Rap boy suicide attempt

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Arttillygirl, Apr 24, 2011.

  1. Arttillygirl

    Arttillygirl New Member

    Well I'd hoped to never need to post again (rap boy is what I called my son in previous years because he wants to be a rapper) but our son tried to commit suicide while at college. He was doing so well, honor roll even. But he lost his scholarship, took 5 classes instead of 4, was always broke because he couldnt find a job, and his girlfriend broke up with him so he took aspirin, Tylenol and nyquil. He was hospitalized and is now out. One one hand I am reeling from being so relieved he is alive and another I am so angry. He figured out all his classes so he can finish this year and then went out if town with friends! His computer was cooked in his car so I am busy trying to work out details with the insurance so he can finish classes and he emails me (he can't find his phone) that he's out of town.
    This whole ordeal will probably cost us 7k out of pocket. He has one more year and a half of college and frankly I am wondering if it's worth it.
    The psychiatrist hinted at bipolar but my son said he said he didn't have it. Now that he is 19 and in another city it is so hard to get info or help him. He was on so oft and vyvance for ADHD the doctor gave him wellbutrin (which hes tried before) and ambien.
    My husband is dreading the summer and is already talking about curviews etc. So we are arguing about how to handle him.
    Any support would be greatly appreciated.
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2011
  2. Arttillygirl

    Arttillygirl New Member

    Meant to write zoloft.
  3. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    *hugs* hon. Don't have any advice for you, but I'm here.
  4. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    I'm glad your son survived and can only imagine the roller coaster you are on. I wish had I had some sage advice for you, but can only offer hugs, support and prayers. Keep us posted and hang in there.
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    (((hugs and prayers)))
  6. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    I'm so sorry...

    (((hugs))) and prayers for your family.
  7. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Oh my heart is with you. It can be so hard once they are over 18 and treatment decisions are out of your hands. My strong suggestin is that you and your husband get some help so that you are on rhe same page when your son comes home for the summer. If you dont have a therapist that can work with you together find one. Coming up with a list of expectations when he is home is probably a good idea but to be effective you and husband neednto be on the same page.

    Hugs....this is so hard.
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Hi A -

    Long time no talk to. Sorry it has to be like this, had hoped without any word? Things had gotten a lot better, and by the sounds of it? He graduated, and made it into college- had a girlfriend. Sounds pretty normal and good. Just maybe didn't know how to handle the disappointment when it came. Kinda like a rock star - Everyone loved you today because you're great and then things start falling apart and you wonder why on earth you are really here. Questions I'm sure he's going to need to address with his therapist. I would assume with a suicide attempt - this would be a must do, on his list. Maybe not an I want, or even an I need - but a must do.

    I have to ask, and don't think I'm being callous - I'm not. I've just had too much experience with suicides, attempted and actual. So this is more where to point than pointing at. You said he took Nyquil, Tylenol and aspirin. He also was "found" by someone or did he "call" someone at the last minute? I'm asking because if you haven't had any experience with suicidal people - there can be a difference, and not that he wasn't so depressed that he didn't feel like dying - but it's curious that he's out, and already thinking about his classes and life again. That's the part that worries me, or bothers me. See if he attempted to commit suicide vs. attempted suicide? He may have called someone, left a trail, thought it out well enough to leave himself an 'out' - making sure someone knew or several people knew and would find him in time. This is what I was told is a cry for help. Not that it couldn't have happened, and he really couldn't have died. But moreso he was dying for someone's attention and just so desperate he wasn't sure how to ask for help.

    The other thought I have is - it was Tylenol, and aspirin - not exactly what I would say someone thinks of when they think - Boy I'm going to kill myself, but if he was in an out of mind state and used what he had then washed it down with Nyquil? He's out just days later and everyones just thinking - Okey dokey - lets think about school 6 months down the road. I would want to know WHAT ABOUT YOUR MIND NOW? What about you trying to take your life NOW? THAT needs fixed and addressed NOW before you move forward with anything else. I would think - his doctors would encourage him to move forward of course - but I didn't see anything about follow up outpatient therapy to deal with the things that led him TO this attemp whether it was a sincere attempt to end his life - or just a cry for help. BOTH I might ad - would most certainly need to be addressed and dealt with before school or anything else. I don't see how he can continue a full schedule of stressful school - and try to put his mind back together. So this leaves me a bit confused???

    I'm not saying bring him home and baby him either - I would NEVER EVER do that. I think he needs however to take a break from whatever it is that is stressing him out - maybe take 1/2 the classes - get a job, pay you back the money he owes for the 7G and stay where he is - get an apartment with some buddies over the summer NOT move back home - and see a local therapist about his depression. It doesn't have to be BiPolar (BP) - so what if it is? He can be depressed.....but whatever it is that led up to this event? THAT is the thing I'd be worried about with him right now. That, and as the Mother of Dude - NO moving back home. You just mentioned it and it's stressing your marriage right? Yeah - so find another option - like BOY STAYS, GETS PT JOB - splits room with buddies. Just a thought!

    Also wanted to add - that it can be helpful too for you and husband right now, or even if you just go alone to go talk to a therapist for a short time about what is going on with your son or even some kind of support group if you are into that. You of course always have us here, and just so you know I don't think suicide holds the stigma of hushed silence that it used to. When I tell people that Dude tried to kill himself twice and nearly succeeded not because he wanted to be found but because he was being watched by staff; and one other time by telling us he was swallowing a bottle of Tylenol and aspirin? I didn't understand very much, but I will say that after both attempts we realized neither of us can be on Zoloft. That particular AD makes me have idealizations of suicide. Both times for him? It made him try to kill himself. I'm on Welbutrin now and it's wonderful for me. Interestingly enough we were told often what works for the Mother for depression will work for the children. I never knew that. But also what doesn't work for one - can have the same adverse reactions. Can being the key word.

    I'm really sorry that this has touched your family. I hope that you know you can come here and lean on us for support and hopefully even a good chuckle to pick you up once in a while. Right now? I just send you a big hug and a lot of love cause you need it!

    Last edited: Apr 24, 2011
  9. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    I too am glad your son survived. What a horrible ordeal for all concerned.
    I would not rule out bipolar. Is he being re-evaluated for this? Can you get a second opinion? The reason it is important to find out is that his medications might have to be changed or at least tweaked if this is a real possibility.
    Also agree that getting on the same page re: limits for the summer is a great idea. A therapist for you and your spouse is a good idea. And also, one for your son!
    New plans for the fall are surely in order. Hopefully, your son will be on more effective medications and will agree to go at a pace that he wont find problematic.
    Take good care of yourself!!!!
  10. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    I am glad your son survived. I hope everything works out for him.