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Question on Grief
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 89846" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>This is very topical for me right now. I wish I knew what to say about what the "right" thing is. Do we ever forget the pain? Do we move on? Is moving on enough? If you've been through something that is as horrible as that, is it right to have deep feelings about it from time to time? Who is more entitled to those feelings than us, if anyone? If we live with them and don't let them cripple us day to day, is that wrong? Are we supposed to say that every day and forever we will never be upset again? I think that is unreasonable. </p><p></p><p>I have PTSD as well, resulting both from long term abuse and from an isolated very violent crime committed upon me. Time heals all wounds, to a certain extent. And you have to avoid those things that trigger memories when you can. Am I still angry (in your case "grieving")? I think that there are some things, when pressed, that you never get past grieving for or being angry about. What was done to Hanging On and what was done to me will always be wrong, and we should never say it was ok. If it makes us fall apart, it's a problem. If it makes us say, "Oh wow, look what day it is", or "October brings difficult memories", I can't see that as a problem.</p><p></p><p>Jeez Louise, hon, you made it 22 days into the month without thinking about it. That's pretty darn good if you ask me!</p><p></p><p>I guess that if you feel like therapy would help you, you should go for it. But if it's to satisfy someone else's concern about something that they don't understand, it might be a waste of your time and emotions.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 89846, member: 99"] This is very topical for me right now. I wish I knew what to say about what the "right" thing is. Do we ever forget the pain? Do we move on? Is moving on enough? If you've been through something that is as horrible as that, is it right to have deep feelings about it from time to time? Who is more entitled to those feelings than us, if anyone? If we live with them and don't let them cripple us day to day, is that wrong? Are we supposed to say that every day and forever we will never be upset again? I think that is unreasonable. I have PTSD as well, resulting both from long term abuse and from an isolated very violent crime committed upon me. Time heals all wounds, to a certain extent. And you have to avoid those things that trigger memories when you can. Am I still angry (in your case "grieving")? I think that there are some things, when pressed, that you never get past grieving for or being angry about. What was done to Hanging On and what was done to me will always be wrong, and we should never say it was ok. If it makes us fall apart, it's a problem. If it makes us say, "Oh wow, look what day it is", or "October brings difficult memories", I can't see that as a problem. Jeez Louise, hon, you made it 22 days into the month without thinking about it. That's pretty darn good if you ask me! I guess that if you feel like therapy would help you, you should go for it. But if it's to satisfy someone else's concern about something that they don't understand, it might be a waste of your time and emotions. [/QUOTE]
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