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Question - What has helped your family?
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<blockquote data-quote="aeroeng" data-source="post: 313893" data-attributes="member: 6557"><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">In the signature below I have updated difficult child to "recovering difficult child", because he has made a promise to do better, is trying very hard and this year has been a 1000 times better then last. Still has his moments (last week he pushed the TV off the stand. cracked case but it still works). But, he is working harder and recovers from explosions quicker, and takes responsibility for them. He is also learning on how to manage his frustrations much better. Although he still has a way to go.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">What got us here?? (I don't know)</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">- husband and I have learned how not to respond to the anger. We keep our calm or walk away. I even have gone to the point of leaving the little tyrant in the house alone and went to a move. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">- Calm the voice when mad. Sometimes when I am really angry I use the "Dave" voice. The voice from the movie 2010. Where the computer says, "I am sorry Dave, I am afraid I can't do that." I do this because I am so angry I can't talk normal. If I yell it all escalates. If I talk softly it helps defuse. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">- husband and I have learned a technique called "reflection". Where you repeat or re-phrase what the child has said so that they know you are lessening to them. The technique also includes how to get both sides point of view down on the table so that we can find a solution. "easy child in training" (last year was "difficult child in training") used this technique on the play ground last week. His teachers said, two of his friends were starting to fight. She was about to give both of them a detention, when "easy child in training" got to them first. He asked them questions, reflected their answers, and got them to talk about their issues. They both agreed to stop fighting! The teacher was astonished. The same technique has help me at work.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">- Split up the kids. Even to the level of making arrangement with family and friends to take one for an extended time period.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">- Reward carts and extreme consequences were not useful at all. They just become something additional to argue about.</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="aeroeng, post: 313893, member: 6557"] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]In the signature below I have updated difficult child to "recovering difficult child", because he has made a promise to do better, is trying very hard and this year has been a 1000 times better then last. Still has his moments (last week he pushed the TV off the stand. cracked case but it still works). But, he is working harder and recovers from explosions quicker, and takes responsibility for them. He is also learning on how to manage his frustrations much better. Although he still has a way to go.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]What got us here?? (I don't know)[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]- husband and I have learned how not to respond to the anger. We keep our calm or walk away. I even have gone to the point of leaving the little tyrant in the house alone and went to a move. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][FONT=Times New Roman]- Calm the voice when mad. Sometimes when I am really angry I use the "Dave" voice. The voice from the movie 2010. Where the computer says, "I am sorry Dave, I am afraid I can't do that." I do this because I am so angry I can't talk normal. If I yell it all escalates. If I talk softly it helps defuse. [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]- husband and I have learned a technique called "reflection". Where you repeat or re-phrase what the child has said so that they know you are lessening to them. The technique also includes how to get both sides point of view down on the table so that we can find a solution. "easy child in training" (last year was "difficult child in training") used this technique on the play ground last week. His teachers said, two of his friends were starting to fight. She was about to give both of them a detention, when "easy child in training" got to them first. He asked them questions, reflected their answers, and got them to talk about their issues. They both agreed to stop fighting! The teacher was astonished. The same technique has help me at work.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]- Split up the kids. Even to the level of making arrangement with family and friends to take one for an extended time period.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]- Reward carts and extreme consequences were not useful at all. They just become something additional to argue about.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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