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Questions for parents of those who been there done that....
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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 75617" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>I am just writing to say that my experiences have been very similar to the others here. My dtr did great at her Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and even when she was home for visits. The consensus was that she would succeed when she came home. Well, she fell back into her old patterns and was worse than ever.</p><p></p><p>My experience is like Midwest Moms. My dtr manipulated and exploited every situation unless I was really hard. When I was angry I could be ruthless but then I would feel sorry for her and that's when I enabled her. Any time I softened just the least little bit she took advantage of it.</p><p></p><p>My dtr did not change until it was clear to her that she could not come home again and that we were through supporting her financially. When she got this message through her head (and I guess she must have known that I had truly reached the end of my rope with her) she decided she would have to pick up the pieces of her life and do it on her own. </p><p></p><p>Please do let your son's Residential Treatment Center (RTC) know what is going on at home during these visits. Our dtr had rules to follow and she absolutely could not have contact with the old crowd. In fact, the time at home was supposed to be for reconnecting with her family, very limited contact with any friends and only under supervision. Kids from her Residential Treatment Center (RTC) who violated rules while home (even very minor rules) had consequences when they returned to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC).</p><p></p><p>My dtr thrived in the structured environment and made great strides but couldn't translate them into success at home. She did get control over her anger and we did not see rages anymore. I think she is using what she learned from her Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and rehabs but she wasn't willing to do that til she absolutely had to. </p><p></p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 75617, member: 3450"] I am just writing to say that my experiences have been very similar to the others here. My dtr did great at her Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and even when she was home for visits. The consensus was that she would succeed when she came home. Well, she fell back into her old patterns and was worse than ever. My experience is like Midwest Moms. My dtr manipulated and exploited every situation unless I was really hard. When I was angry I could be ruthless but then I would feel sorry for her and that's when I enabled her. Any time I softened just the least little bit she took advantage of it. My dtr did not change until it was clear to her that she could not come home again and that we were through supporting her financially. When she got this message through her head (and I guess she must have known that I had truly reached the end of my rope with her) she decided she would have to pick up the pieces of her life and do it on her own. Please do let your son's Residential Treatment Center (RTC) know what is going on at home during these visits. Our dtr had rules to follow and she absolutely could not have contact with the old crowd. In fact, the time at home was supposed to be for reconnecting with her family, very limited contact with any friends and only under supervision. Kids from her Residential Treatment Center (RTC) who violated rules while home (even very minor rules) had consequences when they returned to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). My dtr thrived in the structured environment and made great strides but couldn't translate them into success at home. She did get control over her anger and we did not see rages anymore. I think she is using what she learned from her Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and rehabs but she wasn't willing to do that til she absolutely had to. Jane [/QUOTE]
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