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General Parenting
re: How do you discipline your children?
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<blockquote data-quote="cmfout" data-source="post: 427497"><p>With my difficult child, the more you try to control with consequences the worse he becomes. Instead, talking to him and giving him a voice makes a world of difference. He knows exactly what I approve of and what I won't tolerate, and he knows where things fall in the grey area in between. If he's in doubt, he asks. I don't choose to use punishments. I found early on with him that they simply don't work. Instead, if he goes into a rage I try to direct him to beat on something he can't destroy. He now has a punching bag for exactly that reason. If he does something I don't approve of, we talk about how he could have handled the situation differently and he's given the chance to correct his mistakes when it's possible. He learns by example and experience, not by me taking his belongings away from him and triggering poor behavior. In less than a year we've gone from several explosive and violent rages each week to one every few months with little to no violence. He's controlling himself and his emotions now, and I doubt he would be if I had taken a stronger approach with him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="cmfout, post: 427497"] With my difficult child, the more you try to control with consequences the worse he becomes. Instead, talking to him and giving him a voice makes a world of difference. He knows exactly what I approve of and what I won't tolerate, and he knows where things fall in the grey area in between. If he's in doubt, he asks. I don't choose to use punishments. I found early on with him that they simply don't work. Instead, if he goes into a rage I try to direct him to beat on something he can't destroy. He now has a punching bag for exactly that reason. If he does something I don't approve of, we talk about how he could have handled the situation differently and he's given the chance to correct his mistakes when it's possible. He learns by example and experience, not by me taking his belongings away from him and triggering poor behavior. In less than a year we've gone from several explosive and violent rages each week to one every few months with little to no violence. He's controlling himself and his emotions now, and I doubt he would be if I had taken a stronger approach with him. [/QUOTE]
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re: How do you discipline your children?
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