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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 340392" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>been there done that... Sort of.</p><p> </p><p>My husband works 2nd shift so when I see my friends it is rarely with him. But let me give you a little word of cautionary advice... Be very careful.</p><p> </p><p>I have male friends, in fact my BFF is a guy. We had a thing in the past, but it's long since over. Still, I never let myself be totally alone with him. Even out for coffee. Love him, and if things were different I'd probably be with him. But I am not willing to lose husband over him. Nor am I willing to risk my close friendship with BFF's wife. If it came down to a choice? husband. No contest. Even after all the stuff we have been through recently.</p><p> </p><p>HOWEVER that said. My husband knows better than to give me an ultimatum. I don't do well with ultimatums. And if you are hearing, "I trust you but I don't trust him" - um - he doesn't trust YOU. He knows you need someone there for you while he is deployed. He knows about the stress of having a baby and a difficult child, especially a bipolar one. Even if he does not know personally - he knows.</p><p> </p><p>As I have pointed out to my husband, regarding BFF - who he is friends with as well - I trust him, and I trust me. I don't totally trust US together. And since this friend of yours is male... Even in a relationship... You MUST be careful. There is a reason it is said that men and women can't be "just friends". Yes, there is the exception that proves the rule. But you can't be too careful!</p><p> </p><p>And last but not least ... Get out, take care of YOU. Restart your social life. You MUST have an outlet or difficult child and Baby will make you crazy. And husband needs to learn to handle it. Group outings are awesome - just make sure there is a mix of attached, unattached, etc. so no one ends up feeling like a third wheel.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 340392, member: 6705"] been there done that... Sort of. My husband works 2nd shift so when I see my friends it is rarely with him. But let me give you a little word of cautionary advice... Be very careful. I have male friends, in fact my BFF is a guy. We had a thing in the past, but it's long since over. Still, I never let myself be totally alone with him. Even out for coffee. Love him, and if things were different I'd probably be with him. But I am not willing to lose husband over him. Nor am I willing to risk my close friendship with BFF's wife. If it came down to a choice? husband. No contest. Even after all the stuff we have been through recently. HOWEVER that said. My husband knows better than to give me an ultimatum. I don't do well with ultimatums. And if you are hearing, "I trust you but I don't trust him" - um - he doesn't trust YOU. He knows you need someone there for you while he is deployed. He knows about the stress of having a baby and a difficult child, especially a bipolar one. Even if he does not know personally - he knows. As I have pointed out to my husband, regarding BFF - who he is friends with as well - I trust him, and I trust me. I don't totally trust US together. And since this friend of yours is male... Even in a relationship... You MUST be careful. There is a reason it is said that men and women can't be "just friends". Yes, there is the exception that proves the rule. But you can't be too careful! And last but not least ... Get out, take care of YOU. Restart your social life. You MUST have an outlet or difficult child and Baby will make you crazy. And husband needs to learn to handle it. Group outings are awesome - just make sure there is a mix of attached, unattached, etc. so no one ends up feeling like a third wheel. [/QUOTE]
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