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Re: Grandson ~ Behavior Question
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 220893" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Is there still a plan to return him to his dad this month? does he know that he is going back to his dad? Is he visiting his dad/dad's home?</p><p></p><p>You have one angry little boy. There is a LOT to be worried about, in my humble opinion. On the equality with you/adults, is there any chance he is somewhere on the autistic spectrum? In so many many ways my son thought he was my equal in ways the other 2 kids NEVER did. He has gotten past it, but only through learning it himself. </p><p></p><p>I really think there are some attachment issues, even if it is not full-blown Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). Before he caem to live with you, he came to Grandma's and was safe and fed an nurtured there. He probably did NOT understand that you were not ALLOWED to keep him or you would have. </p><p></p><p>Then things got even worse at his home and he was removed from there. He came to live with you. In some part of his heart or brain he probably thought he was saved forever from his father/stepmother and that way of life.</p><p></p><p>Recently the courts at least discussed sending him back to his father. He would know about it - he is very smart and it would be very hard for him NOT to hear you speaking about it.</p><p></p><p>THAT probably rocked his world. He thought he was safe, finally, and for good. And then it came up that he might or did have to go back.</p><p></p><p>At 5 years old that would be very scary and it would make you very angry. I am sure he doesn't understand courts and "family reunification" and a messed up system that would send a little child back to people who abused/neglected him just because they took a class or ten.I know that most ADULTS (including myself) do NOT understand this system. Just IMAGINE how angry and scared he must be.</p><p></p><p>I find that tdocs of the same sex tend to be less easily manipulated by a child. I know my daughter has gotten a couple of male tdocs totally wrapped around ehr finger, and the boys have done so with some female tdocs. This is jusst my opinion, but I do think that a male therapist will be less easily manipulated. But if you cna't fidn one, well, you do the best you can with what you have. </p><p></p><p>I am sorry. I know all of this is tough to handle. Sending gentle hugs to all of you.</p><p></p><p>Susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 220893, member: 1233"] Is there still a plan to return him to his dad this month? does he know that he is going back to his dad? Is he visiting his dad/dad's home? You have one angry little boy. There is a LOT to be worried about, in my humble opinion. On the equality with you/adults, is there any chance he is somewhere on the autistic spectrum? In so many many ways my son thought he was my equal in ways the other 2 kids NEVER did. He has gotten past it, but only through learning it himself. I really think there are some attachment issues, even if it is not full-blown Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). Before he caem to live with you, he came to Grandma's and was safe and fed an nurtured there. He probably did NOT understand that you were not ALLOWED to keep him or you would have. Then things got even worse at his home and he was removed from there. He came to live with you. In some part of his heart or brain he probably thought he was saved forever from his father/stepmother and that way of life. Recently the courts at least discussed sending him back to his father. He would know about it - he is very smart and it would be very hard for him NOT to hear you speaking about it. THAT probably rocked his world. He thought he was safe, finally, and for good. And then it came up that he might or did have to go back. At 5 years old that would be very scary and it would make you very angry. I am sure he doesn't understand courts and "family reunification" and a messed up system that would send a little child back to people who abused/neglected him just because they took a class or ten.I know that most ADULTS (including myself) do NOT understand this system. Just IMAGINE how angry and scared he must be. I find that tdocs of the same sex tend to be less easily manipulated by a child. I know my daughter has gotten a couple of male tdocs totally wrapped around ehr finger, and the boys have done so with some female tdocs. This is jusst my opinion, but I do think that a male therapist will be less easily manipulated. But if you cna't fidn one, well, you do the best you can with what you have. I am sorry. I know all of this is tough to handle. Sending gentle hugs to all of you. Susie [/QUOTE]
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