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<blockquote data-quote="svengandhi" data-source="post: 564274" data-attributes="member: 3493"><p>I agree with Janet 100%. I don't believe J has the cognitive ability at this time to completely understand. ..</p><p></p><p>Part 1: He knows he can only go home by himself if he has permission so he says he does. He doesn't have the ability to think ahead to what will happen if he goes home and mommy isn't there. The solution for that is to inform the school that UNLESS there is a written note from you (I am assuming he can't forge your writing, yet) he can not leave early, no matter what he says and no matter what the school policy is otherwise. They are now on notice that J will say what he needs to if he wants to leave early. The alternative is that if he wants to come home early, the school must call and inform you - in person and not by voice mail - that he wants to leave and you can say yes or no.</p><p></p><p>Part 2: I think that the injury is probably a sufficient punishment at this point. I also don't believe that he intended to vandalize your home and I also think that if he had been alone with you, he'd have told you the truth from the outset. He has to process this lesson - if you do what you aren't allowed to, you can get hurt. This can be a good teaching moment. Grown-ups make and enforce rules not because we hate kids and want to punish them but because we love them and care about them and want to protect them from bad things they don't even know about yet.</p><p></p><p>Maybe if you remind him every day (although you probably already do) that he can't just leave school. Tell him that you have errands to do and you may not be home and he could get hurt again. He probably needs to be reminded every day. However, in my opinion, the school should be on the watch to make sure this doesn't happen again. I also wouldn't let him come home every day early - there needs to be a good reason.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="svengandhi, post: 564274, member: 3493"] I agree with Janet 100%. I don't believe J has the cognitive ability at this time to completely understand. .. Part 1: He knows he can only go home by himself if he has permission so he says he does. He doesn't have the ability to think ahead to what will happen if he goes home and mommy isn't there. The solution for that is to inform the school that UNLESS there is a written note from you (I am assuming he can't forge your writing, yet) he can not leave early, no matter what he says and no matter what the school policy is otherwise. They are now on notice that J will say what he needs to if he wants to leave early. The alternative is that if he wants to come home early, the school must call and inform you - in person and not by voice mail - that he wants to leave and you can say yes or no. Part 2: I think that the injury is probably a sufficient punishment at this point. I also don't believe that he intended to vandalize your home and I also think that if he had been alone with you, he'd have told you the truth from the outset. He has to process this lesson - if you do what you aren't allowed to, you can get hurt. This can be a good teaching moment. Grown-ups make and enforce rules not because we hate kids and want to punish them but because we love them and care about them and want to protect them from bad things they don't even know about yet. Maybe if you remind him every day (although you probably already do) that he can't just leave school. Tell him that you have errands to do and you may not be home and he could get hurt again. He probably needs to be reminded every day. However, in my opinion, the school should be on the watch to make sure this doesn't happen again. I also wouldn't let him come home every day early - there needs to be a good reason. [/QUOTE]
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