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Question for group - Son was kicked out on Friday
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 557286" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>My daughter has said all kinds of terrible things to me about childhood events, my character, whatever. The truth is if our behavior had that big of an impact on them then they would be very different people because most of us were caring, involved parents 99% of the time. I'm pretty sure the few times we lost our tempers or did stupid things did not cause the significant damage our difficult children would love to portray. I look at my relationship with my daughter as ever-evolving and I have no idea where we will end up. I hope for the best and prepare for the worst. When she was young we were extremely close. As an adult, there have been times when I have been completely out of contact with her. It is a daily struggle. If you haven't found the stuff on detachment yet, you definitely need to. I work on that every day, but I'm so much better than I used to be.</p><p></p><p>Your son is probably trying to con you out of money. He is freaked out completely right now. Be prepared- he WILL up the ante. Nearly all of these kids do. When the rug is finally pulled out from under them and we no longer buy into their cons they will try anything to get you to give them what they want. As an adult my daughter has thrown temper tantrums that would give a toddler a run for his money. She has told people all kinds of lies about me. She has told me all kinds of horrible stories like how she's starving and freezing, etc. I have seen parents on here whose kids have threatened suicide. The best advice in that case is to call the police. Knowing that it will get a whole lot worse before it gets better will help prepare you. You must focus on yourself and keep busy. When my daughter has been at her craziest I have run myself ragged so that I will fall in bed and sleep for at least a few hours. I work full time and teach at the local university. I have 2 dogs to whom I am devoted and I hike with them every single day, no matter what. I have become vegan and gotten active in animal rights. No matter what is going on with my daughter I keep all my stuff as my first priority. So whether she's in or out of my life I have a full, busy life. Some days are harder than others (especially when I'm worrying about my granddaughter) but I never stop focusing on being healthy and relatively sane. People on here understand what you are going through like nobody else does, so jump on here when you are losing it. Unless someone has been there with these crazy adult kids they have no idea of the hell we live in every day. Keep your head up, focus on you and do something nice for yourself. I have been known to shut off my phones when she just keeps calling and screaming- you may want to consider doing the same. Hang in there!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 557286, member: 11235"] My daughter has said all kinds of terrible things to me about childhood events, my character, whatever. The truth is if our behavior had that big of an impact on them then they would be very different people because most of us were caring, involved parents 99% of the time. I'm pretty sure the few times we lost our tempers or did stupid things did not cause the significant damage our difficult children would love to portray. I look at my relationship with my daughter as ever-evolving and I have no idea where we will end up. I hope for the best and prepare for the worst. When she was young we were extremely close. As an adult, there have been times when I have been completely out of contact with her. It is a daily struggle. If you haven't found the stuff on detachment yet, you definitely need to. I work on that every day, but I'm so much better than I used to be. Your son is probably trying to con you out of money. He is freaked out completely right now. Be prepared- he WILL up the ante. Nearly all of these kids do. When the rug is finally pulled out from under them and we no longer buy into their cons they will try anything to get you to give them what they want. As an adult my daughter has thrown temper tantrums that would give a toddler a run for his money. She has told people all kinds of lies about me. She has told me all kinds of horrible stories like how she's starving and freezing, etc. I have seen parents on here whose kids have threatened suicide. The best advice in that case is to call the police. Knowing that it will get a whole lot worse before it gets better will help prepare you. You must focus on yourself and keep busy. When my daughter has been at her craziest I have run myself ragged so that I will fall in bed and sleep for at least a few hours. I work full time and teach at the local university. I have 2 dogs to whom I am devoted and I hike with them every single day, no matter what. I have become vegan and gotten active in animal rights. No matter what is going on with my daughter I keep all my stuff as my first priority. So whether she's in or out of my life I have a full, busy life. Some days are harder than others (especially when I'm worrying about my granddaughter) but I never stop focusing on being healthy and relatively sane. People on here understand what you are going through like nobody else does, so jump on here when you are losing it. Unless someone has been there with these crazy adult kids they have no idea of the hell we live in every day. Keep your head up, focus on you and do something nice for yourself. I have been known to shut off my phones when she just keeps calling and screaming- you may want to consider doing the same. Hang in there! [/QUOTE]
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Question for group - Son was kicked out on Friday
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