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Putting 12 yo difficult child into Hospital
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<blockquote data-quote="jcox" data-source="post: 275885" data-attributes="member: 6583"><p>My son Elijah who will be seven in July has been suffering from rages from his Bipolar and other diagnoses uncontrollably since he was three years old. He was on a few different medication regimines, but this past February we made the decision to place him inpatient in a child psychiatric unit for the first time. It was not really up to us where he went, because in my state the process is go to the ER, get a psychiatric evaluation by crisis services, then they call the places our insurance allows and find out who had a bed. I carried around a list of places that took medicaid in my purse with me labeled from 1-7. They found him a bed at #6 which was almost 2 hours away from here.</p><p> </p><p>That was the hardest decision I ever made in my life, but it was also the best thing I ever could have done for him. At first my heart felt like it was litteraly breaking, I had chest pains, and my stomach felt sick. He had never been long without me, had severe anxiety, hates change, and I had many worries. I worried if he would be sad without me? would they help him bathe, get dressed, etc? Would they comfort him when he was sad? Would he ever forgive us for leaving him there? Would he hold a grudge against us? Would he shut down more and not want us when he came home? Would they take good care of him? I remember all those worries and more running through my head. </p><p> </p><p>He was in the hospital for 15 days. He came home March 3rd. This is the first time in his life he has ever been truly happy. In the hospital they were able to change his medications with the benefit of watching over him 24/7. They could watch for side effects, make quicker changes, watch his behaviors, etc. He is finally stable now for the first time in his life. He still has behavioral issues of course which is expected with his diagnoses, but has not had a big rage since coming home, or touched innapropriatly which he did. He was a little scared the first few days, had anxiety, refused to eat... but after a few days he began participating in the groups where he learned some skills he still uses, excercises he still does, and developed relationships with some people there he still talks about. They did take good care of him. He began doing some things for himself that he did not do at home as well with his self care. He matured during his hospitalization too. He was not mad at us when he came home and was happy. He is like a totally different child. When I look back to the suicidal thoughts he was having last summer and in the past I now know that I should have got him admitted then, but my heart would not let me. If he ever needs to go again I will not hesitate on sending him as I did in the past because I know that he can be a sick little boy and reallly needs more help sometimes than we can give him. In the hospital because they were watching him all the time they also gave him his new diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). They were able to teach me a few things about the diagnosis to make our lives a little easier as well. </p><p> </p><p>I have a blog that I created where you can read about my son's hospitalization day by day in a journal I posted there. That might help reassure you. Send me a private message if you want to read it and I will send you an invite to it. </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">Elijah did charm the nurses and psychiatrists, but by about the forth day he began to show his true colors as well and began showing them some of his behavioral issues. We have not really thought about residential placements for Elijah yet, but my stepson has been in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) since last October and in DCF care voluntarily since last May. That is the only way we believe that we could have gotten him into the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was getting help through DCF.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">I don't think that raising a special needs child is what any of us ever dream of as parents. Have you ever read "Welcome to Holland"? It is an excellent poem about our expectations of parenting and the reality that is sometimes overlooked. Here is a link to that poem: <a href="http://www.our-kids.org/Archives/Holland.html" target="_blank">http://www.our-kids.org/Archives/Holland.html</a></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">Why do they release the kids so quickly? It usually comes down to insurance reasons. </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">I know the day will come when Elijah needs his next hospitalization, but for now we are rejoicing in the sunshine that came from his first one. Another thing... I don't want to sound like a bad parent for saying this, but after dealing with 1-4 hour rages several times a day for the past four years it was actually nice to have some time to recoup, think, and get some much needed rest. Of course that was after my initial few days of being extremely heartbroken. Then I realized that my son was safe. He was okay. I needed those weeks I got while he was away to recoup from all the physical, emotional, and mental termoil he put me through with his daily rages that often resulted in assaulting me. I did not have to worry about him every second. I did not have to worry about what he would do to me next. I did not have to worry about if he would be successful in hurting himself badly next time. </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">I know how hard this must be for you, but sadly I understand. Sometimes our children, especially those with BiPolar (BP), need hospitalizations like children with cancer and other seeable illnesses do. Somebody once said to me "If your son had cancer would you let him have Chemo"? I said "Of Course". </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">If you need to talk more feel free to email or private message me. You will be in my thoughts and heart.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">Janice</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jcox, post: 275885, member: 6583"] My son Elijah who will be seven in July has been suffering from rages from his Bipolar and other diagnoses uncontrollably since he was three years old. He was on a few different medication regimines, but this past February we made the decision to place him inpatient in a child psychiatric unit for the first time. It was not really up to us where he went, because in my state the process is go to the ER, get a psychiatric evaluation by crisis services, then they call the places our insurance allows and find out who had a bed. I carried around a list of places that took medicaid in my purse with me labeled from 1-7. They found him a bed at #6 which was almost 2 hours away from here. That was the hardest decision I ever made in my life, but it was also the best thing I ever could have done for him. At first my heart felt like it was litteraly breaking, I had chest pains, and my stomach felt sick. He had never been long without me, had severe anxiety, hates change, and I had many worries. I worried if he would be sad without me? would they help him bathe, get dressed, etc? Would they comfort him when he was sad? Would he ever forgive us for leaving him there? Would he hold a grudge against us? Would he shut down more and not want us when he came home? Would they take good care of him? I remember all those worries and more running through my head. He was in the hospital for 15 days. He came home March 3rd. This is the first time in his life he has ever been truly happy. In the hospital they were able to change his medications with the benefit of watching over him 24/7. They could watch for side effects, make quicker changes, watch his behaviors, etc. He is finally stable now for the first time in his life. He still has behavioral issues of course which is expected with his diagnoses, but has not had a big rage since coming home, or touched innapropriatly which he did. He was a little scared the first few days, had anxiety, refused to eat... but after a few days he began participating in the groups where he learned some skills he still uses, excercises he still does, and developed relationships with some people there he still talks about. They did take good care of him. He began doing some things for himself that he did not do at home as well with his self care. He matured during his hospitalization too. He was not mad at us when he came home and was happy. He is like a totally different child. When I look back to the suicidal thoughts he was having last summer and in the past I now know that I should have got him admitted then, but my heart would not let me. If he ever needs to go again I will not hesitate on sending him as I did in the past because I know that he can be a sick little boy and reallly needs more help sometimes than we can give him. In the hospital because they were watching him all the time they also gave him his new diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). They were able to teach me a few things about the diagnosis to make our lives a little easier as well. I have a blog that I created where you can read about my son's hospitalization day by day in a journal I posted there. That might help reassure you. Send me a private message if you want to read it and I will send you an invite to it. [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]Elijah did charm the nurses and psychiatrists, but by about the forth day he began to show his true colors as well and began showing them some of his behavioral issues. We have not really thought about residential placements for Elijah yet, but my stepson has been in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) since last October and in DCF care voluntarily since last May. That is the only way we believe that we could have gotten him into the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was getting help through DCF.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]I don't think that raising a special needs child is what any of us ever dream of as parents. Have you ever read "Welcome to Holland"? It is an excellent poem about our expectations of parenting and the reality that is sometimes overlooked. Here is a link to that poem: [URL]http://www.our-kids.org/Archives/Holland.html[/URL][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]Why do they release the kids so quickly? It usually comes down to insurance reasons. [/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]I know the day will come when Elijah needs his next hospitalization, but for now we are rejoicing in the sunshine that came from his first one. Another thing... I don't want to sound like a bad parent for saying this, but after dealing with 1-4 hour rages several times a day for the past four years it was actually nice to have some time to recoup, think, and get some much needed rest. Of course that was after my initial few days of being extremely heartbroken. Then I realized that my son was safe. He was okay. I needed those weeks I got while he was away to recoup from all the physical, emotional, and mental termoil he put me through with his daily rages that often resulted in assaulting me. I did not have to worry about him every second. I did not have to worry about what he would do to me next. I did not have to worry about if he would be successful in hurting himself badly next time. [/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]I know how hard this must be for you, but sadly I understand. Sometimes our children, especially those with BiPolar (BP), need hospitalizations like children with cancer and other seeable illnesses do. Somebody once said to me "If your son had cancer would you let him have Chemo"? I said "Of Course". [/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]If you need to talk more feel free to email or private message me. You will be in my thoughts and heart.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]Janice[/COLOR][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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