Question about group homes
- Thread starter klmno
- Start date
klmno
Active Member
thank you slsh- I always find a lot of support in your repsonses. Others, too, of course, but you and DJ seem to be able to hit home a lot with me. LOL!
Now what is weird about this- this group home does have and allow short term stays. There is NO reason that PO and GH couldn't have difficult child stay there a few weeks or a couple of mos to see how he's going to do and give us time to have some family therapy. That is all I ask for when PO was TRYING to force me into difficult child coming straight home, and threatening dss if I didn't. That is when I first went and consulted an attny. THEN a fed grant came thru for this GH. Now, I do understand that my difficult child lies a lot. But when it comes to stuff in this Department of Juvenile Justice system, he really does seem to be able to find out the scoop while I am always buying into BS I'm being told just to manipulate me. This has happened time and time again over the past few years.
Re-entry lady is chomping at the bit to get difficult child in as much as she can- she would settle for the in-home stuff but looks extremely happy at any previous mention of GH. PO acts like GH and re-entry program is most wonderfule thing in the world and how 'lucky we are to get approved for it'. Their website says it had to close when state funding got cut but has recently re-opened due to a fed grant. Re-entry lady told me herself that they were trying to find a "MH prof" to get on board and couldn't answer many of my questions because 'they were still scrambling to get things in place since fed grant was recieved for re'entry program".
This lady has never even mentioned the possibility of a short term sstay for difficult child- she is pushing long-term.
difficult child tells me she is taking anyone she can get in there because they just started this program.
I'm thinking they are doing this because they have to get kids to get funding and keep it and afford to get the staff they really need. AKA- they don't know what they are doing and PO is trying to support GH, not pay attention to difficult child's needs. And because he doesn't want to take the time to think about what really might help difficult child the most and make all three of us happy.
As far as difficult child, my feeling is that his time in Department of Juvenile Justice earning his way out was his punishment. That doesn't mean I think it's in either of our best interest for him to come straight home. But I don't think it's fair to him to send him to another place, particualrly a dump, where there is a min length of stay and he has to work his way out of there- doing yet another anger management program. This time should be focused on transition and reunification, in my humble opinion. All I asked for was a few weeks to 3 mos and it being based on whether or not difficult child was trying this time and making sure I wasn't plowing into another crisis, inasmuch as possible. Not that I thought all the problems would be solved by then, but it should be clear by then if difficult child can handle tough emotional issues without exploding and if he really has learned a lesson and is just plain trying this time.
Now what is weird about this- this group home does have and allow short term stays. There is NO reason that PO and GH couldn't have difficult child stay there a few weeks or a couple of mos to see how he's going to do and give us time to have some family therapy. That is all I ask for when PO was TRYING to force me into difficult child coming straight home, and threatening dss if I didn't. That is when I first went and consulted an attny. THEN a fed grant came thru for this GH. Now, I do understand that my difficult child lies a lot. But when it comes to stuff in this Department of Juvenile Justice system, he really does seem to be able to find out the scoop while I am always buying into BS I'm being told just to manipulate me. This has happened time and time again over the past few years.
Re-entry lady is chomping at the bit to get difficult child in as much as she can- she would settle for the in-home stuff but looks extremely happy at any previous mention of GH. PO acts like GH and re-entry program is most wonderfule thing in the world and how 'lucky we are to get approved for it'. Their website says it had to close when state funding got cut but has recently re-opened due to a fed grant. Re-entry lady told me herself that they were trying to find a "MH prof" to get on board and couldn't answer many of my questions because 'they were still scrambling to get things in place since fed grant was recieved for re'entry program".
This lady has never even mentioned the possibility of a short term sstay for difficult child- she is pushing long-term.
difficult child tells me she is taking anyone she can get in there because they just started this program.
I'm thinking they are doing this because they have to get kids to get funding and keep it and afford to get the staff they really need. AKA- they don't know what they are doing and PO is trying to support GH, not pay attention to difficult child's needs. And because he doesn't want to take the time to think about what really might help difficult child the most and make all three of us happy.
As far as difficult child, my feeling is that his time in Department of Juvenile Justice earning his way out was his punishment. That doesn't mean I think it's in either of our best interest for him to come straight home. But I don't think it's fair to him to send him to another place, particualrly a dump, where there is a min length of stay and he has to work his way out of there- doing yet another anger management program. This time should be focused on transition and reunification, in my humble opinion. All I asked for was a few weeks to 3 mos and it being based on whether or not difficult child was trying this time and making sure I wasn't plowing into another crisis, inasmuch as possible. Not that I thought all the problems would be solved by then, but it should be clear by then if difficult child can handle tough emotional issues without exploding and if he really has learned a lesson and is just plain trying this time.
klmno
Active Member
thank you, DDD. And I should have worded that post differently- I have no doubt that I still have PTSD. But I also know that I am not imagining what difficult child difficult child has done and I can't stick my head in the sand about it. That doens't mean I think our relationship is hopeless. I do think if we can work thru it, he'll have much better chance for success in life and be much less likely to be a domestic abuser as an adult. If I stuff it and continue acting like it's a typical teen thing and not domestic violence, I honestly believe that he is likely to become a domestic abuser and/or violent in the community. I can't buy into the belief that a fourth anger management course is going to solve this.
I aprreciate your support and understanding. I am willing to go to therapy for this type issue and other family issues with him as long as it's not just behavior mod, which really doesn't address it, and as long as I don't have to worry about getting physically threatened or hurt by him afterwards. I don't think all would or could be solved in 3 mos or less, but it will be clear by then if difficult child is trying and the crux of the worst emotional stuff should be on the table and we can see if difficult child can maintain without becoming physically agressive by then. We could continue family therapy with him living with me after that, I am fine with that.
I aprreciate your support and understanding. I am willing to go to therapy for this type issue and other family issues with him as long as it's not just behavior mod, which really doesn't address it, and as long as I don't have to worry about getting physically threatened or hurt by him afterwards. I don't think all would or could be solved in 3 mos or less, but it will be clear by then if difficult child is trying and the crux of the worst emotional stuff should be on the table and we can see if difficult child can maintain without becoming physically agressive by then. We could continue family therapy with him living with me after that, I am fine with that.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
Besides the obvious facts of getting them a certified copy of the BC and SSC, which is what they will just have to accept, I understand your complete anger at this. This is completely unfair to you who was the victim in all of this. I dont get the whole parental rights thing either.
klmno
Active Member
Thx, DJ. I sure hope I can find an attny and judge who thinks that way. It would help a lot if my attny (to be) gets a GAL on board who won't just believe anything this CSU says. That's a big part of the prioblem- the people who work in this state's juvie csu are yound, inexperienced and very cliqueish- they prefer to get along with their 'co-workers', especially when they are early on in their career. It amazes me what they can stick their heads in the sand over.
But the parental rights thing- first, I have learned not to believe everything this PO tells me. Second, if parents lose all parental rights but still have to do all this when it's the parent who turned the kid in to hold them accountable and has NEVER been found to have an issue contributing to it- I can't help but think there should be a fed law somewhere that doesn't allow this. This is why I want bigger laws and bigger people lloking into this koi. This is why I feel so strongly about a letter to our state legislation- the people in CSU are really pushing for results that are contrary to what the state people believe are needed, and maybe to the media so parents hear about it, and on the fed level- is this really what they thought their moeny was going to?
But the parental rights thing- first, I have learned not to believe everything this PO tells me. Second, if parents lose all parental rights but still have to do all this when it's the parent who turned the kid in to hold them accountable and has NEVER been found to have an issue contributing to it- I can't help but think there should be a fed law somewhere that doesn't allow this. This is why I want bigger laws and bigger people lloking into this koi. This is why I feel so strongly about a letter to our state legislation- the people in CSU are really pushing for results that are contrary to what the state people believe are needed, and maybe to the media so parents hear about it, and on the fed level- is this really what they thought their moeny was going to?
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
Thats the thing...I would totally understand this whole thing if your son had stabbed you because you had gone after him in a drunken brawl beating the hell out of him with an axe handle. That would make sense to me. Then I could see that the courts would want to watch over a parent who had abused their child so badly that the child ended up so messed up that they committed a crime. That I get. That is who they should watch over intensely.
I even understand the fact that difficult child needs to be under some form of probation when he gets out but the terms need to match what he did to get in there and anything he has done while in there. Services should be in place with juveniles to do whatever they can to hopefully keep them from becoming adult offenders.
I even understand the fact that difficult child needs to be under some form of probation when he gets out but the terms need to match what he did to get in there and anything he has done while in there. Services should be in place with juveniles to do whatever they can to hopefully keep them from becoming adult offenders.
JJJ
Active Member
All of Kanga's placements required a certified birth certificate and her ss card. Under federal law, once the child has been placed out of your home for 90 days, they qualify for ssi and the medicaid card. The ssi money (minus $30 which if difficult child's allowance) goes to the group home and they use the medical card to cover some of what your insurance does not. You can get an unlimited amount of official birth certificates and up to 5 ss cards in a lifetime. WRT to school, our state law requires me to enroll Kanga in our local public school; then the Residential Treatment Center (RTC)/group home arranges for her enrollment in their TDS and they bill our home district.
The goal of all of it is to spread out the financial burden of our million-dollar-babies. For Kanga, her treatment costs around $150K per year: our local school pays $35K, ssi covers about $8K, medicaid covers a significant chunk and a state grant picks up whatever is left.
Kanga's RTCs all took 'temporary physical custody' of Kanga as well as having a limited power of attorney to act in loco parentis for day-to-day activities and for emergencies until they could reach us; but we retained full parental rights and could overrule them at will as well as withdraw our consents at any time. Since you difficult child is under Department of Juvenile Justice custody, I'm sure there are some limits on your parental authority as long as he is still under their jurisdiction.
Personally, I think it being a long-term group home that prepares him for independent living is a good thing. Once he clears probation, then you and he can choose whether or not he moves in with you. If he feels that he can live independently but chooses to live with you, it will be a very different dynamic than if he feels 'stuck' in your home.
The goal of all of it is to spread out the financial burden of our million-dollar-babies. For Kanga, her treatment costs around $150K per year: our local school pays $35K, ssi covers about $8K, medicaid covers a significant chunk and a state grant picks up whatever is left.
Kanga's RTCs all took 'temporary physical custody' of Kanga as well as having a limited power of attorney to act in loco parentis for day-to-day activities and for emergencies until they could reach us; but we retained full parental rights and could overrule them at will as well as withdraw our consents at any time. Since you difficult child is under Department of Juvenile Justice custody, I'm sure there are some limits on your parental authority as long as he is still under their jurisdiction.
Personally, I think it being a long-term group home that prepares him for independent living is a good thing. Once he clears probation, then you and he can choose whether or not he moves in with you. If he feels that he can live independently but chooses to live with you, it will be a very different dynamic than if he feels 'stuck' in your home.
klmno
Active Member
That's exactly my point, too, DJ.
And, the state is backing that families need to be reunited when possible (not in extreme cases like your examples). Money comes in- local jurisdictions just keep spending it to do more of the same. It reminds me of when discrimination became illegal- the local people spent years going thru loopholes just doing what they'd always done before 'bigger' people stepped in enough to make a change on a local, ITRW, change,. The same with accessibility laws and Special Education laws- heck - look at the local jurisdictions that still try to pull koi on a parent in IEP meetings- 'we voted on it so you have to agree and sign'. The general public really doesn't know this is against the law. How hard is it to find an attny to back you up against a local agency that a typical American can afford?
People complain that 'parents won't raise their kids'- the majority of parents DO try to raise their kids- in spite of a sd telling them how to, the threat of dss called in if they discipline them, and Department of Juvenile Justice taking over their lives when they hold their kid accountable. It's the local govs trying to raise the kids- actions speak louder than words.
And, the state is backing that families need to be reunited when possible (not in extreme cases like your examples). Money comes in- local jurisdictions just keep spending it to do more of the same. It reminds me of when discrimination became illegal- the local people spent years going thru loopholes just doing what they'd always done before 'bigger' people stepped in enough to make a change on a local, ITRW, change,. The same with accessibility laws and Special Education laws- heck - look at the local jurisdictions that still try to pull koi on a parent in IEP meetings- 'we voted on it so you have to agree and sign'. The general public really doesn't know this is against the law. How hard is it to find an attny to back you up against a local agency that a typical American can afford?
People complain that 'parents won't raise their kids'- the majority of parents DO try to raise their kids- in spite of a sd telling them how to, the threat of dss called in if they discipline them, and Department of Juvenile Justice taking over their lives when they hold their kid accountable. It's the local govs trying to raise the kids- actions speak louder than words.
klmno
Active Member
JJJ, I don't know if that is due to a MH disability for Kanga- I just don't know- medicaid dropped difficult child when he went to the custody of Department of Juvenile Justice- he doesn't qualify for squat as a MH issue. They can't claim him independent. I'm not getting answers from PO or anybody on this kind of stuff- I get pats on the head and 'don't worry about it'.
I don't quite get how my parental rights lessen if difficult child is in a group home from what they are when he's incarcerated in Department of Juvenile Justice. The thing is- if PO has this as 'the goal'- to get difficult child on his own- then why has he told me otherwise? And he bought into this woman's push for long term group home so quickly, does he even know this is what is going on? I want an attny to call the super- I can't figure out how much of POs words are just meant to manipulate me, how much are his not knowing, how much are his not being decisive, etc....this is their way in our CSU. KOI- if you have control and responsibility- tell the truth, Know what I mean?? Why is a PO telling me that rreunification and coming back home is the goal if it really isn't? Then turning around blaming me or making me look like a fool because iI expect to have some input on that?
I do know that I had consultations with 2 different attnys here a few mos ago and both told me that my last jurisdiction lied to me and that I should have had representation, even though it was difficult child in court. I never knew- it was my son that broke the law and I was trying to support the system. He had a defense attny and a GAL. My money went to services for him and attnys for him as long as I could afford private ones and an attny to fight that custody case from my bro. WTH did I need an attny?
They know they have a problem with parents walking from kids once the kid is in Department of Juvenile Justice in this state- it isn't always due to the parent being unfit or wanting to disown the kid. Seriously, this seems stupid to me- they could spend less money and help difficult child and give us a chance to reunite, in my humble opinion, for a lot less cost than this. But then, I said the same things about difficult child going to Department of Juvenile Justice to begin with- in agreement with the MH profs.
I'm not sure how to address difficult child feeling stuck living with me- he feels pretty stuck in Department of Juvenile Justice and sometimes behaves and sometimes doesn't; don;'t most teens feel stuck? Don't most teens have rules and expectations and pray for the day they reach adulthood and 'can do whatever they want'? The difference, in my humble opinion, is that when difficult child is in Department of Juvenile Justice, he KNOWS he has no choice. When he lives with me, he knows he's bigger than me.
I don't quite get how my parental rights lessen if difficult child is in a group home from what they are when he's incarcerated in Department of Juvenile Justice. The thing is- if PO has this as 'the goal'- to get difficult child on his own- then why has he told me otherwise? And he bought into this woman's push for long term group home so quickly, does he even know this is what is going on? I want an attny to call the super- I can't figure out how much of POs words are just meant to manipulate me, how much are his not knowing, how much are his not being decisive, etc....this is their way in our CSU. KOI- if you have control and responsibility- tell the truth, Know what I mean?? Why is a PO telling me that rreunification and coming back home is the goal if it really isn't? Then turning around blaming me or making me look like a fool because iI expect to have some input on that?
I do know that I had consultations with 2 different attnys here a few mos ago and both told me that my last jurisdiction lied to me and that I should have had representation, even though it was difficult child in court. I never knew- it was my son that broke the law and I was trying to support the system. He had a defense attny and a GAL. My money went to services for him and attnys for him as long as I could afford private ones and an attny to fight that custody case from my bro. WTH did I need an attny?
They know they have a problem with parents walking from kids once the kid is in Department of Juvenile Justice in this state- it isn't always due to the parent being unfit or wanting to disown the kid. Seriously, this seems stupid to me- they could spend less money and help difficult child and give us a chance to reunite, in my humble opinion, for a lot less cost than this. But then, I said the same things about difficult child going to Department of Juvenile Justice to begin with- in agreement with the MH profs.
I'm not sure how to address difficult child feeling stuck living with me- he feels pretty stuck in Department of Juvenile Justice and sometimes behaves and sometimes doesn't; don;'t most teens feel stuck? Don't most teens have rules and expectations and pray for the day they reach adulthood and 'can do whatever they want'? The difference, in my humble opinion, is that when difficult child is in Department of Juvenile Justice, he KNOWS he has no choice. When he lives with me, he knows he's bigger than me.
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exhausted
Active Member
When our daughter was in jjs custody, she did get medical card and our insurance was primary. Anything not covered by our insurance was to be paid by medicaid. We paid dearly each month while she was in state Residential Treatment Center (RTC). They tried to keep us at arms length and di not like our involvement because most of the kids there didn't even have parents. The few that did had parents in jail or foster parents that were not involved. We were told by our jjs worker(only sane person we worked with), that we had parental rights as any other parent. The Residential Treatment Center (RTC) continually violated those. They also neglected medical needs etc. etc. Seeing a lawyer noe is a good idea. We did not until it was too late. I have not one good story to pass on to you about state RTCs or group homes. In my NAMI group and as a teacher, I have heard only nightmares. The people who were armed with legal knowledge have faired the best. The relationships are a bit tough with the professionals(they don't like the extra work it takes to contact and keep you in the loop), but these people get what they want and your kid is better cared for. There is some risk of retaliation against your child. We did have this when we insisted on weekly updates on progress (which they were supposed to give to the jjs worker and never did either). Good luck-this is so hard. Hugs
klmno
Active Member
That's what I was afraid of and how this place is looking. Also, is iit just a funding thing for them to be pushing for difficult child to have a long term stay instead of a short term when it makes no sense at all to get a 4th anger management 'treatment' (that's what he's dooing in Department of Juvenile Justice now and this place will require him to do another one) when there is a home he can go to? There are plenty of other boys who need this more than difficult child so I find it hard to believe they need the openings filled, but difficult child told me they are grabbing boys for that program to fill it as fast as they can. They have short term placementts and long term - the long term has a min stay, this program requirement, and a behavior contract they have to work there way thru. It is the SAME program they use as a diversion to Department of Juvenile Justice for first time offenders and it is used as a sentence somwetimes. How on earth can someone say this is what a reentry program should be and try to claim it's not the same as another sentence when difficult child just finished his sentence of incarcerated time? So, this just isn't MY legal beef- I'm thinking difficult child needs someone looking into this on his behalf, too.
It was being used for the types of things I mentioned above but had to close due to state funding being cut. Now they just rec'd a fed grant to use for a reentry program. They are taking the same method/requirements they had been using as a dispositional program (sentence) and plopped it down as their reentry program. It sounds like double jeopardy to me. They're claiming it's reentry because they do things like get difficult child reenrolled in sd. Really? Like I haven't done that before? I wonder what the requirements are for that fed grant for a qualified reentry program. How can I find that out?
It was being used for the types of things I mentioned above but had to close due to state funding being cut. Now they just rec'd a fed grant to use for a reentry program. They are taking the same method/requirements they had been using as a dispositional program (sentence) and plopped it down as their reentry program. It sounds like double jeopardy to me. They're claiming it's reentry because they do things like get difficult child reenrolled in sd. Really? Like I haven't done that before? I wonder what the requirements are for that fed grant for a qualified reentry program. How can I find that out?
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
I wonder what would happen if you just told the PO that you had thought about it and he had given you two choices in the beginning of one being difficult child coming straight home with the ankle bracelet and the other going to the group home and you have decided after "CONSULTING AN ATTORNEY" that you want your son to come home. I wouldnt say what the attorney told you or who it is or anything else. Just use those words. Let them stew. Trust me, someone in there knows they have messed up and they dont want scrutiny.
klmno
Active Member
Oh DJ- this PO hates me now. I think what happened is that he got his butt chewed out on Mon by his super and insttead of calling me Tues and saying that things had changed due to a meeting with his super or something like that, he called me going off about them being the ones to write the treatment program not me, when he'd left things with me that it was my choice and he recommended difficult child coming home- 3 days earlier. This conversation got sooooo bad- we were both more than livid with each other, then I slammed the phone on him. This whole thing has turned into another situation like we had with that probation officer. Remember? difficult child had been in psychiatric hospital 5-6 times in 2-3 mos and was starting to wave a knife in front of me at home, while cutting himself, too. PO wouldn't do anything except order me to do more- all of which I had already done- keep difficult child supervised 24/7, remove sharp objects from home, etc. That was it, so I fought and got it in front of county team and they made PO do something so she ordered inhome therapy- paid for with Department of Juvenile Justice funding which means it was going to be aa behavior contract and this was going to start up about 3-4 weeks down the road. Like that was going to help that crisis??? And in less than a week, difficult child pulled that knife on me. Then the same PO refused to consider Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or ANYTHING other than commitment to Department of Juvenile Justice. I feel like this is similar. I refused for difficult child to come straight home with same 'plan' (aka nothing) as last year, so now it's become a group home that will probably have difficult child until he's over 18. I would have thought super's would prevent orders that appear to be based on retaliation against a parent, but apparently they don't step in and do anything. This guy just started working as a PO in this jurisdiction about 6 mos ago so I wonder if he has a probationary period and ggets scrutinized on his decisions?
As example of how bad things got our last conversation- I told PO I thought difficult child needed to be on an ankle bracelet whether he went to group home or came straight home. He said that I didn't get to make that decision and difficult child would be on one if he was coming to my house but wouldn't be if he went to group home unless he started misbehaving and the determined then that he did. I reminded him that the lady said they can't stop difficult child from sneaking out at night or being truant and have no staff awake at night. He well, they would wait and see but it would be them to make the determination. Now, I didn't think I was trying to question his authority- I thought I was letting him know info he needed to know. Anyway, he spewed on a little more about them having authority not me and I said this wasn't me trying to tell him what to do, it was a warning of what my difficult child most likely will do. I ciould hear his blood boil at that point. I must be stupid b./c I really don't get why a PO would get so upset over a parent telling them this type of info. They get mad whe a parent doesn't inform them so WTH?
I told last PO I thought difficult child needed a monitor and he didn't get all in an uproar over it or take it like I was questioning his authority. Now, that probation officer a few years ago was like this PO. It has to be their idea or it's nnot happening, no matter how sensible the suggestion from the parent is.
As example of how bad things got our last conversation- I told PO I thought difficult child needed to be on an ankle bracelet whether he went to group home or came straight home. He said that I didn't get to make that decision and difficult child would be on one if he was coming to my house but wouldn't be if he went to group home unless he started misbehaving and the determined then that he did. I reminded him that the lady said they can't stop difficult child from sneaking out at night or being truant and have no staff awake at night. He well, they would wait and see but it would be them to make the determination. Now, I didn't think I was trying to question his authority- I thought I was letting him know info he needed to know. Anyway, he spewed on a little more about them having authority not me and I said this wasn't me trying to tell him what to do, it was a warning of what my difficult child most likely will do. I ciould hear his blood boil at that point. I must be stupid b./c I really don't get why a PO would get so upset over a parent telling them this type of info. They get mad whe a parent doesn't inform them so WTH?
I told last PO I thought difficult child needed a monitor and he didn't get all in an uproar over it or take it like I was questioning his authority. Now, that probation officer a few years ago was like this PO. It has to be their idea or it's nnot happening, no matter how sensible the suggestion from the parent is.
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rejectedmom
New Member
In my experience yes I had to give all this to the group home. I had very little responsibility after difficult child was there. As far as the Sd goes I cannot answer for that as my difficult child was out of school by the time he went to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or group home.
buddy
New Member
You know, In reading this I think I know why your story is hitting me so hard, first because I really feel for you, and grieve for the loss of a connection right now....
secondly, I think the p/o reminds me of the psychiatric at teh school....(and the other admin a little but as a group--) So, your post made me therapize myself (Nice word huh?) This is really THEIR issue. (yes it affects our children, but I mean in terms of the actual communication incidents). These a holes really are messed up and that is their issue. We need to focus on what we can do I guess.... they are wildcards. Your situation is an extreme and I am not saying it compares in any way in that sense. Just reinforced that this is not my issue (psychiatric demanding things and getting ticked off over my not cooperating, in his mind)
Your information was responsible and appropriate. You are being a good parent. You are NOT responsible for his reactions to you. It is unprofessional to treat any parent this way. He IS lying and will pay for it in the end.... someday...karma
secondly, I think the p/o reminds me of the psychiatric at teh school....(and the other admin a little but as a group--) So, your post made me therapize myself (Nice word huh?) This is really THEIR issue. (yes it affects our children, but I mean in terms of the actual communication incidents). These a holes really are messed up and that is their issue. We need to focus on what we can do I guess.... they are wildcards. Your situation is an extreme and I am not saying it compares in any way in that sense. Just reinforced that this is not my issue (psychiatric demanding things and getting ticked off over my not cooperating, in his mind)
Your information was responsible and appropriate. You are being a good parent. You are NOT responsible for his reactions to you. It is unprofessional to treat any parent this way. He IS lying and will pay for it in the end.... someday...karma
klmno
Active Member
I don't know Buddy- this system is designed where whenever something is ordered, whether it's a behavior contract or whatever, and it doesn't work, it's either the parent's fault or the kid's fault or both- it is not legal in this state to hold the person who ordered whatever to be held accountable for ordering 'the wrong thing' or hold the provider they paid for accountable, even if there are recommendations from profs outside the system who have more prof credentials stating something else should have been provided. I'm still waiting for difficult child's probation officer from some year's ago to pay her price- I've given up. I do appreciate your support and understanding though.
klmno
Active Member
It's pretty hard to prove mal-intent against a PO or attny, etc. Not only is this state one where people working in any agency like DSS, Department of Juvenile Justice, etc are not held legally liable, when I spoke to an attny aout stuff that happened in last jurisdiction, she said I'd pretty much have to be able to prove that difficult child would have improved if they had ordered what MH prof's recommended. I still think that's a stretch- the psychiatrist had signed a Certificate of Need for services and they tossed it and sent difficult child to Department of Juvenile Justice.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
I just cant think of a way to fix this. Can you transfer custody?
