Quotes
- Thread starter DS3
- Start date
Star*
call 911........call 911
Recently purchased by DF and hung on our door - (I kid you not) with screws...
Dogs welcome - Children must be leashed.
- Purchased at the flea-market after a jaunt at the local Wal-Mart.
Hanging in my office - (no really why would I make this up?)
National Sarcasm Society
like we really need your support - it came with the Tshirt - Smart A society (both purchased for me because they had donkeys on them??) Really? The donkeys were the kicker huh? Right.
So I painted a plaquard on a piece of old, weathered, wooden pallet that now says -
As far as anyone knows...We're a normal family. Several people now have requested I paint one for THEIR home.
Possibly my most favorite quote to date is - The more I know people? The better I like my dog..(and over the years my dog added) .but then again, I've never has very much to say about anyone else - usually just takes a sniff from about 100 yards to let me know if someone doesn't make the grade for my family. Wish I had a nose like that for idiots.
Dogs welcome - Children must be leashed.
- Purchased at the flea-market after a jaunt at the local Wal-Mart. Hanging in my office - (no really why would I make this up?)
National Sarcasm Society
like we really need your support - it came with the Tshirt - Smart A society (both purchased for me because they had donkeys on them??) Really? The donkeys were the kicker huh? Right.
So I painted a plaquard on a piece of old, weathered, wooden pallet that now says -
As far as anyone knows...We're a normal family. Several people now have requested I paint one for THEIR home.
Possibly my most favorite quote to date is - The more I know people? The better I like my dog..(and over the years my dog added) .but then again, I've never has very much to say about anyone else - usually just takes a sniff from about 100 yards to let me know if someone doesn't make the grade for my family. Wish I had a nose like that for idiots.
DS3
New Member
Found myself on a quote site this morning. The colored ones are the ones that I laughed at. Enjoy!
Children Quotes:
Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. ~Franklin P. Jones
Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. ~Author Unknown (Especially if they have Echolilia, and just in case you didn't hear it the first time, they'll repeat it for hours!)
You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. ~Franklin P. Jones (Found that one out. Some days are better then others. I think we all understand).
We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. ~Stacia Tauscher
Having a two-year-old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for. ~Jerry Seinfeld (This speaks for itself).
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. ~Phyllis Diller (Yep. Couldn't have said it better myself!)
Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed. ~Robert Gallagher (OMG, this guy knows what I go through every night!)
If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. ~Edgar W. Howe (Ain't that the truth!)
Children Quotes:
Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. ~Franklin P. Jones
Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. ~Author Unknown (Especially if they have Echolilia, and just in case you didn't hear it the first time, they'll repeat it for hours!)
You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. ~Franklin P. Jones (Found that one out. Some days are better then others. I think we all understand).
We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. ~Stacia Tauscher
Having a two-year-old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for. ~Jerry Seinfeld (This speaks for itself).
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. ~Phyllis Diller (Yep. Couldn't have said it better myself!)
Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed. ~Robert Gallagher (OMG, this guy knows what I go through every night!)
If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. ~Edgar W. Howe (Ain't that the truth!)
ThreeShadows
Quid me anxia?
If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent. Bette Davis.
"difficult child 3 and I both see the glass as half empty. difficult children 1 and 2 can't even FIND the glass" my husband.
"difficult child 3 and I both see the glass as half empty. difficult children 1 and 2 can't even FIND the glass" my husband.
DS3
New Member
Alright, I admit. I visit web sites to find quotes to make me laugh. Here's some from this morning. 
Enjoy!
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." ~Albert Einstein
"Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?" ~Unknown
"Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad." ~unknown
"Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?" ~unknown
"Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever." ~unknown
"I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it." ~unknown
"A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip." ~unknown
"The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets" ~Al McGuire
"There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away." ~Unknown
"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments." ~unknown
"Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off." ~unknown
"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash." ~Jerry Seinfeld
"I've often thought that the process of aging could be slowed down if it had to go through Congress." ~George W Bush
"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes." ~Jack Handey
"He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame." ~unknown
"What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth ? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad." ~Dave Berry
"You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up." ~Unknown
"Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil." ~unknown
"I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness." ~Unknown
"You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it." ~Robin Williams
"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese." ~unknown
"We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public." ~Bryan White
"Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back." ~Unknown
"I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you." ~unknown
"It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in." ~Tommy Cooper
"I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed shrink is our friend" ~Jack Handy
Enjoy!"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." ~Albert Einstein
"Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?" ~Unknown
"Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad." ~unknown
"Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?" ~unknown
"Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever." ~unknown
"I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it." ~unknown
"A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip." ~unknown
"The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets" ~Al McGuire
"There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away." ~Unknown
"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments." ~unknown
"Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off." ~unknown
"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash." ~Jerry Seinfeld
"I've often thought that the process of aging could be slowed down if it had to go through Congress." ~George W Bush
"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes." ~Jack Handey
"He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame." ~unknown
"What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth ? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad." ~Dave Berry
"You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up." ~Unknown
"Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil." ~unknown
"I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness." ~Unknown
"You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it." ~Robin Williams
"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese." ~unknown
"We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public." ~Bryan White
"Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back." ~Unknown
"I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you." ~unknown
"It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in." ~Tommy Cooper
"I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed shrink is our friend" ~Jack Handy
H
HaoZi
Guest
"With great power comes great responsibility." - Stan Lee (and who says comic books don't teach anything?)
L
Liahona
Guest
"Most people would give up. We're Vikings. We have stubbornness issues." is this why we keep beating our heads against the same wall trying to help our kids?
There should be limits on how much one heart can hurt.
There should be limits on how much one heart can hurt.
N
Nomad
Guest
He who angers you, controls you.
