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Substance Abuse
Rambling & whiny-but how do you cope when the sadness gets to you?
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 505824"><p>Sig,</p><p></p><p>I too totally understand what you are feeling. I think it is a process. I definitely do better when I know my son is safe and possibly getting some help.... although with all the recent relapses I am kind of losing faith. When he is on the street or I am not hearing anything from him at all my imagination tends to run wild and I have some really bad moments. However they are now moments rather than contstant worry and grief. Even in those times I can now still have some fun and some laughs... I don't focus on him ALL the time now... but defiinitely some of the time.</p><p></p><p>So what has helped me. Therapy definitely did.. in emotionally letting go. Alanon meetings definitely helped. This group has helped. And most recently a feeling of determination that i am not going to let him ruin my life. I am just not. Another thing I did, and luckily could afford to do, is that I cut down on my work hours. I did this because in my job I deal with people dealing with trauma and it was just too much trauma for me... work and home. So now I get some days to myself which helped. </p><p></p><p>And so I am trying to find things in my life that I enjoy, that matter to me, and ways Occupational Therapist (OT) relax... good books to read etc.</p><p></p><p>It is not easy and it takes time. And I know for me some days are a lot better than others.</p><p></p><p>I also think this is not the end game.... you don't know where your son will end up or where your relationship will end up. I can't say my relationship with my son is good... it probably wont be really good without him being sober for awhile and really committed to it... but it as not as bad as it has been. I do think keeping the door open as much as possible while still setting boundaries is important. I would avoid forever stateements if you can. Things change and your son may get to a point where he doesn't want to stay on this path... and when that happens you want to be there for him.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 505824"] Sig, I too totally understand what you are feeling. I think it is a process. I definitely do better when I know my son is safe and possibly getting some help.... although with all the recent relapses I am kind of losing faith. When he is on the street or I am not hearing anything from him at all my imagination tends to run wild and I have some really bad moments. However they are now moments rather than contstant worry and grief. Even in those times I can now still have some fun and some laughs... I don't focus on him ALL the time now... but defiinitely some of the time. So what has helped me. Therapy definitely did.. in emotionally letting go. Alanon meetings definitely helped. This group has helped. And most recently a feeling of determination that i am not going to let him ruin my life. I am just not. Another thing I did, and luckily could afford to do, is that I cut down on my work hours. I did this because in my job I deal with people dealing with trauma and it was just too much trauma for me... work and home. So now I get some days to myself which helped. And so I am trying to find things in my life that I enjoy, that matter to me, and ways Occupational Therapist (OT) relax... good books to read etc. It is not easy and it takes time. And I know for me some days are a lot better than others. I also think this is not the end game.... you don't know where your son will end up or where your relationship will end up. I can't say my relationship with my son is good... it probably wont be really good without him being sober for awhile and really committed to it... but it as not as bad as it has been. I do think keeping the door open as much as possible while still setting boundaries is important. I would avoid forever stateements if you can. Things change and your son may get to a point where he doesn't want to stay on this path... and when that happens you want to be there for him. TL [/QUOTE]
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Rambling & whiny-but how do you cope when the sadness gets to you?
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