Ms Q comes home yesterday and says that her teacher has been waiting for me to email her back about whether or not she is going to school today or not. I told her I didn't think that was so as her teacher and I had already discussed that before and it was settled in emails. You see all the 5th graders were going on a special class trip today and she can't go because of her level of behaviors and her para professional could not attend because it is a Tuesday. So later in the evening I open email program to send an email to teacher to verify what I thought was another ploy from MS Q to stay home from school and I find an email already there from her teacher but it wasn't about that. The teacher wanted to know why I had changed my mind about her being retained. I had sent in paperwork yesterday as instructed by the guidance counselor because it came home when it should have never even been presented to Ms Q to begin with so now I had to undo it all. The teacher saw it. Confused? Let me give you some history. Back in November we had a teacher conference, the para professional and I. At that we discussed how Ms Q is having difficulties and has been having difficulties since last year in academics in a few areas. 2 areas very severely. How socially and emotionally she is not on level with her peers either and having difficulties. We discussed that we did not think she would be able to go forward to the next grade at all. That even with a major miracle in improvement (definitely not even likely to happen) could she make it in a middle school environment. It would set her up for severe failure. Then the evaluation results came back and we discussed them with the teacher and agreed that in the 2 areas she struggled most, 1 of the areas she has specific sub targets she probably will never improve on but all the other areas she would. But again, the social and emotional areas are no where near what they need to be. We have since discussed this over the last several months on and off briefly in emails touching on it. The principal was aware back in December I was not promoting her as has the original guidance counselor (if you read rant #1 you know there is a sub in for her as she is on maternity leave). So I sent her a reply and said that I was sorry she must have misunderstood both I and the para professional (which I knew darn well she didn't) but that she is not ready socially or emotionally and there are still target areas of academics that MUST improve to move forward. *notably Math as she is functioning on maybe 1st grade level in 5th grade!* That at this time we - therapist, psychiatrist, para professional, and myself - feel she is not ready to be in that environment. I had a conversation with the guidance counselor the other day regarding the papers that came home because Ms Q has come home a couple of days now telling me about presentation she's seen or heard about middle school and apparent group talks with guidance of middle school as well. I asked why they were having her go through all this when she was not being promoted? The guidance counselor said that she can make sure she is not part of these activities. I'm thinking to myself, why didn't they do this to begin with? This child knows she is not moving on yet in her mind still thinks she is, is getting all excited about classes and such of middle school. She is now confused yet not confused (she will tell you she knows she isn't going yet at the same time tell you what classes she is taking?!). Now back to teacher situation. Report cards came out on Friday and I really was shocked to see that Ms Q scored the way she did in some things because work coming home didn't match the scores I saw on report card (they don't grade here). Now this might make some sense I'm thinking. You see I am questioning this teacher. She is against retention #1 and #2 she is trying to obtain some sort of teaching certification (I'm not exactly sure of what) and my daughter is part of her participants study group (I had to sign for her to be part of it, last year and this - I'll explain in a minute). So perhaps if my child "fails" and is retained this will look bad on her so maybe she was going to try to push her forward anyway? I hope that is not the case. Explanation for last year and this. Ms Q had her last year to and this year as she was allowed to have her again if I ok'd it because she began teaching the next grade this year and last year she was the most excellent teacher anyone could have asked for. She communicated, worked with/for the child and family, etc. You all would want this teacher for your child. She also had won teacher of the year she was that good. Something happened over the summer however. She came back not the same for this year and it has just gotten worse and worse over the months. The communication began getting more and more sporadic, just everything changed in how things were handled. There was no follow through like last year at all. I wish there was. I'm glad both little difficult child's will be going to different schools, however, next year. Our area reassigned them to different schools and furthermore we've (therapist, para professional, psychiatrist and myself) to place Ms Q into year round school since it will be better for her academic by not having such a big break in summer vacation. She will go 45 days to school, have 14 days off and cycle back yet still have the normal holidays like everyone else. Not only will it help the academics but it will help the household as while little dude is on summer vacation, she will be in school and while he is in school, she will have her vacations. This will break up the instigation and fighting between them (the worst) but also give Ms Emo (oldest) some much needed relief from all that is going on that is causing her to spiral into a bad way for herself (by the way she is now back into therapy because of it all and a couple of her own issues). So there ya have it in a nutshell, both rants. I'm sorry I haven't been around for a few days. Know I have been reading but complete chaos has erupted here and I have been trying desperately to deal with it. Ms Emo is in a very bad way and seems like she is needing/demanding her "mommy" (even though she is not saying that). She keeps seeking me out and wanting along time so much so she is coming into SO and my bedroom at night to talk or asking to watch a movie with us. I don't blame her. The little ones are enough to keep me in pain, in tears, and wishing I could run away myself (but not to my mom).