Random - Do you ever regret minor comments?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by artana, Jan 20, 2009.

  1. artana

    artana New Member

    This morning, I'm rushing the kids to get them to work. I'm annoyed because my SO is supposed to be feeding them and he's on the computer. Then he disappears to scrape the cars and I'm still at home instead of at work. I'm running a 1/2 hour late and I tell the kids, "We have to hurry because if I'm too late to work I can't make it to the bus."

    It wasn't meant to make the kids worry. I have been late too often and I keep having to find odd ways to fit 1/2 hours of work at home, but sooner or later someone will get annoyed with me. I meant that I felt guilty leaving to pick up the kids at the bus if I am running so late, but that's not what I said.:(

    It doesn't sound like the kids took it to heart...but anyone else do this? Dwell over comments that probably no one remembers later?
     
  2. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I think we all say things at times that we wish we could take back later, sometimes seconds later, while the words are still floating in the air!

    You didn't ask, but your comment was not bad - it is a reality. It's important that you get to work on time, it's important that you're able to greet the bus, etc. I didn't read it as you placing guilt on your kiddos. I read it as a simple statement. in my opinion, I think kids should know that you have other responsibilities besides them and that sometimes everyone has to rush or stop doing something or give something up so you can meet those responsibilities. It is what it is. Try and let that one go - chances are very likely that they forgot it anyway, moments later. Don't beat yourself up, artana.

    Yeesh, when I first saw the title of your post, I thought it was going to be something really bad...like something I'd probably said in the past. Haha. I am a bit more careful (had lots of practice biting my tongue over the years) these days about what I say. But like everyone, in the heat of the moment, something may slip out that I would rather have not said. I apologize and move one, if necessary. Sometimes I say something and regret it and then later think to myself, "Hmm, maybe that needed to be said after all".

    Have a guilt free day!
     
  3. artana

    artana New Member

    Thanks! I kind of hoped the title would show that I meant small little comments. I guess I should word it differently.

    Guilt-free is hard for me. I tend to spend all day feeling guilty over many different little things. Worry-free is definitely harder, but I'm getting there.:)
     
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Ever considered the possibility of getting up 1/2 hour earlier, brushing off the snow from your OWN car, and doing everything for yourself and your kids for a week WITHOUT asking computer playing SO for a hand?

    Sometimes doing things for yourself can be very rewarding -
    And EYE opening.

    And if you are doing it all yourself - you dont' have any reason to say things you don't mean - instead maybe you'llbe saying things like "Dang am I good." or even better - "Wow what do I need YOU for?" that should get him off the computer. If it doesn't? again - "Wow what do I need you for?"
     
  5. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Everyday
     
  6. artana

    artana New Member

    Star* - I actually have done that. I was a single mother in a place where I did not know anyone for over a year. My SO is generally great. This morning he slipped. I would have preferred to take the snow off of my car and get to work, but I had to make sure the kids finished eating and such since he was nowhere to be found, whereas normally he would have been in the kitchen helping them himself.
     
  7. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I'm with kjs on this. I do this everyday. I say things and then wish I could take them back. Then I sit with the guilt all day long. Sometimes I speak before thinking. Sometimes I come off a bit abrasive. Most times we don't realize how our words will effect others until those words are already spoken. But we are human!!!

    I think it is easier to communicate the way we do here, we can read over our posts and make sure we are comfortable with what we are saying. Too bad we don't have an automatic edit button in our brains!!! :)
     
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