Question: Do you think raising difficult children makes us more open to a cynical sense of humor?

[nvts]

Just curious I guess. I've been told that I tend to see things with humor, but I get the biggest kick out of cynicism/sarcasm. Now in the past, I've always found that type of humor funny, but not hysterical. After I made an observation on facebook - I was told that my outlook on life is based on cynicism or irony.

I always thought of myself as rather "open to the joke", willing to laugh at myself and situations. This is why I can endure a 10 hour marathon of "America's Funniest Home Videos" without slitting my wrists.

So the question is: do you think that we've become more sarcastic or more willing to laugh at irony since we've been subjected to a life with a difficult child?

By the way - the particular post that I put up that prompted this observation was:

"Good mommy's let their kids lick the beaters - Great mommy's turn the mixer off first".

Beth

 

[ThreeShadows]

Yes.

 

[HaoZi]

"Good mommy's let their kids lick the beaters - Great mommy's turn the mixer off first".

I don't know, I've always had a humor that leaned heavily towards the darker or more sarcastic side of things (think cop or morgue humor). Kiddo laughed at that, too. Just not as much as I did. The visual was highly amusing. Mind if I swipe it and see if my friends/family say anything?

 

[Wiped Out]

Hard for me to say. husband's entire family is that way and my family was the same way. Now husband did have a difficult child brother and I had what I thought was a difficult child brother at the time so who knows? by the way, love the mixer statement!

 

[donna723]

I think it does. You probably find the same type of sarcastic black humor in any group of people who are "in the trenches" all the time and are constantly in stressful situations. It's a way of coping and saving your sanity. You will find this same type of inside humor among medical people, police officers, and probably in the military too as a way of blowing off steam. And it serves to detach you a bit from the source of the stress.

I spent the last 24 years working in a close security State prison, a very highly stressful work environment, especially for those who work around the inmates all the time. And those are also some of the funniest people I've ever met in my life! Just get a bunch of them telling stories and you'll laugh till you cry, even though it would absolutely horrify an outsider! Our all-time favorite story was about how they once found an inmate who had hung himself on a rope made from torn bed sheets. They were trying to support him and hold him up but this was a really big guy and when they cut the rope he fell forward and smacked his head on the metal bunk bed. He really been hadn't really been hanging long enough to harm himself but the fractured skull he got from hitting the bunk bed darned near killed him! Every time they told that story, we'd all laugh till we practically wet ourselves! If you didn't laugh, you'd cry!

 

[nvts]

I don't know, I've always had a humor that leaned heavily towards the darker or more sarcastic side of things (think cop or morgue humor). Kiddo laughed at that, too. Just not as much as I did. The visual was highly amusing. Mind if I swipe it and see if my friends/family say anything?

Swipe away! I don't remember where I'd read it, but it stuck in my head, I was trying to think of something profound to say and it popped out.

 

[HaoZi]

Updated. Already have one "Like".

 

[KTMom91]

Absolutely. Gotta get your laughs wherever you can find them.

 

[Hound dog]

I'm not sure which came first the unusual sense of humor or the kids.

But I'll tell ya.........if it weren't for my sense of humor.........I doubt I'd have been able to survive being married to a difficult child and having 3 difficult child kids. lol

 

[flutterby]

I think I've always had the sarcastic/cynical sense of humor; having a difficult child just refined it. I get strange looks from people, but I don't mind. I'm having fun at least.

 

[barneysmom]

I think humor is one of the few benefits of being regularly in the trenches. The humor is so dark it can almost provide a subtle kind of intimacy between people. I love that. It's comforting.

 

[HaoZi]

Does it say anything that http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/f13/you-might-have-difficult-child-if-98/ is bookmarked on my comp?

 

[Steely]

A SAY A RESOUNDING - YES

Living this life has to make us more cynical, and sarcastic - or kill us!!!!

No really, it is kinda interesting - because the 2 years when Matt was in treatment - a guy who was in his late twenties and I became really good friends. At first, we thought of the carnal pleasures this could bring - but quickly we both realized no way. Later, it dawned on me, that the reason I liked this guy so much was because he was somewhat dark, cynical, silly, funny - and in many ways reminded me of a healthy Matt. With Matt being gone, I really missed our bantering and goofiness. Although difficult children bring a lot of pain - at least for me - Matt is cynical and funny. He can make me laugh even when I know how wrong it is of me to laugh at the dark side. He is so often on the dark side - how can you not laugh sometimes????

So I can't say which came first - me being sarcastic and cynical - or Matt - but either way - it is a deep part of who I am - and I concur that having a difficult child can make one steer towards this direction.

 

[HaoZi]

Humor is also genetic to a large degree. I met few people with a similar sense of humor to myself until I met my bio-family, and that was before kiddo.

 

[Star*]

Sorry luv......

Can't really answer you right now - I was licking a beater and hit the switch -

.......Ah wheealy wid.....an wow I waf woo whow whoo wha whospwhital.

 

[HaoZi]

Dang it Star, I just lost my Gingy in my mug of milk. Lucky I didn't lose the milk all over the screen. Poor soggy Gingy... no putting him back together now, guess I should put him out of his misery.
*fade to black with soggy crunchy sounds*

 

[HaoZi]

Okay nvts, same post on mine has gathered 4 "Like"s and one "LOL". Likely says more about my friends than my humor.

 

[Jena]

Beth

GREAT thread!!! Your hysterical, sick sense of humor i've always loved. i think it's a coping skill for us difficult child momma's lol, seriously. life throws us a little too much at times and well we gotta find our happiness in even the simplest things and usually the absurd things that life has thrown us. all survival techniques we've adopted and yes the sarcasm is truly fitting because hello we do have difficult child's what other sense of humor would we have??

very funny by the way!! i liked the america's home videos without slitting wrist comment too

 

[susiestar]

I think for many of us it goes beyong having to either laugh or cry. Some days it is either find the humor or slit your wrists (or wring your child's neck). I don't think I ever had much of a chance to enjoy any other kind of humor. As a kid I thought our family song was the theme to "The Addams Family". snap snap.

Seriously, I did. I thought some relative helped write it, even though Addams is not our last name. It was probably said as a joke of some kind by one of my dad's cousins (his aunt lived next to his gma and their bro lived across the street so there were always a ton of cousins around.) and I just believed it cause it made sense. Our family sure was way different than the other ones on our block - we didn't play sports on teams, we read books, my parents would help any kid on the block with homework and/or research and we started saving for a computer before we got cable or central air. Sure, Trash 80's were the state of the art easy child of the day, but it had never even occurred to our neighbors that they might have a computer at home.

The sense of humor is an awesome perspective on the world and in many ways helps us preserve what little sanity we have.

Love the mixer quote. Reminds me of the "Mommy Mommy" jokes my dad used to tell us.

Mommy, Mommy, I don't want to keep running in circles anymore!

Shut up kid or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.

Mean, but still funny if delivered the right way at the right time. My father had about a dozen of them.

 

[nvts]

Oh my God! I forgot ALLLLLL about the Mommy Mommy Jokes! I don't know why I can't remember any of the others, but that one about the circles had me in tears!

Beth