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Substance Abuse
Rambling & whiny-but how do you cope when the sadness gets to you?
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 506304"><p>I have been thinking about this thread a lot today. I agree with Janet that as moms we feel this connection to our kids and so we really feel it when good things happen and when bad things happen to them. I think it is very easy for moms to have their happiness be very tied into their kids happiness. When you have a kid who is generally doing well in life this is probably not an obvious problem...... but often I think it is very hard for moms when their kids leave the nest and they have to find their own happiness again....</p><p></p><p>However I think for us moms with kids who are a mess (for whatever reason) this tying our happiness to their success or failure is dangerous for us. This is not a judgement at all because I have definitely been there and certainly I have many times where I am stewing and worrying about difficult child and it is hard for me to get out of it.</p><p></p><p>I went to an alanon meeting and we were talking about hope and happiness (what a coincidence). There was a reading that really struck me about hope... and how we can lose hope but there is always hope that we will find joy. What struck me was it was not talking about our hope for our loved one but about hope for ourselves!!! And I realized that I may lose hope at times for difficult child but that doesn't mean I have to lose hope for myself. Regardless of what happens with my difficult child I can hope for happiness, joy and serenity.</p><p></p><p>So I think it is important for us in the process of detaching that we find the things that make us happy and give us peace.</p><p></p><p>Sig thanks for bringing up this topic.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 506304"] I have been thinking about this thread a lot today. I agree with Janet that as moms we feel this connection to our kids and so we really feel it when good things happen and when bad things happen to them. I think it is very easy for moms to have their happiness be very tied into their kids happiness. When you have a kid who is generally doing well in life this is probably not an obvious problem...... but often I think it is very hard for moms when their kids leave the nest and they have to find their own happiness again.... However I think for us moms with kids who are a mess (for whatever reason) this tying our happiness to their success or failure is dangerous for us. This is not a judgement at all because I have definitely been there and certainly I have many times where I am stewing and worrying about difficult child and it is hard for me to get out of it. I went to an alanon meeting and we were talking about hope and happiness (what a coincidence). There was a reading that really struck me about hope... and how we can lose hope but there is always hope that we will find joy. What struck me was it was not talking about our hope for our loved one but about hope for ourselves!!! And I realized that I may lose hope at times for difficult child but that doesn't mean I have to lose hope for myself. Regardless of what happens with my difficult child I can hope for happiness, joy and serenity. So I think it is important for us in the process of detaching that we find the things that make us happy and give us peace. Sig thanks for bringing up this topic. TL [/QUOTE]
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Rambling & whiny-but how do you cope when the sadness gets to you?
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