I have completely had it with my 17 year old daughter. I honestly am having such a hard time when she just seems to go out of her way to not do what is requested then acts out when you confront her about it. Good news is we finally got difficult child to take her medication. Only after, two weeks ago psychiatrist said that she would not be writing any more scripts for the adhd medications if she refused to take something to take down her irritability and take them as perscribed and dictated that since difficult child couldn't manage the medications herself (which is what difficult child said she needed to do to be able to take them) that she needed to come to me for them every day. psychiatrist was banking on the fact that difficult child notices the adhd medications work for her so she'd take the other medications just to get the stimulant. difficult child was NOT happy about this and spent the better part of the rest of that day sobbing that everyone was mean to her. So, that worked. difficult child started taking Zoloft along with her vyvanse a week and a half ago with me giving them to her everyday. She isn't thrilled with having to come to me for medications but she's taking them. She actually seemed (notice I said seemed) somewhat better since starting the zoloft but since she has only been taking the zoloft for a week or so I am on the fence that it has much to do with the change. Who knows. Anyway, since we are on break from school, she has been taking her medications around 11/11:30 am. I have an issue with this since the stims can keep her up but I was fine with the lateness it as long as it was in the am. I was trying to be flexible since she was concerned that she wouldn't be able to sleep in during break. (yeah, I'm inflexible and mean. grrr) She's asked to sleep at friends houses during the break and she had been pretty good about being home in the am when she slept at friends homes-Coming home when I wanted her to or at least calling me if she would be late so I could get her or bring her medications. I was very impressed with how much responsibility she had been showing. I thought things were workign out pretty well and was estatic that she was doing her best to make some changes and being responsible. IT was almost like I had my daughter back. So difficult child asked to sleep over a friends Wednesday night. I told her as long as she came for her medications around 10:30/11AM that was fine. At noon I am calling to find out where she is and was met with this is my break, I want to do what I want. I reminded her what the arrangment for sleepovers was and went to pick her up. On our way home, I told her that sleepovers were not going to continue to happen if she wasn't going to get home in the am. She wasn't happy. Said it was her break and she didn't want to have to be home in the AM to get medications. She was sleeping in if she wanted. I told her that she needed to take the medications as directed and needed to take them in the AM, I had been flexible about the time and I was sorry that it was interfering with her vacation but that it is what it is. New Years Eve we discussed her taking her medications the following day since she was spending the night elsewhere (friend's lakehouse with parents). I told her that a little later was fine. She was home by 1PM to take them. Friday night she spent at home. Got her medications at 11AM when she woke up. Saturday she was out with friends in the afternoon. Later in the evening we went shopping, got take out and where home. At 9:30 she asked if it was okay if her friend came to pick her up so she could sleepover. I told her I was fine with it as long as she was home in the AM to get her medications. I didn't hesitate since she had been being responsible doing this. I was taking my other daughter to hang out with friends in the AM so I got difficult child's medications together before I left so when she came they would be there for her. When I arrived home at 1:30 PM I was told that my husband didn't hear from her nor did she come home to take her medications! So I call her at 1:45. She's at a restaurant eating with two friends of hers and was told she will be home when she is done. This is her vacation. She will do what she wants. She'll be home for the medications when she is done. She was rushing me off the phone when I started to explain it was important to me that she was home to take them since that was the arrangement we had made that allowed her to sleepover at her friends and ended up hanging up on me even after I reminded her not to. Well, she arrives home at 2:15, no apologies, and asks where her medications were. I told her I put them away for now and that she needed to sit down so we could talk. Well, I was going to tell her that she wasn't allowed to stay at anyone's house the next time she wanted because she couldn't manage to get home when she was supposed to. And if it happened again we would have to talk to the psychiatrist who might choose to discontinue her medications if she refused to take them as directed. I was going to give her the medications after she was aware of her situation. THAT didn't happen... She said didn't want to sit down to talk and immediately ran up to her room grabbed something then took off slamming the door on her exit. I am tired of the power struggle. I am tired of not being the parent here. I am tired of her dictating what she does and does not do. After the initial frustration wore off I texted her to let her know that she did not have my permission to sleep at anyone's house tonight and I expected her to be home by curfew which was met with she was doing what she wanted. I told her her choices were hers but I still strongly urged her to come home. I stopped texting her and immediately called her friends mom to let her know that difficult child didn't have my persmission to sleep at her house tonight and explained the situation. Friends mom said she is going to make sure she gets home tonight. Maybe I am a horrible parent but I am tired of trying to be resonable on to be walked all over. I could have said no sleepovers at all. I could have demanded she take the medications earlier. I can certainly understand this is her break and she wants to have some freedoms but give me a break...she has been allowed to sleep over friend's houses as long as she comes home in the am before noon for medications. We've worked it out before when she couldn't get home (rides, etc.) when she calls. No phone call today. Why is this so &$%# hard? So now I get to spend the night arguing with husband as to whether to call the police to report her if she doesn't come home and worry about how it will affect her probation (she is on probation for assaulting her father - gets off with having it removed from her record if she does community service and pays a fine by March). Then I get to dream up consequences that will only put us back to where we were a week and a half ago - her ticked off at me for stuff she brings on herself. I am so tired of this. It all just seems so ridiculous to me. I am pulling my hair out. Husband thinks it is just an "fu" to me to let me know she's in charge. Therapist says I need to make sure I deliver consequences when she does this regardless. Friends mom says I need to understand that there may be other things going on that I am not aware of that could be responsible for her behavior (she's been having boyfriend troubles). For the love of all things, what in the world is the right thing to do? I just don't get it. I am seriously feeling like I don't have the bandwidth for all this drama that just seems to completely ridiculous to me. How hard is it to make a phone call? How hard is it to do what I expect her to do? Seriously. I have about had it. All my compassion and understanding is slowly going out the window. Her father is already done with her bs. I feel like I am the only one she has left. I love her but how much is enough? Frustrated.