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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 459557" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I'm not saying she's not hitting him or punishing him. Or rather, has perhaps been doing it previously. But whatever you believe privately, if you approach her with a public attitude of "I believe you but I also believe my child, perhaps this [compromise non-blame] is the answer, we can go forward this way," you have a better chance of a positive outcome.</p><p></p><p>I remember an incident with difficult child 3. A teacher (not his class teacher) who is also a personal friend and neighbour of ours, had (so another child I know told me) grabbed difficult child 3 by the shirt and physically dragged him. Not on. difficult child 3 did not tell me about it specifically (but he did report a problem interaction in broad), but I believed my witness. I went to the principal to report the incident. I would not say who told me, only that it had been reported to me by a reliable source. The principal investigated and told me nothing had happened. While I did not believe the principal (that teacher had a reputation for getting physical with students) I knew I had sent a message - don't touch my kid, I WILL know about it. And she never did it again.</p><p></p><p>I still get on well with this teacher, so does difficult child 3. He is very forgiving. Interestingly, their house is often targetted by local kids out for revenge. But I got much better results from any problem teachers by letting them know that I had standards that I required them to work to; I was part of the team and deserved to be kept in the loop just as I kept them in the loop; that I would insist that my child's needs be addressed and I was not going away until matters were arranged to my satisfaction. </p><p></p><p>I'm sure the principal knew that I did not believe him, but he wanted me to not take legal action. My main aim was not revenge, but to make the physical punishment stop. It did stop.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 459557, member: 1991"] I'm not saying she's not hitting him or punishing him. Or rather, has perhaps been doing it previously. But whatever you believe privately, if you approach her with a public attitude of "I believe you but I also believe my child, perhaps this [compromise non-blame] is the answer, we can go forward this way," you have a better chance of a positive outcome. I remember an incident with difficult child 3. A teacher (not his class teacher) who is also a personal friend and neighbour of ours, had (so another child I know told me) grabbed difficult child 3 by the shirt and physically dragged him. Not on. difficult child 3 did not tell me about it specifically (but he did report a problem interaction in broad), but I believed my witness. I went to the principal to report the incident. I would not say who told me, only that it had been reported to me by a reliable source. The principal investigated and told me nothing had happened. While I did not believe the principal (that teacher had a reputation for getting physical with students) I knew I had sent a message - don't touch my kid, I WILL know about it. And she never did it again. I still get on well with this teacher, so does difficult child 3. He is very forgiving. Interestingly, their house is often targetted by local kids out for revenge. But I got much better results from any problem teachers by letting them know that I had standards that I required them to work to; I was part of the team and deserved to be kept in the loop just as I kept them in the loop; that I would insist that my child's needs be addressed and I was not going away until matters were arranged to my satisfaction. I'm sure the principal knew that I did not believe him, but he wanted me to not take legal action. My main aim was not revenge, but to make the physical punishment stop. It did stop. Marg [/QUOTE]
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