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Question for those who's difficult child is doing better
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<blockquote data-quote="moonglow" data-source="post: 315420" data-attributes="member: 256"><p>For those that don't know me..I started posting on here when my son was just three due to the violent rages he was having. Long story which I won't repeat as you all know the story as you have lived it. He also had a learning disability which I got an IEP for and he got the help he needed and really processed through the years. He is now in 7th grade and recent testing showed he is doing so well they dismissed him and say he no longer has an Learning Disability (LD) problem which of course I am thrilled about. He also has ADHD and an anxiety disorder and on medications for both. Anyway for years...well all his school years I have given him few chores or responsibilities to do around the house because I wanted to keep his stress level as low as possible so he could focus on his schoolwork. Even last year he would still get so stressed out at times doing homework. Still has a few time this year but not getting all hysterical about it like in the past. Its has taken everything in him to get through the school days and handle it..then more in doing homework and that was literally all emotionally he could handle for years. </p><p></p><p>Now when he gets home from school he takes a little break, eats a snack then gets his homework out and does it without me saying a thing! Its amazing. Almost wonder if someone switch my son with another one..lol. No nagging to get it done and no dealing with half meltdowns when he does do it. </p><p></p><p>So here is the thing, since he is doing so well and gets his homework done usually before supper, then he has all evening to do other things. He does chat with friends on the computer and plays games but I think its time he start doing more around the house. I am a single mom and disabled with a bad back and would like the help. He does mow the yard and uses the weed eater...and will be helping with getting the leaves up in the yard. But I mean things around the house. </p><p></p><p>I know with his anxiety he doesn't like change so I have to approach this slowly and not demand he do a bunch of things that he doesn't even know how to do yet because I have had him focus on school work and not taught him these things yet. </p><p></p><p>So I am wondering how those of you who have difficult child's that are doing better have approached this with yours? Right now I am not even sure what I want him to do as I have done nearly everything as far as house work and cooking, cleaning up the kitchen, etc on my own forever. Part of me also doesn't want him to mess with my stuff too! lol. you know how it is you like doing things 'your way' and everyone's else way is wrong? mmmm. So I need to adjust to this idea too. But he has to learn if he is ever going to be able to take care of himself one day when he is an adult. So I am not sure where to start with this..any ideas? thanks</p><p></p><p>Julie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moonglow, post: 315420, member: 256"] For those that don't know me..I started posting on here when my son was just three due to the violent rages he was having. Long story which I won't repeat as you all know the story as you have lived it. He also had a learning disability which I got an IEP for and he got the help he needed and really processed through the years. He is now in 7th grade and recent testing showed he is doing so well they dismissed him and say he no longer has an Learning Disability (LD) problem which of course I am thrilled about. He also has ADHD and an anxiety disorder and on medications for both. Anyway for years...well all his school years I have given him few chores or responsibilities to do around the house because I wanted to keep his stress level as low as possible so he could focus on his schoolwork. Even last year he would still get so stressed out at times doing homework. Still has a few time this year but not getting all hysterical about it like in the past. Its has taken everything in him to get through the school days and handle it..then more in doing homework and that was literally all emotionally he could handle for years. Now when he gets home from school he takes a little break, eats a snack then gets his homework out and does it without me saying a thing! Its amazing. Almost wonder if someone switch my son with another one..lol. No nagging to get it done and no dealing with half meltdowns when he does do it. So here is the thing, since he is doing so well and gets his homework done usually before supper, then he has all evening to do other things. He does chat with friends on the computer and plays games but I think its time he start doing more around the house. I am a single mom and disabled with a bad back and would like the help. He does mow the yard and uses the weed eater...and will be helping with getting the leaves up in the yard. But I mean things around the house. I know with his anxiety he doesn't like change so I have to approach this slowly and not demand he do a bunch of things that he doesn't even know how to do yet because I have had him focus on school work and not taught him these things yet. So I am wondering how those of you who have difficult child's that are doing better have approached this with yours? Right now I am not even sure what I want him to do as I have done nearly everything as far as house work and cooking, cleaning up the kitchen, etc on my own forever. Part of me also doesn't want him to mess with my stuff too! lol. you know how it is you like doing things 'your way' and everyone's else way is wrong? mmmm. So I need to adjust to this idea too. But he has to learn if he is ever going to be able to take care of himself one day when he is an adult. So I am not sure where to start with this..any ideas? thanks Julie [/QUOTE]
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