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<blockquote data-quote="Tiapet" data-source="post: 536331" data-attributes="member: 455"><p>So difficult child #2, middle 15yo, has this habit of controlling or rather trying to control every one and everything in her life/world. This goes across all boarders including at school. To give you an idea of how it works:</p><p></p><p>Some one does something, she tells about it, whether it's an adult or child, teacher, parent, sibling, etc. - kind of like tattling or ratting everything out even if there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with what the person did she feels compelled to report what the person did. It could be if "SHE" thinks they did something wrong, or if they should have been doing something and they weren't or if they did something and it wasn't the way "SHE" thinks it should be done (even if it's the way it should be done by the way of the world order).</p><p></p><p>God forbid you tell her about anything, such as we "might" do A she believes you said you WERE doing it for sure and then she goes off that you said you were doing it and all out battles begin. Or if you say we are doing something but not until such and such time, she will freak out and bug for hours before about it consistently every 5 minutes (or less) until it happens and when it gets close she starts getting nasty that you aren't doing it or getting out the door RIGHT THIS MINUTE when you don't need to leave for at least how ever many minutes. You could be in your room and she will bang on bedroom doors first thing in the morning waking you up telling you that you are going to be late (such as for an appointment) when you have a half hour or more to go and not stop doing it until you come out. In the mean time you may be trying to get a shower, etc.</p><p></p><p>She takes inventory of everything - in the house, in school, etc. She knows what is there and when someone takes something and I just don't get it. I mean when it comes to food, since she is food obsessed it kind of makes sense because she "thinks" all food is hers whether it is or not and she always wants everyone else's food whether she is entitled to it or (she will steal it even if it is locked down at times). She freaks out if someone takes something even if they are allowed to or entitled to it, etc.</p><p></p><p>She orders people around and tells them what to do, including the adults (us). She will NOT stop this under any circumstances. We have found nothing, NOTHING! that stops her. She is so out of control of herself yet is trying to control everything else. It is funny, well not funny to me that this is so. How can someone who can't control themself even think about trying or wanting to control anything else, let alone adults/parents/teachers? I believe perhaps this is exactly "why" she is maybe doing it, that she is so out of control and is trying to control "something" since she can't control herself but instead is trying to control EVERYTHING. </p><p></p><p>The doctor either isn't listening to me about this or doesn't seem to care about it. Her worker has seen it. She literally does hold this house hostage with all this control.</p><p></p><p>So, do any of you have any thoughts about this and what it might be? I don't think I've ever seen anything like it before and it's getting worse as the days, weeks, months go on. It's just got to stop or we've got to do something about this because none of us can live like this. I think I've told before about how she makes lists in school about what the kids in her class (sped class) do wrong and then gives to the teacher (ie: this one did this and he's not suppose to be and he did it this many times), she also tries to "teach" the class under the disguies of "tutoring" kids (as if the teacher can't teach SHE can right in front of the teacher and presented as such) and gets all huffy that they "HAVE" to have this and SHE MUST get to school early/stay late to "help" (which we never have her do). It's pretty serious.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiapet, post: 536331, member: 455"] So difficult child #2, middle 15yo, has this habit of controlling or rather trying to control every one and everything in her life/world. This goes across all boarders including at school. To give you an idea of how it works: Some one does something, she tells about it, whether it's an adult or child, teacher, parent, sibling, etc. - kind of like tattling or ratting everything out even if there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with what the person did she feels compelled to report what the person did. It could be if "SHE" thinks they did something wrong, or if they should have been doing something and they weren't or if they did something and it wasn't the way "SHE" thinks it should be done (even if it's the way it should be done by the way of the world order). God forbid you tell her about anything, such as we "might" do A she believes you said you WERE doing it for sure and then she goes off that you said you were doing it and all out battles begin. Or if you say we are doing something but not until such and such time, she will freak out and bug for hours before about it consistently every 5 minutes (or less) until it happens and when it gets close she starts getting nasty that you aren't doing it or getting out the door RIGHT THIS MINUTE when you don't need to leave for at least how ever many minutes. You could be in your room and she will bang on bedroom doors first thing in the morning waking you up telling you that you are going to be late (such as for an appointment) when you have a half hour or more to go and not stop doing it until you come out. In the mean time you may be trying to get a shower, etc. She takes inventory of everything - in the house, in school, etc. She knows what is there and when someone takes something and I just don't get it. I mean when it comes to food, since she is food obsessed it kind of makes sense because she "thinks" all food is hers whether it is or not and she always wants everyone else's food whether she is entitled to it or (she will steal it even if it is locked down at times). She freaks out if someone takes something even if they are allowed to or entitled to it, etc. She orders people around and tells them what to do, including the adults (us). She will NOT stop this under any circumstances. We have found nothing, NOTHING! that stops her. She is so out of control of herself yet is trying to control everything else. It is funny, well not funny to me that this is so. How can someone who can't control themself even think about trying or wanting to control anything else, let alone adults/parents/teachers? I believe perhaps this is exactly "why" she is maybe doing it, that she is so out of control and is trying to control "something" since she can't control herself but instead is trying to control EVERYTHING. The doctor either isn't listening to me about this or doesn't seem to care about it. Her worker has seen it. She literally does hold this house hostage with all this control. So, do any of you have any thoughts about this and what it might be? I don't think I've ever seen anything like it before and it's getting worse as the days, weeks, months go on. It's just got to stop or we've got to do something about this because none of us can live like this. I think I've told before about how she makes lists in school about what the kids in her class (sped class) do wrong and then gives to the teacher (ie: this one did this and he's not suppose to be and he did it this many times), she also tries to "teach" the class under the disguies of "tutoring" kids (as if the teacher can't teach SHE can right in front of the teacher and presented as such) and gets all huffy that they "HAVE" to have this and SHE MUST get to school early/stay late to "help" (which we never have her do). It's pretty serious. [/QUOTE]
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