]

I was basically told that they had no idea how this could have possibly happened, were very upset that this type of behavior occurred in one of their classrooms, and have taken what they believed to be appropriate measures.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a bunch of $(%*$*#!*! Sometimes the teachers (and especially admin) are worse than the students when it comes to deflecting blame.

 

[susiestar]

thank you just admitted this has been going on for WEEKS!!

I called school to let them know thank you was sick and to see if I could speak to the Asst Principal. He is going to talk to the teacher and have them moved BEFORE he brings thank you's name into it. thank you has been sitting in class flinching repeatedly to try to make sure the teacher pays more attention. Not the best coping strategy, but a creative one. It does explain why he has had backaches recently. If I flinched over and over for a class, my back would hurt also.

Because there is a knot that is starting to show a bruise, they have to talk to the other student. The Asst Principal thinks that 99% of the time just moving them and making the teacher aware fixes the problem. Seems quite naive to me, but what do I know.

We do have no bullying and safe school policies in place, but they are not something I have been impressed with.

I could see this happening maybe twice with-o the teacher seeing it, but for WEEKS? To the point that to be left alone my kid has to flinch constantly? I am NOT buying into the "teacher had no idea" line.

 

[AnnieO]

"I'm so upset this happened" - I've heard this one!

It's not stopping, though. Jett has determined that we are useless in fighting it... I overheard him telling his BFF on the phone that "Mom and Dad tried but they can't stop it either."

I'm livid for you, Susie. This is just the kind of thing that gets written down as "boys will be boys" - except, that's NOT a good reason. All it is is an excuse.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Seriously... while I don't AGREE with it, I can definitely see the teacher not seeing it. Some of these bullies are REALLY good. Even had one principal admit that to me in so many words... the bullies are smarter than the teachers. The bullies know EXACTLY when the teacher isn't looking, and how long that is likely to last. They know what their window of opportunity is. Short of having a video cameral installed, there's no way the teacher can see everything... and then, who has time to go back and watch it all?

Any time you have kids in the class who is even the tiniest bit different from the others... from "brainiac" to "dodo" to physically slow, to minor LDs... whatever the difference, THOSE are the kids who are targets, all day long. Teachers do NOT believe this, partly because most teachers went through school oblivious to bullying - it didn't affect them or anybody they knew. They expect kids to want to be in class, to be ready to learn, to be kind, and so on. Even when that flies in the face of reality.

To make things even more complex, often the bully is a kid with a whole pile of unmet needs, too - and often, with parents who will not or cannot step in and get the help this kid needs. The math-class-bully just might be a kid who is struggling badly with math himself, and is trying to deflect attention and/or pull others down, because... for years nobody has heard HIS cry for help. We've been on both sides of this one, multiple times.

Bullying is behavior that has to stop.
However... until we can come up with the money and the political will to really address the serious unmet needs in the student population... it isn't going away.
All we can do is try to protect our own kids.

 

[rejectedmom]

Take a picture of the bruise and attach it to the e-mail.

 

[buddy]

Did you hear anything today from them??

 

[HaoZi]

And yet, you know..you KNOW... had it been the other way, or had thank you hit the boy back, it would have been thank you they would have come down on with their zero tolerance policy immediately. Because that's how it is.

 

[susiestar]

We don't have zero tolerance. Not in any part of our schools. Common sense and figuring out hwat is going on is at the root for most of the schools, though I am sure there is some "do x get y" stuff. We have never had zero tolerance, partly because our schools are heavily influenced and funded by the local public education foundation (which helps with the long term financial planning and predicted the current econ problems years ago and is why the highest supply fee ever was $35 and there are no supply lists before middle school even now) and it is headed by people with some common sense. We had a few parents push for zero tolerance and even the school board told them flat out that it doesn't fit with the mission statement. Which is double speak for go away you whacko around here. It is yet another reason that we have NOT moved out of this town though husband drives over an hour to work.

So I don't thnk thank you would get suspended. The teacher was not at school today, so nothing will change until Mon. thank you is miserable with a cold, so I am glad he stayed home today.

 

[Hound dog]

If nothing is done, I'd let thank you belt him back, and let the chips fall. Otherwise this kid is just not gonna stop.

 

[susiestar]

I have no problems with thank you defending himself. He just won't do it. He looks EXACTLY like Wiz at that age (and has at every age) and he is determined to be NOTHING like that EVER. He cannot see any real reason to hit someone unless you are going to die from what they are doing. We have discussed this at various times over the years and it just never is something he wants to do.

on the other hand, he has several people convinced he is a clone of his big bro. Literally a clone. He has this deadpan thing down when he says stuff like that and some of these kids wouldn't know common sense if it bit them. He told them that creating a clone of Wiz was one of Wiz' homeschool assignments and because his Gpa was a science teacher and my uncle was a NASA aerospace engineer, we had access to stuff other people don't and we cloned him.

We will see what Monday brings.

 

[buddy]

I just love thank you...that is really funny. I bet there are many who believe him.

 

[susiestar]

Even funnier is he points to my mom, Jess and myself as further family cloning experiments. My gpa used to confuse pics of my mom at certain ages with me at those ages. thank you tells them we just "tweaked" Jess a bit so she is taller and tans, lol.

He is a great kid and we NEVER really know what is coming next. WHich is most of the fun!