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<blockquote data-quote="KrisfromNJ" data-source="post: 626130" data-attributes="member: 17953"><p>Hi Carol,</p><p></p><p>I wish you peace and the best of luck. I know you will make it and find a better place for you.</p><p></p><p>We shared a message before and recently I spoke with my son to set ground rules for us to have conversations over the phone, I also for the first time as embarrassed of him that I usually am (because he is dirty and smelly or unshaven) looked past it, </p><p></p><p>I accepted him for who he is and not for who I want him to be finally after 19 years. I also told him i love him with all my heart and I promise to stop being so controlling by trying to fix what I think is his problems, That he was smart enough to run his own life and left it at that. </p><p></p><p>Granted like you and I said to each other we always have endless issues with our difficult child's.</p><p></p><p>I think this (site) was the place that I need to make me feel "ok" in my heart to let go of him. To see others have gone through this heartache and roller coaster. Reflecting back, I always wanted to be a good parent and would just beat myself up saying what am I doing wrong. Well I am done with that, try it . Now I do still have pains of guilt and grief don't get me wrong but I feel a weight lifted.</p><p></p><p>I am saying to myself and invite you to say it too. it is not my fault! He is who he is and I need to deal with it. You know he hasn't called me since and my phone has been peaceful. I am ok with peaceful.</p><p></p><p>Stop driving by where he is staying and spending every moment worrying, because he has all of America to live at. Why does he chose to "live" 1/2 mile from home. Ask yourself that. Mother's Day is coming and I decided to give myself a present. Nails, hair and full body massage.</p><p></p><p>Do something good for you and take this time to reconnect with your significant other. I am always here and if you figure out how to set up a signature let me know LoL.</p><p></p><p>Kris</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KrisfromNJ, post: 626130, member: 17953"] Hi Carol, I wish you peace and the best of luck. I know you will make it and find a better place for you. We shared a message before and recently I spoke with my son to set ground rules for us to have conversations over the phone, I also for the first time as embarrassed of him that I usually am (because he is dirty and smelly or unshaven) looked past it, I accepted him for who he is and not for who I want him to be finally after 19 years. I also told him i love him with all my heart and I promise to stop being so controlling by trying to fix what I think is his problems, That he was smart enough to run his own life and left it at that. Granted like you and I said to each other we always have endless issues with our difficult child's. I think this (site) was the place that I need to make me feel "ok" in my heart to let go of him. To see others have gone through this heartache and roller coaster. Reflecting back, I always wanted to be a good parent and would just beat myself up saying what am I doing wrong. Well I am done with that, try it . Now I do still have pains of guilt and grief don't get me wrong but I feel a weight lifted. I am saying to myself and invite you to say it too. it is not my fault! He is who he is and I need to deal with it. You know he hasn't called me since and my phone has been peaceful. I am ok with peaceful. Stop driving by where he is staying and spending every moment worrying, because he has all of America to live at. Why does he chose to "live" 1/2 mile from home. Ask yourself that. Mother's Day is coming and I decided to give myself a present. Nails, hair and full body massage. Do something good for you and take this time to reconnect with your significant other. I am always here and if you figure out how to set up a signature let me know LoL. Kris Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app [/QUOTE]
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