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re: two minutes in school - help..long sry
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<blockquote data-quote="Big Bad Kitty" data-source="post: 43530" data-attributes="member: 3647"><p>I agree with Marg.</p><p></p><p>You do need a break. Good job on telling husband that it was all in his hands. Now YOU need to follow through. You need to let him do it, even if it is not the way you would. Maybe he will have some new ideas on how to handle difficult child, if only because he is not so beaten down. You need to detatch, even if it drives you nuts to watch them interact, and let him do it his way. Otherwise, well, you really have not turned anything over to him, now, have you?</p><p></p><p>If he smart-mouths you in the meantime, try to change how you react to it. Grounding him for a week is very unreasonable, although as beaten down as you must feel, I get why you did it. iF he gets fresh with you again, first of all, do NOT expect husband to come to your rescue right away. Don't look at him to do it, and don't ask him to do it. If you have detatched yourself from them completely, husband will probably feel abandoned, rightly or wrongly, and chances are he is not going to be your knight in shining armor right away. Further, do not REACT if difficult child gets smart. It's not easy to do. It takes practice. Don't even look at him, just say "that's nice" and do what you were doing. Walk away. If he follows you, leave. He will eventually give up, after all, you are no longer doling out punishments. </p><p></p><p>Marg had an excellent idea, there is nothing wrong with you taking a respite for yourself. A weekend, a week, whatever, You need to nurture and care for yourself. You deserve it. </p><p></p><p>One last thing. Don't ever let your son hear you say that it is his fault. There is nothing more damaging to a child's self esteem. I don't think it is anyone's "fault". It is situational. And you can get through it. </p><p></p><p>Big hugs and prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Big Bad Kitty, post: 43530, member: 3647"] I agree with Marg. You do need a break. Good job on telling husband that it was all in his hands. Now YOU need to follow through. You need to let him do it, even if it is not the way you would. Maybe he will have some new ideas on how to handle difficult child, if only because he is not so beaten down. You need to detatch, even if it drives you nuts to watch them interact, and let him do it his way. Otherwise, well, you really have not turned anything over to him, now, have you? If he smart-mouths you in the meantime, try to change how you react to it. Grounding him for a week is very unreasonable, although as beaten down as you must feel, I get why you did it. iF he gets fresh with you again, first of all, do NOT expect husband to come to your rescue right away. Don't look at him to do it, and don't ask him to do it. If you have detatched yourself from them completely, husband will probably feel abandoned, rightly or wrongly, and chances are he is not going to be your knight in shining armor right away. Further, do not REACT if difficult child gets smart. It's not easy to do. It takes practice. Don't even look at him, just say "that's nice" and do what you were doing. Walk away. If he follows you, leave. He will eventually give up, after all, you are no longer doling out punishments. Marg had an excellent idea, there is nothing wrong with you taking a respite for yourself. A weekend, a week, whatever, You need to nurture and care for yourself. You deserve it. One last thing. Don't ever let your son hear you say that it is his fault. There is nothing more damaging to a child's self esteem. I don't think it is anyone's "fault". It is situational. And you can get through it. Big hugs and prayers. [/QUOTE]
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re: two minutes in school - help..long sry
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