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Putting 12 yo difficult child into Hospital
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 275078" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>husband seems ashamed that difficult child is in the hospital. I can understand him NOT wanting school to know. They can be so nasty and I have a sister who works as an aide in the public school system. Trust me, the teachers and aides sit around and degrade the parents--and it's, of course, always THEIR faults and they are armchair quarterbacks, self-righteously talking about what THEY would do differently. Of course, this is only at HER school, but it's troubling and probably happens elsewhere. However, in the end, I do think they have to know, although I'd be gritting my teeth as I told them, if it were me.</p><p></p><p>It seems as if there is a lot of "your kid" and "my kid" going on. I think you're right and YOU should be in charge of your kids and he should be in charge of his. I have a hard and fast rule that I never lie to my kids. I've told them things that maybe some would have tried to hide because I believe in the truth always being the best option (since it will likely come out anyway and then you will have destroyed your own child's trust in you). I don't like secrets and this could be because there are so many secrets in my own family of origin. But you can't force husband to be upfront with his daughter. I'd let him deal with her, but I'd tell MY kids the truth.</p><p></p><p>husband is a grown man of 47. I had to deal with my dysfunctional family too, but I pretty much resolved it by 35. Hub really does need to comes to terms already with his mother and other extended relatives. I know from experience that not coming to terms with it can affect how you relate to everyone else, even if you don't want to believe so. I hope he has a change for heart.</p><p></p><p>You are doing the right thing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 275078, member: 1550"] husband seems ashamed that difficult child is in the hospital. I can understand him NOT wanting school to know. They can be so nasty and I have a sister who works as an aide in the public school system. Trust me, the teachers and aides sit around and degrade the parents--and it's, of course, always THEIR faults and they are armchair quarterbacks, self-righteously talking about what THEY would do differently. Of course, this is only at HER school, but it's troubling and probably happens elsewhere. However, in the end, I do think they have to know, although I'd be gritting my teeth as I told them, if it were me. It seems as if there is a lot of "your kid" and "my kid" going on. I think you're right and YOU should be in charge of your kids and he should be in charge of his. I have a hard and fast rule that I never lie to my kids. I've told them things that maybe some would have tried to hide because I believe in the truth always being the best option (since it will likely come out anyway and then you will have destroyed your own child's trust in you). I don't like secrets and this could be because there are so many secrets in my own family of origin. But you can't force husband to be upfront with his daughter. I'd let him deal with her, but I'd tell MY kids the truth. husband is a grown man of 47. I had to deal with my dysfunctional family too, but I pretty much resolved it by 35. Hub really does need to comes to terms already with his mother and other extended relatives. I know from experience that not coming to terms with it can affect how you relate to everyone else, even if you don't want to believe so. I hope he has a change for heart. You are doing the right thing. [/QUOTE]
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