O.k. so I had a great alanon meeting last night, but it definatley gave me some food for thought. You all know the issue with my sons car, it still isn't fixed and should be any day now, but his license is suspended and he has to go to court on 3/21, less then a week away, and then it should be restored shortly after that. I gave him the option the other day of my boyfriend and I continuing to drive him everywhere until he gets his license restored, even if his car is driveable before then and I told him if he makes the choice to drive without his license, gets pulled over, his car gets impounded, he loses his license for longer, you get my drift, that he isn't to call me. I will want nothing to do with it and will not drive him back and forth to work or anywhere else after that because we gave him the option to make the right choice, and if he doesn't, he'll have to suffer the natural consequences if he gets caught, which is a lot of what the alanon meeting was about last night, natural consequences. Yesterday my boyfriend said because we are paying for his car to be fixed, which we chose to do because he's back in treatment, working full time and paying for his hotel, that we should just tell him we aren't giving him the keys until he gets his license back because we don't want to throw $900 out the window just to have him get caught and have his car impounded two days later. So which is enabling???? Letting him make his own choice and drive the car when his license is suspended because he's 24 years old, living on his own and I shouldn't be manipulating his choice, and make sure I stick to what I told him I will not do if he gets caught, or since it is costing boyfriend and I money, do we make him follow the law and tell him we aren't giving him the car we just paid for until he has his license back?? There is such a fine line between enabling and supporting when they are doing the right thing, and manipulating a situation so you get the outcome that you want. Which is which???