I am asking this so that I can be more supportive to those who have loved ones in sober houses. My experiences with rehab come from my brother who went through this while I lived 13 hours away and couldn't help the day to day if I wanted to. I don't have a parent's experience but I have a siblings from a sister who knew about the problem decades before anyone else even admitted that there might maybe possibly be inappropriate behavior, much less a real problem.
Once an addict is out of rehab, which is full time for 30-90 days depending on program, what does one do while in a sober house? I think there are some here, but not many as we are not a large town. It would seem logical, to me, for an addict in recovery to get a job to work to help pay for the sober living facility. I know many parents are willing to pay for this as a way to help, and I think that is awesome and would want to do that for my child if he/she needed it and was ready to try it. I know those in sober houses go to meetings, but many do not seem to have jobs or go to school.
WOuld it be logical for them to find part time employement to help fill their time gainfully rather than to sit all day and think about sobriety and/or using? Is there a program at the sober house that they go through to deal with problems (thinking of therapist type therapy programs?) or are they free except for chores and going to meetings?
I am NOT asking because I think someone's difficult child shoudl get a job or not. I am asking because I honestly do not know, and I want to support parents here and don't want to suggest something and be totally off track and out of line. I don't actually know anyone in real life who has gone to sober living and spoken to me about it. Those i have heard at meetings (AA, alanon) have spoken of working to find something to fill their time after rehab so that they don't spend it thinking of using all the time. Personally, I know when I have lots to do I get way more done than when I am lightly scheduled because it is easier to do things when you are up and running and busy. NOt sure I said that clearly. I mean that when I was in college, the semesters that I had the best grades were the ones when I was jam-packed busy with classes, a job, volunteer work, etc.... The semesters that I didn't work in addition to going to school (and I was blessed to have parents who let me have that luxury and I knew even then that it was a HUGE luxury), my grades were not nearly as good. I had a lot more free time so I procrastinated and wasted a LOT of time then didn't pay the attention I should have to my studies. It was totally counter-intuitive, but the busier i was the higher my grades were and the more amazing things I was able to do. As a mom, when we have a light schedule I just don't get much done but when we are on the go all week I seem to get more done around the house. Not sure if that means I am lazy when home, but if I am busier I approach chores more effectively, or so it seems.
If this question is out of line, please delete it - I won't be upset. I simply don't know how sober houses work. Thank you. PLEASE understand it is a very sincere question. I have a child in college and a teen and a tween, and if this is in their future it will be somewhat easier if I know how it works and have more reasonable expectations.
Once an addict is out of rehab, which is full time for 30-90 days depending on program, what does one do while in a sober house? I think there are some here, but not many as we are not a large town. It would seem logical, to me, for an addict in recovery to get a job to work to help pay for the sober living facility. I know many parents are willing to pay for this as a way to help, and I think that is awesome and would want to do that for my child if he/she needed it and was ready to try it. I know those in sober houses go to meetings, but many do not seem to have jobs or go to school.
WOuld it be logical for them to find part time employement to help fill their time gainfully rather than to sit all day and think about sobriety and/or using? Is there a program at the sober house that they go through to deal with problems (thinking of therapist type therapy programs?) or are they free except for chores and going to meetings?
I am NOT asking because I think someone's difficult child shoudl get a job or not. I am asking because I honestly do not know, and I want to support parents here and don't want to suggest something and be totally off track and out of line. I don't actually know anyone in real life who has gone to sober living and spoken to me about it. Those i have heard at meetings (AA, alanon) have spoken of working to find something to fill their time after rehab so that they don't spend it thinking of using all the time. Personally, I know when I have lots to do I get way more done than when I am lightly scheduled because it is easier to do things when you are up and running and busy. NOt sure I said that clearly. I mean that when I was in college, the semesters that I had the best grades were the ones when I was jam-packed busy with classes, a job, volunteer work, etc.... The semesters that I didn't work in addition to going to school (and I was blessed to have parents who let me have that luxury and I knew even then that it was a HUGE luxury), my grades were not nearly as good. I had a lot more free time so I procrastinated and wasted a LOT of time then didn't pay the attention I should have to my studies. It was totally counter-intuitive, but the busier i was the higher my grades were and the more amazing things I was able to do. As a mom, when we have a light schedule I just don't get much done but when we are on the go all week I seem to get more done around the house. Not sure if that means I am lazy when home, but if I am busier I approach chores more effectively, or so it seems.
If this question is out of line, please delete it - I won't be upset. I simply don't know how sober houses work. Thank you. PLEASE understand it is a very sincere question. I have a child in college and a teen and a tween, and if this is in their future it will be somewhat easier if I know how it works and have more reasonable expectations.